减少分心、提升专注力的策略 | Nir Eyal
Strategies for becoming less distractible and improving focus | Nir Eyal
Nir Eyal: I went to Alibaba and I bought myself one of these flip phones from China like we used to have in the 1990s with no apps, no internet connection. And then I got myself a word processor off of eBay so that I could just sit down and write and do the important stuff. And even when I stopped using all the technology, even when I got rid of all the apps, I would sit down on my desk and I’d say, “Oh, you know what? There’s that book that I’ve been meaning what to do some research in,” or, “Let me just clean off my desk real quick,” or, “You know what? I should take out the trash.” And I kept getting distracted because the problem is not our technology. The problem is our inability to deal with discomfort. So, what I have adopted for myself and what I’d advise anyone who finds themselves in this situation is to always identify what is that internal trigger, what is that itch that you are looking to escape when you get distracted, because that is the source of 90% of our distractions.
It’s not the pings, dings, and rings. It’s the feelings. But to me, that’s incredibly empowering because once you realize, “Wait a minute, it’s just a feeling.” It’s all it is, it’s just an emotion. Then you can have tools ready to go. You can have arrows in your quiver ready to take out as soon as you feel that discomfort.
About the Guest
Lenny: Today, my guest is Nir Eyal. Nir is the author of two bestselling books, Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products and Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. Nir spends his time teaching and consulting at the intersection of psychology, technology, and business. His books have sold over 1 million copies in over 30 languages. In our conversation, we get very tactical about how to become less distractable and how to get better at focusing on doing the work that you know need to do. Nir shares at least a dozen tools and tricks that you can put into place today to help you stay focused and avoid getting distracted. After this conversation, I’ve already implemented some of these tactics and they’re actually working. If you find these helpful or you want to go deeper, definitely check out Nir’s book Indistractable. With that, here is Nir Eyal after a short word from our sponsors.
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Nir, thank you so much for being here and welcome to the podcast.
Nir Eyal: Thanks so much, Lenny. Great to be here.
Root of Distraction: Discomfort, Not Tech
Lenny: I feel like we have a chance to record the most valuable hour in podcast history because it could give people more time to do the things they want to do. And this is based on a book that you wrote. It’s called Indistractable, which is all about helping people become less distracted, become better at focus, and it might be the most essential skill in the workplace today. And so, what I’m hoping to do today in our chat is just basically give people as many tactical skills and pieces of advice and tools to become less distractable and to get better at focus. How does that sound?
Redefining Distraction
Nir Eyal: That sounds great. I love that you’re setting the expectations high. I’ll try and meet them.
The Most Hidden Form of Distraction
Lenny: Well now, we got to hit them. Okay, so here’s the question. I’ll just start really broad and let’s just see where this goes. My question is just how does one become less distractable, slash how do I become less distractable?
Nir Eyal: Okay, so there’s a deeper motivation here. It’s like, “I need help,” which is great. That’s my favorite thing to do, is to actually get concrete with people about what their specific challenges are. But let me back up here. So, this is what I spent five years writing a book about, because why did it take me five years to write a book? Because I was so distracted. So, I wrote this book for me more than anyone else. That’s the only reason I write books. It’s not because of what I know, but because of what I want to know. And I discovered that there were so many myths and tropes and just flat out harmful things that I was doing to hurt my own productivity. And when I really went down to first principles and looked at the research, I found that there were so many things that I was doing wrong.
But since I’ve changed my ways and adopted what the research literature says about distraction, it’s improved my life in inconceivable ways. I’m in the best shape of my life at 45 years old. I have a better relationship with my family than ever. I’m more productive at work than ever before, not because I didn’t know what to do. That’s what I find is really emblematic of people today is not that we don’t know what to do. It used to be maybe, okay, our grandparents, they didn’t know what to do because the information was scarce. They had to go to the library and look things up. Well, today, with the internet, we all basically know what to do. And if you don’t know what to do, Google it. You can find the answer out there. But we all basically know common-sense stuff like if you want to get in shape, you have to exercise and eat right, okay?
You don’t need a diet book to tell you that. If you want to have better relationships with your family, you have to be fully present with people. If you want to do better at work, you have to do the hard work that other people don’t want to do. We already know these things. What we don’t know is how to get out of our own way, how to stop getting distracted. And so, that was certainly my problem. And so, what I wanted to do was really dive into the problem because the conventional solutions didn’t work for me. When I have a problem in my life, I’ll think about it, I’ll write about it, I’ll talk to friends, I’ll talk to my wife about it. If I still can’t figure it out, I’ll read books about it. And what the conventional wisdom out there written by a lot of college professors that are all tenured is stop using technology, stop checking email, get off social media. It’s melting your brain, but that’s not very helpful, right?
Maybe if you have tenure, that’s okay, but I can’t stop using technology. My career will plummet. I have to use these tools. So, I wanted much more practical advice, and what I discovered was that the root cause of distraction is much more interesting and the solution is far more empowering than stop using technology, technology’s evil, it’s melting your brain. So, where do we begin? Maybe the best place to start is by first, before we dive into the tactics around how do we become indistractable, the first place to start is what is distraction? Understanding the term really, really matters. And the best way to understand what distraction is, is to understand what distraction is not. What’s the opposite of distraction? So, if you ask most people, what’s the opposite of distraction?
They’ll tell you focus, right? I don’t want to be distracted, I want to be focused. That’s not exactly right. Then in fact, the opposite of distraction is not focus. The opposite of distraction is traction. Becomes pretty easy when you look at both words, traction, distraction. They’re opposites because both words come from the same Latin root, trahare, which means to pull, and they both end in the same six letters, A-C-T-I-O-N that spells action, reminding us that distraction is not something that happens to us. It is an action that we ourselves take. So, traction, by definition, is any action that pulls you towards what you say you were going to do, things you do with intent, things that move you closer to your values, and help you become the kind of person you want to become. Those are acts of traction. Now, the opposite of traction, distraction, is any action that pulls you away from what you plan to do, further away from your goals, further away from becoming the kind of person you want to become.
And what separates traction from distraction is one word, and that one word is intent. I love this Dorothy Parker. She said, “The time you plan to waste is not wasted time.” So, I think we need to stop medicalizing and moralizing what people do with their time. Why is it that someone going on Reddit or on social media or watching a YouTube video that’s somehow morally inferior to watching a football game on TV? It’s not. Anything you want to do with your time and attention is fine as long as it’s done with intent, as long as you’re doing it on your schedule, and not someone else’s, certainly not the tech company’s schedule. So, anything you do with intent is traction, anything else is distraction. So, what I discovered, for me, was that I was getting tricked by distraction in that the most pernicious form of distraction I discovered was the kind I didn’t even realize was distracting me.
So, let me know if this sounds familiar to you, Lenny. I would sit down at my desk. I would look at my to-do list. By the way, we can talk about why to-do lists are one of the worst things you can do for your personal productivity. We can get back to that later. But I would sit down at my desk and I’d say, “Okay, I’ve got that big important project. That’s what I’m going to do this morning. I’m not going to get distracted, nothing’s going to get in my way. Here I go, I’m going to get started, but first let me check some email.”
Triggers: The Root of Distraction
Lenny: Are you watching me because this happens to me every morning. You got to stop.
Mastering Internal Triggers and the 10-Minute Rule
Nir Eyal: This is totally autobiographical. This is what I used to do all the… “Oh, let me just scroll that Slack channel. What’s everybody at the office doing? Oh, let me just catch up on industry news.” That’s important. That’s part of my job. I’m being productive, right? And what I didn’t realize is that distraction was tricking me into prioritizing the urgent and the easy stuff at the expense of the hard and important work I had to do to move my life and career forward. So, just because it’s a work-related task, doesn’t mean it’s not a distraction. In fact, that’s the worst kind of distraction. Far worse than playing Candy Crush or whatever because then you’re putzing around, then at least it’s obvious that you’re distracted. But if you’re just checking work email, you feel productive even though that’s a distraction because it’s not what you said you want to do with your time and attention. So now, we have this framework. We have traction, we have distraction.
Now, there’s one more thing that’s super important, then we’ll have the entire picture so that we can stop thinking about the model and actually get to a brass tacks of what do we actually do. Now that we have traction distraction the other thing we have to consider are triggers. We have two kinds of triggers. We have external triggers. These are things in our outside environment, the usual suspects, the pings, the dings, the rings, all this stuff in our outside environment, which we tend to blame for distraction, but studies find, that’s only 10% of the reason we get distracted, 10% of the time it’s because of something outside of us. What’s the other 90%? Turns out 90% of the time that we get distracted, it’s not because of what’s happening outside of us, but that most distraction begins from within boredom, loneliness, fatigue, uncertainty, anxiety. That is the cause of 90% of our distractions. So, whether it’s too much news, too much booze, too much football, too much Facebook, you are always going to get distracted from one thing or another unless you understand the root cause of the problem.
So, step number one to becoming indistractable is to master those internal triggers or they will become your master. Now, we’re working around those four points. Step number two, make time for traction. We can talk about that. Hack back the external triggers and step number four, prevent distraction with pacts. So, you asked a big question, I gave you a big answer. That’s the overall framework. That’s a strategy. Tactics are what you do. Strategy is why you do it. So, I wanted to explain the strategy before we got into the tactics.
Surfing Urges and the 10-Minute Rule
Lenny: Amazing. I love this word traction because it relates to kind of the other side of this podcast of growth, product market fit, building products people want, getting traction with users. So, I really like that there’s this additional way of thinking about traction, which is basically not being distracted. Can you just repeat the four steps again for people to have this in mind?
Nir Eyal: Step number one, master internal triggers. Step number two, make time for traction. So, this is where we’re turning our values into time. We can talk about how to do that. Step number three is hack back the external triggers. This is where we get into the pings, dings, and rings, not just the obvious stuff like your phone, your computer. I take about a page and a half to talk about that. That’s kind of kindergarten stuff. But what about all the non-obvious external triggers? What about stupid meetings that didn’t need to be called? What about emails that didn’t need to be sent and received? What about our kids? Our kids are wonderful. I know you’re a new dad, they’re fantastic to have kids, but they can also be a source of distraction. So, how do we deal with all those external triggers, and then finally prevent distraction with pacts and pacts are this firewall, this last resort against distraction that we can use to keep distraction at bay and it’s really about these four steps in concert in this order that anyone can use to become indistractable.
Tech Isn’t Hijacking Your Brain
Lenny: Awesome. Does this spell something clever, by the way?
Nir Eyal: No, I didn’t have an acronym, but I do have a pretty picture.
Time-Boxed Schedules
Lenny: Awesome. So, let’s go through this and I’d love specifically example you shared, I think many people run into this. There’s a hard thing I need to do and I’m just going to go check my email and Twitter instead. I feel like that’s a very common distraction, and so sharing, getting into that at some point would be awesome, but otherwise let’s get into these four steps.
Nir Eyal: Yeah, well, we can absolutely do that. So, is that something you encounter? It sounds like a…
Practicing Deep Work Time
Lenny: 100%. Every time. I have my to-do list, work on next week’s post, and then I’m like, “Oh, let me just go check Twitter or maybe tweet something and that’ll be fun,” and then totally check my email. “Oh, inbox zero. Let’s get all the way to zero. Oh, that’s cool. Okay, now the days are over.”
The Power of Precommitment
Nir Eyal: Exactly. And by the way, we are cut from the same cloth. This is exactly the pattern I used to get into and I knew I wasn’t doing my best because I wasn’t putting in the time to the things that were most important. I was doing just what was easy and what was urgent and that’s not good enough. So, if we use this model, step number one is master the internal triggers. So, for you, Lenny, so when you say, “Okay, I know I’ve got to do this big important thing, but now I’m going to go check email,” I would guess that there’s some kind of underlying emotion that you’re trying to escape. Let’s put yourself in the shoes that you were in when you said, “I was going to do that big important thing, but now I’m going to check email instead.” Do you remember the last time that happened, by the way?
The To-Do List Fallacy
Lenny: Every morning.
Planning Fallacy and Time Boxing
Nir Eyal: Every morning. This morning?
Deadlines and Procrastination
Lenny: Yeah, this morning.
The Carrot Is the Stick
Nir Eyal: Okay, perfect. Do you recall what you were feeling right before you went to Twitter or checked email or did the thing that you didn’t want to do as opposed to the thing you said you were going to do?
Putting Time Boxes on the Calendar
Lenny: I don’t know if this is an emotion or feeling, but there’s just this, I need to get serious and start using my brain and there’s going to be this deep work moment where I just get real deep and it takes a lot of effort to push me into that. Sometimes easier, sometimes harder. So, maybe it’s avoiding this, “Oh, okay, I’m going to really have to think.” It’s like, I guess, it’s the fear of the brain starting to really have to work.
Hacking Back External Triggers
Nir Eyal: Yeah, that’s hard work. So maybe, it’s a bit of laziness. Maybe, it’s a bit of momentum. There’s this uncomfortable feeling of this cold start problem. “Oh, I don’t really want to do it right now.” So, this is incredibly important and I appreciate your candor here around what you feel because all of us experience it and we don’t want to talk about it. We want to think that it’s, “Oh, I’ll just grayscale my phone,” or, “I’ll just turn off notifications and that’s going to solve the problem,” and it never does. And let me tell you, I tried all of it. I went to Alibaba and I bought myself one of these flip phones from China like we used to have in the 1990s with no apps, no internet connection, and then I got myself a word processor off of eBay, so that I could just sit down and write and do the important stuff.
And even when I stopped using all the technology, even when I got rid of all the apps, I would sit down on my desk and I’d say, “Oh, you know what? There’s that book that I’ve been meaning what to do some research in,” or, “Let me just clean off my desk real quick,” or, “You know what? I should take out the trash.” And I kept getting distracted because the problem is not our technology. The problem is our inability to deal with discomfort. So, what I have adopted for myself and what I’d advise anyone who finds themselves in this situation is to always identify what is that internal trigger, what is that itch that you are looking to escape when you get distracted, because that is the source of 90% of our distractions. It’s not the pings, dings, and rings. It’s the feelings. But to me, that’s incredibly empowering because once you realize, “Wait a minute, it’s just a feeling.” It’s all it is, it’s just an emotion. Then you can have tools ready to go. You can have arrows in your quiver ready to take out as soon as you feel that discomfort.
So, let me give you one tool that I use every single day. Feel free to use it next time you feel this same problem. It’s called the 10-minute rule, and this is just one of a dozen different techniques that you can use that I put in the book, but this is one that I use almost every single day. So, for me, I’ve been a professional writer now for over a decade, and writing is never easy. I hear people say like, “Oh, just form a writing habit.” I think that’s ridiculous. I don’t know what they’re talking about. A habit is defined as a behavior done with little or no conscious thought. I don’t know how to write out of habit. Writing is always hard. Fricking work. I’ve written two bestsellers, thousands of articles and let me tell you, it’s always difficult. It’s hard, and all I want to do when I write is just Google this one thing or let me just check the news real quick or let me just do anything but the actual writing. So, here’s what I do.
Key Takeaways
Lenny: By the way, there’s a great quote that I’ll share real quick about this that I think I share often on this podcast that I think it’s falsely attributed to Hemingway, but it’s that, “Writing is easy. Just sit down at the keyboard and bleed.”
Nir Eyal: Oh my God, that’s so true. It’s so true, and I’ve not figured out how to make it suddenly easy. Every single word is hard to type out, but I got to do it right and I love doing it. I love having done it. In the process, it’s very difficult. But after I make the discovery, after I create something that I think is useful, then it’s a lot of fun. But doing the work is really difficult. So, here’s what I do. Every time that I am tempted to go do something else, which is all the time, what I will do is I will take out a timer, I’ll take out my phone and I’ll say, “Set a timer for 10 minutes.” I’ll put the phone down and my job is for those 10 minutes, whenever I’m ready, get back to the task at hand or do what’s called surf the urge.
Surfing the urge acknowledges that these emotions are like waves. They crest and then they subside. But that’s not how we think about emotions. Most of us think about emotions as always being there. If I feel bored, I feel like I’m always going to be bored. If I’m frustrated, it feels like I’m always going to be frustrated, but that’s never the case. Emotions are like waves. So, your job is to set that timer for 10 minutes and realize you can do just about anything for just 10 minutes. So, the idea is not to say don’t do it. We know that this technique that a lot of people use of abstinence, telling yourself, “Don’t do that, that’s bad,” actually can backfire. And we can talk about the psychology if that’s interesting of why abstinence backfires. But a much healthier technique is not to tell yourself no. It’s to tell yourself not yet.
You’re not saying no, you’re saying not yet. And so, you can do just about anything for 10 minutes. So, what I tell myself is, “Okay, I’m just going to wait 10 minutes before I check email, before I scroll social media, before I Google something that is just trying to procrastinate doing the work.” I can do that. I’m a grown man. I can do whatever I want. I can do that in 10 minutes. And so, for those 10 minutes, all I have to do is either get back to the task at hand, get back to writing, or surf the urge, which is simply experiencing that sensation, acknowledging, “You know what? This is hard work. That’s okay. That’s why I’m feeling frustrated. That’s why I’m feeling bored. That’s why I’m feeling anxious. That’s why I have this cold start around I don’t really want to do this work because it’s difficult.”
So, what I do is I take a deep breath and I repeat a mantra that I made up for myself. You can make up your own mantra. My personal mantra whenever I feel this internal trigger is I remind myself this. I say, “This is what it feels like to get better. This is what it feels like to get better.” And just saying that for as long as I need to until that emotion crests and subsides and then get back to work. What you’ll find nine times out of 10 is that by the time those 10 minutes are up, you will have forgotten about that sensation. You’ll be right back at the task at hand. And so, that’s what’s called the 10-minute rule. And of course what you’re doing over time is that the 10-minute rule can become the 12-minute rule, can become the 20-minute rule, and most importantly, you are proving to yourself that you have agency that you said you were going to focus on a task and you did. That’s the most important part.
The flip that we need to change in people’s minds is this ridiculous belief that technology is hijacking our brains. There’s nothing we can do about distraction that our focus is being stolen. It’s not being stolen, we’re giving it away. And so, what we need to do is to empower ourselves by showing ourselves in practice as well as in theory that we can postpone that distraction when we say we will.
More Tips for Managing Internal Triggers
Lenny: What I like about this is one, it’s kind of like the Pomodoro technique, but it’s shorter. The 10 minutes I think is a really clever tweak versus 20 minutes, which a lot of people recommend. And then I guess a couple of follow-up questions. Do you do this one time in the morning and then not come back to it? Is this like a jump start for the day and then you start… If I start a thing like this, it won’t be 10 minutes, it’ll be like an hour because I’m like, “Okay, I did the hard thing, I’m into it. I’m just going to keep working.” So, is this like a jump start for the morning or do you come back to this throughout the day?
Social Antibodies
Nir Eyal: So, you can do it whenever you find yourself slipping off track. And so, the Pomodoro is a version of this. I don’t think it’s complete enough because Pomodoro just said, “Set the timer, do it.” Okay, fine. And that’s great if it works for you. By the way, anything I’m saying right now, if the thing is working for you, if your life is awesome and you’re doing what you said you’re going to do, maybe this isn’t the podcast. Maybe my book isn’t the book for you, right? I’m talking to the people who, for whatever reason, you know you’re capable of more, you know you’re drifting off track. Maybe if like me, you said you were going to exercise but you didn’t or you said you’re going to eat right, but you don’t. You said you were going to work on that big task, but you procrastinate. That’s really who I was and that’s who I wrote this book for.
And so, you can use that technique whenever you get distracted. It’s not the whole picture. So, it’s super important. Remember we talked about those four steps. This is just step number one. There’s about a dozen different things you can do. Maybe this particular 10-minute rule doesn’t work for you, doesn’t work for everyone. There might be other techniques you use. So, there’s dozens of different techniques just about this step around mastering internal triggers. But the next step to answer your question of well, how long do I go for? Do I do it for an hour? If now, I’m in the zone? And my answer is emphatically no. You don’t go as long as you think you can. What you want to do, and this is step number two, is you’re making time for traction by turning your values into time, which means you are going to make a time box schedule because you cannot call something a distraction unless you know what it distracted you from.
I’ll say that again. You can’t call something a distraction unless you know what it distracted you from. So, for me, at least, when I would succumb to, “Oh, let me just check email for a quick minute, let me just see what’s happening on Twitter for a quick minute,” part of that was because I would justify to myself, “Well, this is a work-related task. I got to do it sometime,” and there wasn’t a specific time to do it on my calendar, so I would keep thinking, “Well, I got to do it sometime. Might as well just do it now.” And that’s a huge mistake because if you can’t look at your calendar and say, “Oh, that’s traction.” Okay, check email, write the blog post, post the podcast, go on social media. If that’s not what’s written in your calendar, if it’s not there, it’s a distraction. And so, it’s not just work-related stuff. I literally have time in my calendar, spend time with my daughter, go on social media, watch Netflix. It’s in my calendar. So now, I took what was previously distraction and I turned it into traction by putting it on my schedule.
Building an Indistractable Company
Lenny: So, you actually do this through the day you have, “I’m going to check Twitter during this time of the day, I’m going to hang out with my daughter during this time of the day.”
Giving Employees a Discussion Platform
Nir Eyal: Exactly. And you’re adjusting it never in the day. So, you never want to do that. You always want to make sure you’re doing it the day before. And so, what I do once a week, Sunday evenings, it takes me maybe 10 minutes a week. 8:00 P.M., I sit down, I look at my schedule for the week ahead and I ask myself, “Does this schedule reflect my values?” What are values? Values are attributes of the person you want to become. I’ll say it again. Values are attributes of the person you want to become. So, there’s three life domains, you, your relationships, and finally your work. So, what you got to do is you look at your calendar for the week ahead and you ask yourself, “How would the person I want to become spend time taking care of themselves?” That’s the you domain. If you can’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others, you can’t make the world a better place.
So then, you put in your calendar how you want to take care of yourself. What might that include? Well, time for rest. We all know how important sleep is, but I used to yell at my daughter and say, “Oh, it’s your bedtime. You got to get to bed.” And then one day she said to me, “Daddy, do you have a bedtime?” She was absolutely right. I was a hypocrite because I know how important sleep is and I didn’t have a bedtime. Now, I have a bedtime. It’s in my schedule. Then put in time for whatever else is important to you. Is reading important to you? Is prayer important to you? Is meditation, is exercise, is video games, is that important to you? Great. Whatever’s important to you according to your values, put it in your schedule. Then you’re going to put your relationships in. So, don’t let the relationships in your life get whatever scraps of time are left over.
Put time in your schedule for your significant other, for your kids, for your buddies. How many of us are trapped in this loneliness epidemic because we don’t make time for our closest relationships, including adult friendships? Don’t let those wither away. Put time in your schedule for those, as well. We know that most friendships, they don’t die in some big blowout. Relationships starve to death because we don’t invest in them. Put time in your schedule for those relationships. We can talk about how to do that, as well. Then finally, the work domain involves two kinds of work. We have what’s called reactive work and reflective work. Reactive work, reacting to notifications, reacting to emails, reacting to taps on the shoulder from your colleagues. That’s going to be part of everybody’s day. I get that, but don’t let that be your entire day because what most people do, they habituate into not wanting to think.
They don’t want to think what’s important. “So, just let me look at my email inbox. My email inbox will tell me what to do. What’s really important for my business? That’s really hard. I don’t really want to think about that. I’ll look at my to-do list and I’ll start ticking off easy tasks to do that make me feel productive.” That’s terrible. What you want to do instead is to book time in your schedule for this reflective work time, which is where you do the kind of work that requires you to work without distraction. Planning, strategizing, thinking, for god’s sakes, can only be done without distraction. So, that fills up your calendar, as well. And what you’re going to find, that there’s never enough time for everything, which is good because what this forces you to do, and this is one of the main reasons why to-do lists suck, is because to-do lists have no constraints.
You can always add more to a to-do list. You can always add more, but here’s what happens. This is what happened to me. I would get home from work. I have a very busy day and I’d look at my to-do list and it’s a hundred items long and I think, “Wow, I’ve been working real hard all day and look at all this stuff I still didn’t do. Loser.” And so, day after day, week after week, month after month, I was reinforcing this self-image as someone who doesn’t know how to manage their time. And then I started saying stupid stuff like, “Oh, maybe I’m no good at time management. Maybe I have undiagnosed ADHD. Maybe there’s something wrong with me.” There’s nothing wrong with me. There’s something wrong with this very stupid to-do list method, which doesn’t force you to understand that there are trade-offs that you have to prioritize properly and that can only be done with constraints and that constraints come from your calendar.
So, you’re turning your values into time by making time for traction and having this calendar and then, only then you can look at your calendar and say, “Ah, whatever it is I plan to do, that’s traction. Everything else is distraction.”
One Immediate Actionable Tip
Lenny: I want to share a couple things that worked for me that are very much along these lines. One is booking. I call it deep work time within the day. This was the only thing I had in the calendar, so I didn’t do the other things, which I think would’ve been really helpful, but I had a, I called it deep work time. I will slap you if you book anything over this meeting.
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Nir Eyal: I love it.
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Lenny: And I did that every Monday morning, Wednesday morning, and Friday sometime, and on that…
Nir Eyal: Who was slapping you?
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Lenny: I would be slapping the person that booked time over that slot and nobody can…
Nir Eyal: Okay, got it.
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Lenny: And I don’t know if that’s allowed these days. I don’t know how this…
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Nir Eyal: Depends who you’re booking with, I guess.
Lenny: Yeah, make it a little less aggressive maybe. But that worked a ton. It was like a two- or three-hour block of deep work time and that made a big dent in my ability to have time to focus because people weren’t booking me as a PM.
Nir Eyal: Yeah, I love it. And by the way, I want to hear more of these, but that illustrates a really good point that when the stakes are high enough, I hear people a lot of times saying, “I just can’t find the time to focus and I can’t get this done and it’s impossible these days.” And then I say, “Well, let’s make a little wager here.” Let’s say, I get this around physical fitness a lot or somebody says, “Oh, I want to be an author. How do I do that? How do I write the book? I can’t seem to find the time.” And they constantly say why They can’t, they can’t, they can’t. “There’s this constraint. My boss wants this. My kids want that.” They have every kind of excuse. And then I say, “Okay, let’s say that if you don’t work out, 8:00 A.M. Monday morning, if you don’t work out, you’re going to have to pay me $10,000. Are you going to do it? Are you going to work out?”
“Well, of course, I’m going to work out. Easily. Yes, of course.” Okay, so we’ve established you can. Now, we’re just negotiating the price. So, this has to do with step four around making pacts, making what’s called a pre-commitment, and one of them is a price pact. This is how I got in shape. I used to be clinically obese. Today, I’m in the best shape of my life, partially because I use these pacts. Now, the important thing is you have to do this last. If you don’t figure out the internal triggers, most importantly, if you don’t make time for traction in your schedule, if you don’t hack back the external triggers, this fourth step won’t work. But as the last line of defense, it’s incredibly impactful and we can talk about how to do that, as well.
Lenny: I heard the all-in guys did this to lose weight. I think Sax and Jason did a pact, too. I think it was a lot of money, a hundred thousand dollars or something wild for…
Nir Eyal: Oh, that’s awesome. Actually, that’s what I used to finish this book, as well. Maybe they read my book, I wonder, because I talked about this exact situation.
Lenny: You hit it. It sounds like. You made it.
Nir Eyal: I did? Yeah.
Lenny: Another trick I’ll share that I found useful around the to-do list. So, I used to-do lists, but I’ve learned that I can’t just let them grow is when I had a regular job. I wrote it down in a notebook and every morning, I rewrote the to-do list so that it reminded me like, “Okay, I’ve copied this thing 10 times now. I’m not going to do it. I’m just going to push it out.” So, that act of just rethinking about it every day was really impactful. But that works for people that are okay with an analog to-do list. If it’s digital, that doesn’t go away.
Nir Eyal: So, I just want to clarify, there’s nothing wrong with taking things out of your brain and putting them on a piece of paper. That’s wonderful, but that’s step one. And so, the big mistake that people make is they put stuff on their to-do list and then they wake up in the morning and what are they supposed to do? “Well, I’ll do whatever’s on my to-do list.” And so, what they tend to do is the easy stuff. I’ve known people, I hate to tell you, I used to do this myself, too. I would do a task and then forget to put it on my to-do list. So, I would go back in and write it on my to-do list just so I could check off the box. How messed up is that? It’s ridiculous. And I think this is something that I think really does need to change is that we have this culture where checking stuff off your list is our little emotional reward, right?
But that’s ridiculous. We need to stop measuring ourselves by how many cute little boxes we check off. And rather, a much more important metric is not, “Did I finish the task?” I don’t want you to track, “Did I finish?” That’s not the important part, but people are probably scratching their heads. What do you mean? Isn’t it all about finishing what I have to do? No, the important part is figuring out your productivity. It’s figuring out how efficient you are at using your time. So, a much more beneficial metric to track is not, “Did I check off the box? Did I finish?” Rather, it’s, “Did I do what I said I was going to do for as long as I said I would without distraction?” I’ll say it again. “Did I do what I said I was going to do for as long as I said I would without distraction?”
Because that is the only way to understand how long things take you. The problem with to-do lists is that there is no feedback loop, there’s no feedback mechanism. How long do things take you? So, this is why you have what’s called the planning fallacy with people who use to-do lists, which says that on average, studies have found that tasks take people three times longer to finish than they estimate. Why does that happen? Because when you say, “Okay, here’s that thing on the to-do list. I’m going to work on that and see how long it takes me to get it done.” So, you work on it for five minutes and then you get an email and then you get a notification and then you start talking to one of your colleagues and you never actually track how long that thing took you to finish, as opposed to when you say, “Look, I’m going to work on that task for as long as I said I would, but without distraction. That’s it. That’s all I’m going to do.”
What you now have is a metric of how far you got. So, I worked on that presentation, it needs to be 30 slides long, and I worked on it for 30 minutes and I finished two slides. Okay, great. Well now, I know that I need 10 more of those time boxes to finish the entire task. And this is why it turns out that people who measure themselves the way I espouse of people who say, “I’m just going to measure myself based on, did I do what I said I was going to do for as long as I said I would without distraction regardless of whether I finished,” the kicker here is they actually finish more. They get more done than the to-do list people because now, they understand how long things take them to finish and they can appropriately time that as opposed to what most of us did.
What I used to do before I wrote Indistractable was procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate. “Oh crap, I got to get this done. The deadline’s here, so I’m going to work all night to finish it,” and of course, that’s not when you do your best work and it’s very stressful.
Lenny: Since you mentioned deadlines, do you have any advice lessons on that as a tool to get things done?
Nir Eyal: What we find is that people who are very deadline motivated, they do finish what they say they’re going to do, but of course, the quality is crap. They’re typically getting by by the skin of their teeth, and I did this all the time. This is my entire college career and my MBA at Stanford career was waiting, waiting, waiting, and then finishing at the last moment. And I could do well enough, but of course, I could do so much better if I worked without distraction. And so, it wasn’t until, and we all know this basically, right? We know that putting in a little bit of diligent effort, a little bit at a time with plenty of lead time is going to give us a much better result than cramming at the last minute. But the reason people don’t do this is because they don’t understand how important it is, one, to manage those internal triggers.
If you’re constantly thinking, “Ugh, that project is going to suck. I don’t really want to work on it. I don’t want to make those sales calls. I don’t want to make that presentation. I don’t want to do that thing that feels uncomfortable,” and you don’t have the tools to deal with that discomfort, you’re always going to procrastinate because fundamentally, procrastination is an emotion regulation problem. It’s not a character flaw. There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re not broken. It’s just that you don’t have the tools to deal with emotional discomfort and that’s the part that everybody skips over. So, we don’t want to talk about these uncomfortable feelings, but that’s where it has to start. And then, the part that people don’t do is actually planning out not the task itself, but the time to work on the task without distraction. That’s the part that if you can implement that step two that I talked about of making time for traction, that becomes a game changer.
Lenny: So, I’ve tried things like this where it’s here throughout the day, I’m going to try this, I’m going to do this and this, and I just don’t end up doing it. Things come up or I just get distracted. I’m like, whatever. I guess one question is how often do you find yourself doing the things you set out in your calendar? And then two, any other advice for actually staying on track and doing things you set out to?
Nir Eyal: Okay, so number one, did you have tools in place to deal with the discomfort? What did you do when you didn’t feel it?
Lenny: I did not. I did not have that surfing the wave and the ten-minute trick, and I’m curious if there’s other tricks in that bucket actually, but no, I did not.
Nir Eyal: Absolutely. Yeah. So, that’s the most important thing and that is the most important section. That’s why I put it at the front of the book because again, procrastination is an emotion regulation problem, and I think this is fascinating. Personally, I really wanted to dive deep and not only understand why do we not do what we say we’re going to do, but why do we do anything and everything? What is the seat of human motivation? And I think I didn’t understand it properly. I think most people don’t understand motivation properly. Doesn’t that blow your mind? If you think about it, “I know what to do. I agree, this is what needs to get done. I just don’t do it.” Isn’t that ridiculous? And by the way, this is not a new problem. Plato, 2500 years ago, the Greek philosopher talked about this very same problem. 2500 years before the internet, before social media, before all these things that we think are so distracting online, the Greek philosopher has had the same exact problem.
This is part of the human condition. It is part of our DNA that we constantly get distracted. But to me, that’s a fascinating mystery. Why is that? Well, if you look at the deeper question of why do we do anything and everything, the seat of human motivation most people think is about carrots and sticks. If you ask people, why do we do what we do? It’s about the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. Jeremy Bentham said something similar to this. Sigmund Freud called it the pleasure principle. Neurologically speaking, it’s not true. It’s not true. It’s not about the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. It’s not about carrots and sticks, but in fact, the carrot is the stick, okay? This is where I want to give you that matrix-like… Remember that scene, the Matrix, where there’s that kid with a spoon and the spoon starts bending and the kid says, “Imagine there is no spoon,” right?
Lenny: Absolutely.
Nir Eyal: Well, the carrot is the stick. What do I mean by that? We know that the only reason we do everything in anything from a neurological perspective is not about the pursuit of pleasure. It is all about the desire to escape discomfort. Everything you do, even the pursuit of pleasurable sensations, the carrot is the stick, because even wanting to feel good, craving, lusting, desire, hunger, that desire for something that feels good is itself psychologically destabilizing. The carrot is the stick. So, what that means, I think that’s incredibly empowering because what that means is that whenever we don’t do something, whenever we procrastinate, it’s just a feeling. It’s all it is. It’s just a feeling. And so, when we learn those tools, it doesn’t mean where I think people start intellectualizing it and thinking, “There must be something broken with me. Maybe you need a pill, maybe you need a treatment.”
Chances are there’s a ninety-nine percent chance, there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s simply that you don’t have these tools. So, that’s where we have to start, is absolutely understanding and applying these techniques so that when you feel that discomfort, you use that discomfort. What I found in my research writing this book is that high performers in every industry, business, the arts, sports, high performers, they feel the same internal triggers. They also feel lonely. They also feel bored. They also feel stressed. They also feel anxious, but they use that discomfort like a rocket fuel to propel them towards traction. Whereas what distractable people do, as soon as they feel uncomfortable, as soon as they feel bored, as soon as they feel lonesome, as soon as soon as they feel indecisive or stressed, boom, they’re escaping it with a drink, with a click, with something to take their mind off of that discomfort. So, that has to be step number one.
Lenny: That is fascinating. Basically, distraction is an emotional regulation problem. It’s the way you put it. What else works in helping you manage that discomfort? We’ve talked about this ten-minute trick, the timer, the surfing of the urge. What else is in that bucket of things I could try when I’m just like, “Nah, I’m just going to go check Twitter. I need to work on this thing, right now.”
Nir Eyal: Yeah, so there’s a bunch of different techniques you can use there in terms of the internal triggers. We can get into some of the more nitty-gritty techniques. There’s lots and lots of them. The most important thing here though is that once you have some in your toolkit that you want to try, let’s say it’s a ten-minute rule, it’s surfing the urge, there’s re-imagining the task, the temperament, all kinds of things that you can do. The next thing is to put it on your calendar, which we talked about briefly. So, let’s say you say, “Okay, I’ve got that time when I…” What did you say that you want to do, that you check email instead?
Lenny: Start on my newsletter post for the next week, or just continue.
Nir Eyal: To write it?
Lenny: Yeah, write it.
Nir Eyal: Okay. And did you have that in your calendar? That was part of the time punch-me-in-the-face-if-I-don’t-do-it kind of thing?
Lenny: That was back when I had a regular job. These days, it’s just, what I used to do is my first half of the day until 3:00 is just deep work time. I called it it’s-time-to-build time, and then 3:00 beyond is meetings. So, it was actually a huge block of time of focus time, but it was not subdivided by the things I wanted to do throughout the day.
Nir Eyal: I see. Okay. So, step two would be putting on your calendar, “I’m going to work on writing this newsletter for 30 minutes, 45 minutes, whatever amount of time.” Make it whatever is reasonable for you based on how long you think you can do it. Put that on your schedule. Okay? Step number three is hack back the external triggers. So, did you find that when you said I was going to work on writing this newsletter, was there anything in your external environment that was pinging, dinging, kids, pets, spouse, anything like that?
Lenny: It’s interesting that now that you say that, just that fact that only 10% of distractions are from that. So, it makes me, on the one hand, I recognize that most of the time, there’s not a thing pulling me to Twitter, LinkedIn, or whatever. Most of the time, it’s just like, that’s probably something interesting going on. But there’s definitely times when I see a little badge or my little phone gets a little push or yeah, my wife’s with a kid in the distance. I’m like, “Oh, let’s go check out what’s happening there.”
Nir Eyal: Yeah. So, that’s where we want to hack back. So, the reason I use the term hack. To hack something is to gain unauthorized access. Someone hacks into your bank account or hacks into your database. We know that these technologies are gaining unauthorized access to our attention span when they’re constantly pinging and dinging us. So, there’s some very simple things you can do. Setting a schedule in advance so that your device turns off as it goes to do-not-disturb during certain times of the day or before you begin this task, before you start writing, you make sure to turn on do-not-disturb, so that there’s nothing in your way. On my desktop, I have a do-not-disturb set from midnight to 11:59 all the time. It’s constantly on do-not-disturb because I don’t want these constant notifications disturbing me when I’m doing focus work.
So, making sure that that’s on. When it comes to, many of us work from home today, so making sure that your family knows when the time is that you are indistractable. And I’ll give you one tip. I know you have a baby at home, but soon, that baby is going to be a toddler. And so, one thing that we did in my household is that my wife went to Amazon and she got what we call the concentration crown. And the concentration crown is just this little wreath thing that she wears. It looks like a little princess thing. It has little LED lights. It lights up. There’s a picture of it in the book. And when my daughter was only six years old, we told her, “Look, whenever mommy is wearing the concentration crown, that means that she can’t be interrupted and she will be with you within 30 minutes.”
So, her time block was always no more than 30 minutes. So, we said, “We will be with you within 30 minutes. Please don’t interrupt unless you’re bleeding. Okay? If you’re bleeding, you can interrupt us, but unless you’re bleeding,” this is when my daughter was only six years old. She could find something to do. It’s okay for kids to be bored time to time, but as long as mommy was wearing the concentration crown that told her, and by the way, me, as her significant other, as her husband, worked really, really well because I would always interrupt her and say, “Hey Julie, can I ask you this one thing?” And she was working on her computer, but I didn’t know whether she was listening to a podcast or a video or doing work that needed concentration. So, hacking back those external triggers, making sure that they don’t gain unauthorized access by interrupting the interruption, whether it’s with your kids, your colleagues.
So, every copy of indistractable has this little pull-out piece of paper, this piece of card stock that you fold into thirds and you put on your computer monitor. Okay, it’s this big red sign on your computer monitor that says, “I’m indistractable at the moment. Please come back later.” Now you can say, “Well, why don’t I just put on headphones and my colleagues will know I’m not to be interrupted?” Yeah, but then they think you’re putzing around, playing video games or something on your machine, as opposed to if you say, “No, I’m doing focused work right now, please come back later,” you’re making it acceptable to not constantly be interrupted. You’re making it okay culturally appropriate to work without distractions. So, those are just some ways that you can hack back those external triggers.
Lenny:
For avoiding distractions, triggers, pushes, all that stuff, is there any tools you recommend? I imagine, this is a lot of people are thinking. Is there like a way to block Twitter?
Nir Eyal: Yeah, absolutely. So, that’s a perfect lead-in to step number four. So, we talked about step one, master internal triggers, make time for traction, hack back the external triggers. We just talked about step number three. Step number four is preventing distraction with pacts. So with pacts, there’s three kinds of pacts. We have a price pact, where there’s some kind of financial disincentive to go off track. So, this is where we talked about earlier. You’re making some kind of bet. We could talk about how I got into shape for the first time in my life using something like this. How I finished the book using something like this. That’s a price pact. There’s an identity pact, which is very, very impactful, which is what you’re doing is you’re forming a personal identity. So, this comes out of the psychology of religion where we know that people who call themselves a certain moniker. For example, if you say you’re a devout Muslim, you’re not debating whether you should have a gin and tonic because devout Muslims don’t drink.
If you say I’m a vegan or vegetarian, a vegetarian doesn’t wake up in the morning and say, “Hmm, I wonder if I should have a bacon sandwich for breakfast.” No, they are vegetarian. That is who they are. So, that’s why the book is called Indistractable. Indistractable Is meant to sound like indestructible. It is your identity, it is who you are. And so, is it any different for someone to say, “You know what? I’m sorry I don’t check every ping and ding every 30 seconds. I’m Indistractable. Or, “You know what? If we’re going to have a meal together, if we’re going to sit down and have lunch together, I want to have that lunch free of distractions. So, can we put away our phones?” Is that any different from someone who says, “I have particular dietary preferences,” or, “I have a particular religious garb?”
No, maybe it’s not the norm. Maybe it’s a minority of people who do that. But that’s what I think it’s going to take for the world to become indistractable, is that more of us show how great of a life we can have when we have some of these principles and make it part of our identity. And then the third pact is what’s called an effort pact. And this gets into your question around what kind of tools we can use. An effort pact is where there’s some kind of friction, some kind of effort that you need to take in order to get distracted. So, as the last line of defense, that’s why this is the fourth step, the last line of defense, the firewall against distraction is making sure that you keep yourself in just as much as we keep distractions out. So, I’ll give you a personal story here. I don’t don’t know if this is a family show. Is it okay if I talk about my sex life a little bit?
Lenny: Absolutely. Let’s talk and get into it.
Nir Eyal: It’s not as exciting as it might sound. I’ve been married for twenty-two years now. My wife and I found that we weren’t being as intimate as we used to be. And this was when I first started writing the book. And part of the problem was that every night, we would go to bed and she would be fondling her iPhone and I would be caressing my iPad. And we weren’t being intimate because we were busy playing with our devices as opposed to each other. And so, I started doing this research around Indistractable and I learned about this technique around making an effort pact. And so, what we did, I went to the hardware store and I bought us this $10 outlet timer and this outlet timer, anything you plug into it will turn on or off at a particular time of day or night, whatever you set.
And so, in my household, until this very day, every night at 10:00 P.M., my internet router shuts off. So, what does that do? We know that every night, 10:00 P.M., the internet router’s going to shut off. So, my daughter knows, my wife knows, I know. I got to get everything done that I need to do online because the internet’s going to shut off. Now, could I turn the internet back on? Of course, I could. I could tether, I could go pull out the router and replug it in, but that takes effort. And so, what I’ve done is if all else fails, if the internal triggers, making time for traction, hacking back, if all else fails, I’ve inserted a bit of mindfulness in something that I used to be mindless about. Now, I have to ask myself, “Wait a minute. Do I really need to go all that trouble of replugging and unplugging my router or should I do what I said I was going to do, which is get to bed on time and maybe be intimate with my wife?”
It’s made a world of difference and I’ll tell you honestly, Lenny. Now after a few years of doing this, it’s become part of our routine. We all know bedtime’s at 10:00 P.M. That’s when we need to start getting ready for bed. The internet router’s going to shut off. We actually don’t even need this anymore because it’s become part of our routine. So, that’s one very cheap tool anyone can use as part of this effort pact. Another thing that I use almost every day, my daughter uses it as well, is this wonderful app called Forest. Do you know Forest?
Lenny: No.
Nir Eyal: It’s awesome. So, here’s the way Forest works. So, it’s this cute little app here. I can show it to you. I’ll pull it up. And the way Forest works is when you say you’re going to do focused work time, you plug in how much work time you want. So, let’s say I’m going to do 40 minutes of focused work time. There’s that cute little virtual tree that’s planted on my screen as soon as I hit go and if I pick up my phone and I do anything with it, that cute little virtual tree gets cut down. It’s just a small reminder to say, “Yep, that’s not what you said you were going to do right now. You said you were going to work with that distraction. Here, you are picking up your phone.” It reminds you, this is not what you said you were going to do. So, it inserts that bit of friction, that bit of effort. Another, you asked for more tools. Another product I love is called Focusmate. Have you tried Focusmate?
Lenny: Is that the one where they match you with somebody and you’re kind of working, watching each other work?
Nir Eyal: Yes, exactly. It’s like a chat roulette without the dirty bits. So, I love this company so much, I actually invested in it. So basically, what you do is you go online, you look at this calendar and you pick a time when you want to do focused work. So, one of my issues used to be getting started. Once I got started, I was good, but getting started 8:00 A.M., I kind of like what you were saying with this cold start problem. So, what it does is it gives you this pact, again, this pre-commitment you’re making with another person, “Okay, 8:00 A.M., I’m going to be there. And if you don’t show up, you’re going to get a bad review.” So, it binds you to another person to build this effort pact to say, “I will be here at that time.” You say, “Okay, what are you working on? What am I working on? All right, go.” And for that entire time box, you work without distraction. And just seeing that other person who’s also working without distraction is a wonderful way to bind you into what you said you were going to do.
So, those are just a few tools. There’s many, many others.
Lenny: Amazing. Okay, so let me actually try to just list out all the things you’ve shared so far and it’s going to be across all the four steps and then I’m going to follow up on a couple things here. So, here’s my notes. One is this idea of just set a ten-minute timer and just tell yourself, “I am going to work on something that I really want to work on right now for 10 minutes and that’s all I’m going to do.” And while you’re doing that, surf the urge, you’re going to feel like you don’t, but just surf it and feel it and be aware that this is difficult. The calendaring of your day, that feels like a fundamental part of your approach is just figure out what you want to do during the day. Ahead of time, put it on the calendar. So, your to-do list is your calendar, essentially.
There’s this whole idea of pacts. You shared a bunch of different pact ideas, there’s like I’ll pay you a lot of money if I don’t do this. There’s this Wi-Fi. Okay. And then I guess that translates into some of these other things. The Wi-Fi killer device, the Forest app, the Focusmate app and product. And then there’s a few other things you shared. Just do not disturb, like set a timer so that during the day, you have do-not-disturb on during set times. For you, it’s all the time, which I try to do, too. And then obviously, let your wife through important contacts and then make your family aware of when you’re going to be working so that they know not to bother you. Maybe this concentration crown.
Nir Eyal: Yeah.
Lenny: Okay. Before we move on to a different topic, I’d love to spend a little more time in that first bucket because it feels like your point is so important that most of our distraction is this emotional regulation and we just don’t like discomfort. And so, I’m curious what else you could teach me and teach people about getting better at managing that emotion. Are there any other tactics in that bucket that might be useful?
Nir Eyal: Absolutely. So, there’s three big buckets in terms of mastering these internal triggers. We can reimagine the task, reimagine the trigger, and reimagine our temperament. And so, maybe I can give you one big tip I think that I discovered when it came to reimagining our temperament. If we think about our temperament as these immutable qualities, as the attributes of our personality, we have to be very careful about what kind of identity and what kind of limitations we let in to our psyche. And I’ll give you a good example of this. So, a few years ago, there was this line of research around what’s called ego depletion. Ego depletion is this idea that willpower is a depletable resource. And you saw some researchers doing studies that seem to suggest that willpower was something that you run out of, that for me, I would come home after a long day of work and I’d say, “Oh, I’m out of willpower. I’m ‘spent’, there’s nothing else I can do. Give me that pint of Ben and Jerry’s. I’m going to sit in front of the TV because I’m spent. There’s no more willpower left.”
And some of these studies seem to suggest there was this phenomenon except the problem became that in the social sciences when something sounds a little fishy, when it sounds too good to be true, the scientific process dictates that we should rerun those studies. And it turns out that these studies around ego depletion could not replicate. We couldn’t find the effect. And so, there was one exception to this and that exception was in a study done by Carol Dweck, she’s one of my research heroes. She wrote the book Mindset, you’re probably familiar with, and she did a fascinating study where she found that ego depletion does actually exist, but only for one group of people.
Who was that group of people? It turns out that the only people who really did run out of willpower the way you would run out of charge in a battery were people who believed that willpower was a limited resource. And so, this is super, super important to not let ourselves be influenced by these ridiculous notions, these beliefs that somehow we are impaired, that we are limited, that we’re addicted. That’s a really popular one, that we’re all addicted, we’re all unable to control these behaviors. That is not true. And in fact, it’s only true if you believe it is true. So, it should be part of our practice to tell ourselves we are indistractable. Indistractable is meant to sound like indestructible. It’s meant to sound like a superpower. So, repeating to yourself that you’re not limited, it’s just about your actions. It’s not a moral failing. It’s not something wrong with you. It’s not that technologies are doing it to you. It’s simply a series of behaviors that we have to practice.
Lenny: I really like that. That’s a theme that comes up a lot on this podcast is people that feel like they’re responsible for their situation, they didn’t cause it, but they’re still responsible. It is their responsibility to deal with it, end up being more successful. And there’s this idea of just being high agency.
Nir Eyal: So, one of the things that I think is important to remember here is that there’s a lot of things that the individual can do. I think there’s a lot of things that we can do within a company or an organization, as well, that we can make our workplace indestructible. But then I think there’s some things that we can do on a societal level, and these are called social antibodies. That social antibodies are when society spreads norms or manners that help us overcome otherwise antisocial or destructive behaviors. And so, the good news is that we have been here before with something far more harmful and far more addictive than social media or technology distractions. If you think back to the 1980s, I was a child of the ’80s. I remember the ’80s very well, and I remember when I was growing up, we had ashtrays in our living room.
In fact, everyone I knew had ashtrays in their living room. And today, that sounds crazy. You couldn’t imagine walking into someone’s home and lighting up a cigarette. If someone did that to you, that would be crazy. No one would do that today. Well, why? Why did that happen? Why would it be so incredibly rude to just walk into someone’s home and light up a cigarette? Well, because there wasn’t a law that said that that was illegal, someone’s private residence. What changed was that we have new norms, new manners around how to behave when it comes to these destructive behaviors. So, I remember when my mom took away those ashtrays in our living room and she threw them away, and one day, one of her friends came over and took out a pact of cigarettes and was about to light a cigarette. My mom said, “No, no, no, no, I’m sorry. We are nonsmokers.”
You see, she had this now and that she used to describe herself. She described herself as a nonsmoker. If you’d like to smoke, if you’d kindly go outside. And of course, that’s the norm today. But it took great people like my mom to go against the trend for these antisocial behaviors. So, I think the same thing is going to happen when it comes to becoming indistractable. Frankly, with or without my book, my book was intended to accelerate this process, but we’re going to do this naturally because what humans do throughout history when it comes to figuring out how to use a technology well is that we adapt and we adopt. We adapt to the technology by forming new behaviors, new norms. So, just like my mom said, “Hey, we are nonsmokers. That’s my identity. I’m a nonsmoker. If you’d like to smoke, you’re going to have to go outside.”
We need to be comfortable with saying, “Hey, we are indistractable.” If someone sits down with you across the table and you’re having a nice conversation, they take out their funny, say, “Hey, hey, if we’re going to have a conversation, let’s be here both in body and mind.” That means putting these devices outside of meetings. If we’re going to have a business meeting or a personal meeting, we’re going to declare these no-phone zones because that’s who we are. We want to be indistractable. So, we adopt these new behaviors and we see that happening already. And then we adapt to these behaviors, I should say, with these new norms. And then we adopt new technologies that help us fight the bad aspects of the last generation of technology, and that’s what we have always done.
In fact, right now, there’s an explosion of tech companies that are making a lot of money. A lot of these apps and startups are making money with tools to help fix the last generation of technology. And so, there’s all kinds of tools listed in my book from Forest and Focusmate, all kinds of tools that can help us put technology in its place, ironically enough, with new and better technology.
Lenny: You’ve touched on this point that I want to come back to around how you’re not as confident that we’re as addicted to technology and apps as we think, and I think that’s really important. I’m excited to chat about it. Before we get there, I wanted to chat and follow this thread essentially of becoming Indistractable at work and building a company essentially that helps your teammates become less distractable. What advice would you give to leaders at companies to help employees at the company have better focus, essentially?
Nir Eyal: A lot of folks that I’ve worked with in the past have said, “Look, I can become indistractable. I follow these four steps, fantastic. I’m indistractable. But what if my company’s not indistractable? How do I help other people become indistractable? Or what if my boss is not indistractable and they’re constantly asking me and pinging and dinging me for stuff and I’m not able to do my best work? So, what do I do about that?” So, there’s a whole section in the book on how to build an indistractable workplace. And what I discovered was in the research in writing this book is that indistractable companies have three traits. And so, the first trait is that Indistractable companies provide employees with what’s called psychological safety. This comes out of the research from Amy Edmondson at the Harvard Business School. And what she discovered was truly that companies have to provide employees with psychological safety.
Meaning, if you can’t talk about a problem, if you can’t raise your hand and say, “Hey, you know what? I’m just not able to do my best work when I’m constantly expected to reply to every email, to every notification, every 30 seconds. I can’t do my best work.” If you can’t talk about this problem, that is the problem. As I like to say, distraction is a symptom of dysfunction. Distraction is a symptom of dysfunction. And when it comes to the workplace, if you don’t give employees that psychological safety to say, “Hey, how do we deal with this problem just like any other problem?” That in fact is a problem. It’s not the technology, it’s the fact that you can’t get together and talk about this problem without fear of somebody thinking, “Oh, you’re lazy,” or, “You don’t want to be on call,” or, “You’re expecting other people to work for you.”
No, that’s not the issue at all. It’s simply that we need to formulate how to fix this problem just like any other business challenge. The second trait is employees need a forum to talk about this problem. So, in researching this book, I ask people, what’s the most distracting technology? What technology in the workplace do you find to be most distracting? The number two was some kind of group messaging service, and Slack was mentioned the most number of times. By the way, number one was email. Number two was some kind of group messaging platform, and Slack was mentioned the most often. And so, I went to visit Slack headquarters. I went to go see my friend Amir, who used to work there at the time, and I knocked on the door and I expected to see a company that was incredibly distracted because if it was the technology that was the source of the problem, nobody uses Slack more than Slack.
They should be the most distracted company on earth. But that’s not what I found at all because Slack, in fact, embodied these three attributes. They gave people psychological safety. They gave people a forum to talk about these problems. How did they do that? They actually created Slack channels at Slack. They had one Slack channel called Beef Tweets, and Beef Tweets was a channel where people could talk about their beef with a company. And it wasn’t that necessarily management had to fix every problem. That’s not the point. It’s that they had to acknowledge that employee’s voices were being heard. And how did they do that? Surprisingly enough, they did it with emoji. So, when a problem that an employee mentioned was fixed, they sent the green check mark emoji, but if it was a problem that maybe couldn’t be fixed, but what they wanted to acknowledge that management had seen it, they would send the eyes emoji.
And so, the important thing here is to give employees some kind of forum. It could be a Slack channel, it could be another case study in the book is the Boston Consulting Group, which I used to work at. They’ve gone from one of the most distractable companies to today. They’re ranked as one of the best places to work in America. They have these meetings where they talk about PTO, predictable time off. And so, they completely changed that organizational culture by following these steps, as well. The last, the third attribute, which is the most important of the three, is that management must exemplify what it means to be indistractable because culture is like water. It flows downhill. And so, people will look to management to see how they behave, and they will act in accordance with those expectations. So, at Slack Company headquarters, in the company canteen, it says in bright pink letters, it says, “Work hard and go home.”
Work hard and go home. That is not something you would expect to see at a hard charging Silicon Valley startup, but that’s what you see there because everybody in the company, this was before the acquisition. I don’t know what it’s like now, but when I wrote the book, this was certainly the case that everybody from Stewart Butterfield on down, the CEO on down, believed that to do people’s best work, they had to work without distraction. So, if you use Slack on nights and weekends, you were told, “That’s not what we do here.” You were reprimanded because that was not part of the company culture. So, it’s really those three traits, psychological safety, a form to talk about these problems, and management has to exemplify what it means to be indistractable.
Lenny: I want to move to a different topic, but before we do, is there one thing or maybe two things that a listener can do, say today or tomorrow or this week, that would make it significant dent on their ability to focus and avoid distraction?
Nir Eyal: I would say understanding these four steps of master the internal triggers, make time for traction, hack back the external triggers, and preventing distraction with pacts. If you can do one small thing in each of those four strategies, one small thing, that’s a wonderful, wonderful first step. You don’t have to do everything in the book. I’m giving you many of different options, but one small thing in each of those categories is huge. Now, when it comes to the workplace, one of the benefits of making a time box calendar is that you have a physical artifact. You have something that you can print out and show to other people. And so, I hear this a lot when it comes to people who say, “Okay, I’m indistractable but my boss isn’t, what do I do? I’m constantly ping and ding from my boss. How do I get control over my time?”
Here’s what you do. This is called schedule syncing or managing your manager. Here’s what happens. You print out your calendar or you show it to them on your screen, and you say, “Hey boss, I need 10 minutes with you, Monday morning. Is that okay? Can I get 10 minutes with you?” And now, what you’re going to do is you’re going to show them your time box calendar for your working hours. You’re going to say, “Okay, boss, you see here’s my time for email. Here’s my time for that meeting you asked me to go to. Here’s time for that big project I’m working on. Now, you see this other piece of paper? Okay, you see this other list here? This is a list of things you’ve asked me to do that I’m having trouble fitting into my calendar.” So, what I’m helping you do here is avoiding the worst piece of personal productivity advice.
The worst piece of personal productivity advice is if you want to be better at time management, you need to learn how to say no. What kind of stupid advice is that? Only a tenured professor who can’t get fired would give you that kind of stupid advice. If you tell your boss no, you’re going to get fired, that’s dumb. You don’t tell your boss no, you ask your boss to help you prioritize. That is your boss’ most important job is to prioritize. So, you’re not saying no. You’re saying, “Here’s my calendar. Here’s this list of stuff you’ve asked me to do. Help me prioritize.” And here’s what’s going to happen. Your boss is going to look at your calendar and say, “You know what? That meeting, you really don’t need to be at that meeting. But that thing on that piece of paper that you listed over here, that’s way more important. Can you swap that out?”
And let me tell you, I’ve started three companies. I’ve sold two so far, and bosses, your manager will worship the ground you walk on because we’re all wondering, “What is it that you’re doing?” And I know we have to trust our employees, et cetera, et cetera. Yes. But we’re still wondering, “Hey, that thing that you said was going to be done isn’t done. Why not? How are you spending your time?” So, if you can proactively sit down with your boss so that they understand how you are spending your time, and again, this takes maybe 10 minutes, you do this schedule sync process that not only works really well in the workplace, it also works really well at home. So, my wife and I used to have conflicts over who’s going to pick up our daughter, and why didn’t you take out the trash? And we would have these conflicts because we didn’t synchronize our schedules.
Well, now, we take maybe five minutes a week. Sunday evening, we sit down together. Let me look at your schedule. Let me look at my schedule. “Okay, now we’re synchronized. It’s amazing.” We prevent so many conflicts just by doing this simple schedule sync process.
Lenny: I love that advice. I recommend a very similar approach to people to align with their managers. Basically, I call it managing up. And the way I describe it, manager taught me this is, I call it prioritizing and communicating. You could prioritize and not communicate, and your manager would be like, “What the hell? Why didn’t you do this thing?” It’s, “I prioritized. I never told you. Here’s where I put it on my list.” Or you could just communicate like, “No,” and that doesn’t work as you said. The best combination is just like, “Here’s what I’m doing, here’s why I will prioritize this and let me know what you think. Would you agree? You want to move it up? You want to move it down?”
Nir Eyal: Exactly. And how much input. We always talk about one of the reasons I hate to-do lists is because to-do lists are just a register of output. It’s the stuff you want to have done, but you can’t have output without input. If you go to a baker, let’s say it’s your kid’s birthday party and say, “Hey, I want two dozen cupcakes.” Well, the baker’s going to say, “Okay, I need flour, I need sugar, I need butter. I need all these inputs in order to make the output.” But somehow when it comes to knowledge work, we just add more and more outputs without considering the input. What is the input for knowledge work? It’s only two things. It’s your time and your attention. That’s it. Your time and your attention. So, in order to get the output, we have to think about the input, which is why the schedule syncing and time boxing is so important. Again, that’s something that a to-do list can never give you.
Lenny: Awesome. Okay. For our last topic, I wanted to spend some time on Hooked, which I think could be its own podcast. That could be a whole other episode of your first book that did really well. And essentially, this book, Hooked, is about teaching people how to get people hooked on their product. I know that you have this very contrarian perspective on, are we actually addicted to technology? Is it hurting mental health? All these things. So, this is contrarian corner. I’d love to hear your perspective on just, why is it that we’re not as hooked on social media and technology as people think?
Nir Eyal: Yeah. Okay, so there’s a lot there. So, let me explain what Hooked was for compared to Indistractable. So, Hooked is about how do we build habit-forming products for good. And so, the idea there was that I think we need to use more of these techniques when it comes to healthy behaviors. We want people to get hooked to a language learning app. Duolingo, one of my former clients. That’s a great thing that they found ways to get people hooked to learning a new language compared to the way we used to learn languages. Getting people hooked to exercise. One of the case studies in Hooked is Fitbot, which is an app that helps people form these habits around exercise. Getting hooked to a personal finance app to help you save money, getting hooked to enterprise software. That’s all great, right? If it helps you become more productive, helps you live a happier, healthier life, that’s wonderful.
So, nobody’s worried about people getting addicted to enterprise SaaS. That’s not an issue. So, the vast majority of products out there, they’re not worried about addicting anyone. The real problem the vast majority of businesses out there have is that nobody cares. They have a wonderful product that could really improve people’s lives, but people aren’t using it. And so, it’s really about how do you get people to keep coming back to your product or service, not because they have to, but because they want to. And so, what essentially I do at Hooked is steal the secrets of these Silicon Valley giants. I literally ripped out their psychology to understand what makes their products work so well, so that everybody in every conceivable industry that is devoted to improving people’s lives can use those habits for good. So, that’s what Hooked is for. So, if Hooked is about good habits, Indistractable is about how do we break bad habits, but for different products, we want to build a good habit with the exercise app, with these SaaS app, with the good habits, and we also want to break the bad habits.
So, that’s the two sides of the same coin. They’re not negations, they’re complements. And I think I am uniquely qualified to write both these books because I know these techniques work and I know where they don’t work. And I can tell you, having written Hooked, these techniques are very good. They’re very effective. They’re not that good. This isn’t mind control. We’re not hijacking people’s brains. And there’s a lot of people out there, a lot of tech critics have made a lot of money and gotten a lot of speaking gigs over scaring the crap out of people because people love that stuff. I was a journalism co-major in college, and the first rule of journalism is if it bleeds, it leads. So, you can get a lot more attention and a lot more press, a lot more invites to Ted Talks if you tell people, “Technology is melting your brain, it’s super evil. Let’s shut it all down.”
This is the classic chicken little story. People love that stuff. The truth is much more nuanced, but nobody likes nuance. Nobody likes the answer to every complex question, which is always the same. “It depends. It depends.” For some people, overusing technology is a real problem. So, for people who are pathologically addicted, that can be very harmful because, what is the definition of addiction? An addiction is a compulsive dependency on a behavior or substance that harms the user. Now, that’s about 3% to 5% of the population is pathologically addicted, but we toss out this word addiction all the time. Everything’s addictive. My wife ordered a shoes from DSW, and on the box it says, “Danger, addictive contents inside.” It’s shoes, people. Shoes. And so, what we have done by pathologizing, by medicalizing this behavior is that now, everything’s an addiction. “Oh, you like playing Candy Crush? It’s addictive. You like social media. It’s addictive.”
No, it’s not addictive to everyone. No more than saying, “Hey, a lot of people have a glass of wine with dinner, but not everyone’s an alcoholic. So, why do we think everyone who uses social media is addicted?” They’re not. But we love that terminology. We love it. Why? Because even the word addiction comes from the Latin addictio, which means slave. So, it’s much easier to tell ourselves, “I’m enslaved. My brain is being hijacked. My focus is being stolen. It’s all Silicon Valley’s fault.” As opposed to saying, “Wait a minute, this isn’t really a distraction.” I’m sorry. “It’s not really an addiction, it’s a distraction,” because then now I have personal responsibility. Now, I have to do something about it. That’s no fun. Can I just blame somebody? But for the vast majority of people, save the people who are actually pathologically addicted, which by the way, I do think we need special protections for. If you’re not a child who I do think we need special protections for, and you’re not pathologically addicted, this is a personal responsibility issue that thankfully, all of us can overcome if we have the right tools.
Lenny: Wow, this is quite the contrarian juicy corner. I wish we had more time to dig into all this stuff. So, basically, I checked Twitter a lot. I checked my phone a lot. You’re saying that essentially, don’t call it addiction. I’m just finding more things to get distracted by to push away from all these uncomfortable emotions that I’m feeling doing hard work.
Nir Eyal: That’s exactly right. And again, it doesn’t mean it’s your fault, but it is your responsibility as we talked about earlier, because who else’s responsibility is it? We love these simple narratives. We love these simple stories of something bad is happening, so this is the bad guy. Well, sometimes the bad guy is also us, or at least we have a role to play in taking responsibility for this stuff. And so, if it was something that is insurmountable, if something you can’t do anything about, for example, children, I think children are a protected class. My fifteen-year-old can’t walk into a bar and order a gin and tonic. She can’t walk into a casino and start playing blackjack. She’s not ready for that. So, I do think we need regulations to protect children. I think we also need protections around people who are actually pathologically addicted.
If you know people are getting addicted to your product, you do have an ethical responsibility. And I’ve written about this for the past 10 years now about specific legislation that I think we need around what’s called a use and abuse policy for people who are pathologically addicted. But for 95% of us, it’s not an addiction. It’s something we can absolutely take control over if we want to and if we have the right tools.
Lenny: Very interesting food for thoughts. Before we get to our very exciting lightning round, is there anything else that you want to share or leave listeners with?
Nir Eyal: There’s a wonderful quote that I really love from Paulo Coelho who said that, “A mistake repeated more than once is a decision.” A mistake repeated more than once is a decision, such a great quote. And I think it’s time that we realize that if we are not doing something about this problem, we are deciding to be distractable. The difference between an indistractable person and a distractable person is that an indistractable person says, “Ah, okay, I see what you did to me there. I see I got distracted. I’m not going to let it happen again.” How many times can we get distracted by social media, by whatever, before we say, “Okay, I’m going to take steps today to prevent getting distracted tomorrow”? That’s what defines an indistractable person. So, if you really want to summarize my work in Indistractable into one Mantra, it’s that the antidote for impulsiveness is forethought. The antidote for impulsiveness is forethought. Fundamentally, distraction is an impulse control issue. That’s all it is, and it’s a skill like any other.
We learn skills. Why do we expect that we should just be born with this innate skill to fight distraction? It’s a skill like any other. And so, the antidote for impulsiveness is forethought. If we plan ahead, if we know that we’re going to take steps a day to prevent getting distracted tomorrow, there’s no distraction we can’t overcome.
Lenny: I love it. I love the message of empowerment and agency. I feel like that’s so applicable to product management and a lot of the people that listen to this podcast. And just another example of that even though the world is making life more difficult for us, potentially, you could still do something about it. And I really like just the general message that you can do something about it. With that, we’ve reached a very exciting lightning round. Are you ready?
Nir Eyal: I am ready.
Lenny: All right. What are two or three books you’ve recommended most to other people?
Nir Eyal: There’s this book called Alchemy by Rory Sutherland that I love. It’s a fantastic book. It delves into the psychology of various experiences. So, highly recommend that. And I’m reading a book right now, actually. It’s all myself right here called The Experience Machine by Andy Clark, which I’m really enjoying.
Lenny: What is a favorite recent movie or TV show that you’ve really enjoyed?
Nir Eyal: Okay, so it’s not very recent, but it’s one of my all time favorite movies that nobody’s seen, which is Empire of the Sun. Have you ever seen Empire of the Sun?
Lenny: Nope.
Nir Eyal: Okay, you got to see it. So, one of my favorite movies, it has Christian Bale in it when he was only, I think, 12 or 13 years old. Steven Spielberg was the director, John Malkovich stars in it. Unbelievable movie that for some reason nobody saw. So, if you’re a Christian Bale fan, which I am, I think he’s a fantastic actor, Empire of the Sun, classic, awesome movie.
Lenny: Do you have a favorite interview question that you like to ask people when you’re hiring them for a job?
Nir Eyal: I’m not a big fan of interviews in general. I’m a huge fan of small projects. So, what I’ll oftentimes do is pay people to do a small project and then I can see their work output. I find that that works much, much better than any question I can come up with.
Lenny: Awesome. A few other people have mentioned that exact idea, especially at a company. I think about Linea, where they pay people to do a little project within their company. They’re kind of like contractors for the company for a little bit.
Nir Eyal: Yeah.
Lenny: Is there a favorite product you’ve recently discovered that you really love, whether it’s an app or something physical?
Nir Eyal: I went to Japan a few months ago and I just became obsessed with all things Japanese, and so I bought a hundred different little gadgets that helped me make Japanese food at home. So, I had this little sesame grinder thing. The Japanese are so good at making devices for everything, so I would just put this under the general bucket of everything Japanese.
Lenny: I use Muji pens, which is an amazing Japanese brand. They’re just like…
Nir Eyal: Yes, we have Muji. Yes, exactly. I have some of those, as well. They’re great.
Lenny: Go Japan. Do you have a favorite life motto that you often come back to or share with friends, either at work or life, that you find really useful?
Nir Eyal: So, I do have several mantras that I repeat to myself daily. One of those is my life purpose. My purpose in life is to explain the world so that it can be made better. Now, that might not apply to everyone. That’s my personal life motto. It kind of just helps me recenter and refocus my purpose for living, which is to serve others, to make the world a better place. And the way I do that is to explain the world so that it can be made better. So, of course, that’s not going to apply to everyone, but I do think there is something very useful about sitting down and saying, “Wait, what is the purpose of my life?” And so, for me, having that mantra, which I literally repeat every single day as like a little prayer, I’m very secular. I don’t believe in anything supernatural, but I think there’s a lot of wisdom to be adopted from the practices of organized religion, and one of those is this secular prayer reminding me of my purpose.
Lenny: I love that. Final question. You wrote a book about building habits. What’s your best and worst habit these days?
Nir Eyal: This is tricky. So, I think the reason I’m struggling answering this is because there’s a difference between habits and routines and a lot of things that people think are habits are not really habits. So, I was going to say exercise. I used to be clinically obese and now I exercise. But that’s not technically a habit because it’s not done with little or no conscious thought. It’s a routine, but I think that’s probably one of my best routines is that I’ve finally, for the first time in my life, really gotten into physical fitness. I have maybe not quite a six-pack, but maybe like a four-pack at forty-five years old. I’m pretty proud of that and I’m not saying that to brag. I’m saying it as a testimony to the fact that when you say you’re going to do something and actually do it, how wonderful that feels.
Just live your life with intent. I’m not athletic. I never was athletic. I still don’t really like exercise, but I do it and I eat right because I say I will. So, I think that’s probably my best routine and probably my worst habit is that I still feel these impulses. If the definition of a habit is an impulse to do or behavior with little or no conscious thought, you better well damn believe that I feel the impulse to check Instagram for a quick minute or to look at this. I still feel that. I think the difference is that now, I know I’m going to feel those. I know that’s part of my daily experience, and I have those practices in place so that they don’t get the best of me.
Lenny: Just along those lines, something I was going to ask but I forgot is, how often do you not do the things you had in your calendar? What percentage of the things don’t get done the way you planned?
Nir Eyal: So, when things change dramatically, then I tend to fall off track. So, the first time, if I make a big change in my calendar, I’m much more likely to fall off track. The more I can go from week to week with small parts of my calendar changing, the more I’ll get to a hundred percent doing what I say I’m going to do. But I would say on average, once I have, I pretty much have my more or less calendar set for the week. I would say maybe 10% of the tasks I’ll go a little too late on or I’ll start, but then of course the idea is to make sure that doesn’t happen again next time.
But there is, of course, some wiggle room. So, when that might happen, let’s say it’s 10% of the time I go off track, well then I’ll say, “You know what? I put in too much time for writing. An hour of writing is too much. Maybe I should just start with 45 minutes. Let’s see if I can do that block. I’ll adjust it a little bit because I got other stuff that I want to take care of.” So, it’s those small adjustments within day-to-day, whereas before I wrote Indistractable, it was all kinds of stuff. It was half the day that I would go off track.
Lenny: Amazing. I was going to ask what it was like beforehand. Nir, I think we delivered on our promise. There’s at least a dozen very tactical things you can do to become more indistractable and to focus better. Thank you so much for being here. Two final questions. Where can folks learn more about the stuff you’re doing? Where do they buy your book? Where they learn more about the things you can do for them? And then finally, how can listeners be sold to you?
Nir Eyal: I appreciate it. Thanks. So, my website is nirandfar.com. That’s spelled like my first name, nirandfar.com. And my two books, Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products and Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life, and they’re available wherever books are sold and what you can do for me, become indistractable. Honestly, I don’t care if you buy the book. If you can adopt some of these practices and help change this mindset that we’re all victims, that we’re being hijacked because of the tech companies. If you can start putting the word out there that this is something that has improved your life in some small way and tell others about it, this is how we start spreading those social antibodies, just like my mom did around smoking. I think we should all do the same.
Lenny: I am going to be working on that as soon as we get off. Nir, thank you so much for being here.
Nir Eyal: Thank you.
Lenny: Bye everyone.
Thank you so much for listening. If you found this valuable, you can subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app. Also, please consider giving us a rating or leaving a review as that really helps other listeners find the podcast. You can find all past episodes or learn more about the show at lennyspodcast.com. See you in the next episode.
Glossary
| English | 中文 |
|---|---|
| 10-minute rule | 十分钟法则(10-minute rule) |
| adapt and adopt | 适应和采纳(adapt and adopt) |
| Alchemy | 《炼金术》(书名) |
| Amy Edmondson | Amy Edmondson(哈佛商学院教授,心理安全感研究先驱) |
| Andy Clark | 安迪·克拉克 |
| Beef Tweets | Beef Tweets(Slack 内部的员工吐槽频道) |
| Boston Consulting Group | 波士顿咨询集团(Boston Consulting Group) |
| Carol Dweck | Carol Dweck(斯坦福大学心理学家,Mindset 作者) |
| Christian Bale | 克里斯蒂安·贝尔 |
| cold start | 冷启动 |
| concentration crown | 专注皇冠(concentration crown) |
| contrarian corner | 反主流角(contrarian corner) |
| deep work time | 深度工作时间(deep work time) |
| Dorothy Parker | Dorothy Parker(美国作家、诗人, quote 来源) |
| effort pact | 努力承诺(effort pact) |
| ego depletion | 自我损耗(ego depletion) |
| emotion regulation problem | 情绪调节问题 |
| Empire of the Sun | 《太阳帝国》(电影名) |
| external trigger | 外在触发器 |
| hack back | 反黑 |
| Hemingway | 海明威 |
| high agency | 高能动性(high agency) |
| Hooked | Hooked(书名,全称 Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products) |
| identity pact | 身份承诺(identity pact) |
| impulse control | 冲动控制 |
| Indistractable | Indistractable(书名,全称 Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life) |
| indistractable workplace | 不可分心的工作场所(indistractable workplace) |
| intent | 意图 |
| internal trigger | 内在触发器 |
| Jeremy Bentham | Jeremy Bentham(英国哲学家,功利主义创始人) |
| John Malkovich | 约翰·马尔科维奇 |
| Lenny | Lenny(播客主持人) |
| Linea | Linea(公司名) |
| managing up | 向上管理(managing up) |
| Mindset | Mindset(书名) |
| Muji | 无印良品 |
| Nir Eyal | 尼尔·埃亚尔(作者,著有 Hooked、Indistractable,首次出现保留原文) |
| Paulo Coelho | Paulo Coelho(巴西作家,著有 The Alchemist) |
| planning fallacy | 规划谬误(planning fallacy) |
| Plato | 柏拉图 |
| pleasure principle | 快乐原则(pleasure principle) |
| pre-commitment | 预先承诺(pre-commitment) |
| predictable time off | 可预测休息时间(predictable time off) |
| price pact | 代价承诺(price pact) |
| psychological safety | 心理安全感(psychological safety) |
| reactive work | 反应性工作(reactive work) |
| reflective work | 反思性工作(reflective work) |
| Rory Sutherland | 罗里·萨瑟兰 |
| schedule syncing | 日程同步(schedule syncing) |
| Sigmund Freud | Sigmund Freud(奥地利精神病学家、精神分析学派创始人) |
| social antibodies | 社会抗体(social antibodies) |
| Steven Spielberg | 史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格 |
| Stewart Butterfield | Stewart Butterfield(Slack 联合创始人、前 CEO) |
| surf the urge | 冲动冲浪(surf the urge) |
| The Experience Machine | 《体验机器》(书名) |
| time box | 时间盒 |
| traction | 牵引力 |
| trahare | trahare(拉丁词根,意为”拉”) |
| use and abuse policy | 使用与滥用政策(use and abuse policy) |
Reformatted by reformat_english.py
减少分心、提升专注力的策略 | Nir Eyal
减少分心、提升专注力的策略 | Nir Eyal
文字稿
尼尔·埃亚尔: 我到阿里巴巴上买了一部那种老式翻盖手机,就像我们上世纪90年代用的那种——没有应用,没有网络连接。然后我又在eBay上淘了一台文字处理器,这样我就能坐下来专注写作,做那些重要的事情。但即使我停用了所有科技产品,即使我把所有应用都删掉了,我坐在书桌前还是会说:“哦,对了,那本书我一直想做点研究”,或者”让我先把桌面收拾一下”,又或者”对了,我该去把垃圾倒了”。我依然不断地分心——因为问题不在我们的科技产品,问题在于我们无法应对不适感。所以我为自己采纳的做法,也是我给所有发现自己处于这种状况的人的建议是:永远要识别那个内在触发器(internal trigger)是什么——当你分心时,你想要逃避的那种”痒”是什么——因为那就是我们90%分心行为的根源。
不是那些提示音、铃声和震动,而是我们的情绪。但对我来说,这反而极其令人振奋——因为一旦你意识到”等等,这不过是一种感觉”,仅此而已,只是一种情绪,那你就可以准备好工具,把箭囊里的箭支随时取出,一感到不适就立即应对。
嘉宾介绍
Lenny: 今天我的嘉宾是尼尔·埃亚尔(Nir Eyal)。尼尔是两本畅销书的作者:Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products 和 Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life。尼尔致力于在心理学、科技与商业的交汇领域从事教学和咨询工作。他的著作已在超过30种语言中售出超过100万册。在这次对话中,我们将非常务实地探讨如何减少分心、如何更好地专注于你明知需要完成的工作。尼尔分享了至少一打你今天就能付诸实践的工具和技巧,帮助你保持专注、避免分心。这次对话之后,我已经实施了其中一些策略,而且确实有效。如果你觉得这些内容有帮助,或者想深入了解,一定要去看看尼尔的书 Indistractable。接下来,欢迎尼尔·埃亚尔。
Lenny: 尼尔,非常感谢你能来,欢迎来到播客。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 非常感谢,Lenny。很高兴来到这里。
Lenny: 我觉得我们有机会录制播客历史上最有价值的一小时,因为它能给人们更多的时间去做自己想做的事。这基于你写的一本书,叫做 Indistractable,内容全是关于帮助人们减少分心、提升专注力的——这也许是当今职场中最核心的技能。所以我希望在今天的对话中,基本上就是尽可能多地给大家提供实用的技巧、建议和工具,帮助大家减少分心、提升专注。听起来怎么样?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 听起来很棒。我很喜欢你把期望值设得这么高,我会努力达到的。
分心的根源:不是科技,而是不适感
Lenny: 那我们就得兑现了。好的,我的问题是——我先从一个很宽泛的问题开始,然后看看对话会往哪里走。我的问题就是:一个人如何才能减少分心?或者说,我如何才能减少分心?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 好的,这里有一个更深层的动机——就是”我需要帮助”,这很好。我最喜欢做的事情就是切实帮人们解决他们具体的困境。但让我先退一步说说背景。这就是我花了五年时间写一本书的原因。为什么我花了五年才写完?因为我太容易分心了。所以这本书首先是写给我自己的,胜过写给任何人。我写书的唯一原因不是因为我知道什么,而是因为我想知道什么。我发现有太多迷思、陈词滥调,以及一些实际上有害于自身生产力的做法,而我当时全都在做。当我真正从第一性原理出发、深入研读相关研究时,我发现自己在做错的事情实在太多了。
但自从我改变了做法,采纳了研究文献中关于分心的发现之后,我的生活以一种难以想象的方式得到了改善。我45岁了,身体状况是有生以来最好的。我与家人的关系比以往任何时候都更融洽。我的工作效率也前所未有地高——并不是因为我不知道该做什么。我发现,这恰恰是当今人们的一个标志性特征:不是我们不知道该做什么。也许在过去,我们的祖父母辈确实不知道该做什么,因为信息是稀缺的,他们得去图书馆查阅资料。但在今天,有了互联网,我们基本上都知道该做什么。如果你不知道,Google一下就行了,总能找到答案。我们基本上都了解那些常识性的东西——比如你想保持好身材,就必须锻炼和注意饮食,对吧?
重新定义分心
尼尔·埃亚尔: 这些道理不需要节食书来告诉你。如果你想和家人关系更好,你必须全神贯注地陪伴他们。如果你想在工作中表现更好,你必须去做别人不愿意做的那些难事。这些道理我们都知道。我们不知道的是如何不让自己碍自己,如何停止分心。这确实是我的问题。所以我想要真正深入地研究这个问题,因为传统的解决方案对我无效。当我在生活中遇到问题时,我会思考,会写下来,会和朋友讨论,会跟妻子聊。如果还是想不通,我就去读相关的书。而那些由许多拥有终身教职的大学教授所写的传统智慧告诉我们的是:停止使用科技,停止查看邮件,远离社交媒体——它们正在腐蚀你的大脑。但这并不太有帮助,对吧?
也许如果你有终身教职,这样做没问题,但我不能停止使用科技。我的事业会一落千丈。我必须使用这些工具。所以我需要更实用的建议,而我发现,分心的根本原因远比想象中有趣,解决方案也远比”别用科技、科技是邪恶的、它在腐蚀你的大脑”更有赋能感。那么我们从哪里开始呢?也许最好的起点是——在我们深入讨论如何成为不可分心者的具体方法之前——先搞清楚什么是分心。真正理解这个概念非常重要。而理解分心最好的方式,就是理解分心不是什么。分心的反面是什么?如果你去问大多数人,分心的反面是什么?
他们会告诉你是专注,对吧?我不想分心,我想要专注。但这并不完全正确。事实上,分心的反面不是专注。分心的反面是牵引力(traction)。当你同时看这两个词时,一目了然——traction,dis-traction。它们是对立的,因为这两个词都来自同一个拉丁词根 trahare,意思是”拉”,而且它们都以相同的六个字母结尾——A-C-T-I-O-N,也就是 action,提醒我们分心不是发生在我们身上的事情,而是我们自己采取的行动。根据定义,牵引力是指任何把你拉向你说过要做的事情的行动——你带着意图去做的事,让你更接近你的价值观、帮助你成为你想成为的那种人的事。这些都是牵引力的行为。而牵引力的反面——分心——则是任何把你拉离你计划做的事情、让你远离目标、远离成为你想成为的那种人的行动。
区分牵引力和分心的,是一个词——意图。我非常喜欢 Dorothy Parker 的那句话:“你计划浪费的时间,就不是浪费的时间。“所以我认为我们需要停止把人们如何支配时间这件事医疗化和道德化。为什么一个人上 Reddit 或社交媒体或看 YouTube 视频,就在道德上劣于在电视上看橄榄球比赛呢?并不是。任何你想用时间和注意力去做的事都可以,只要你是带着意图去做的,只要是你按照自己的时间表,而不是别人的时间表——当然更不是科技公司的时间表。所以,任何你带着意图做的事都是牵引力,其他的都是分心。我发现对我而言,我被分心所欺骗了——我发现的分心中最有害的那种,是我甚至没有意识到正在让我分心的那一种。
最隐蔽的分心形式
让我看看这听起来是否耳熟,Lenny。我会坐在桌前,看着我的待办清单——顺便说一句,我们可以聊聊为什么待办清单是对个人生产力最不利的东西之一,这个我们稍后再谈。但我会坐在桌前说:“好,我有那个重要的大项目,这就是我今早要做的。我不会分心,什么也不能阻碍我。开始了,我要开工了——不过先让我查一下邮件。”
Lenny: 你是不是在监视我?这每天早上都在我身上发生。你快别说了。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 这完全是自传式的。这就是我过去一直在做的事……”哦,让我刷一下 Slack 频道,办公室里大家都在干什么?哦,让我追一下行业新闻。“这很重要,这是我工作的一部分,我在提高效率,对吧?而我没有意识到的是,分心正在诱使我优先处理那些紧急而简单的事,代价是我为了推进生活和事业而必须去做的那些困难而重要的工作。所以,仅仅因为它是工作相关的任务,并不意味着它就不是分心。事实上,这是最糟糕的一种分心。比玩 Candy Crush 之类的要糟糕得多,因为当你磨蹭的时候,至少你很明显是在分心。但如果你只是在查工作邮件,你会觉得自己很有生产力——尽管那是一种分心,因为它不是你说过你想用时间和注意力去做的事。好了,现在我们有了这个框架。我们有牵引力,我们有分心。
触发器:分心的根源
还有一件非常重要的事,然后我们就能看到完整的图景,可以不再讨论模型,而是真正进入具体操作层面——我们到底该怎么做。现在我们有了牵引力和分心,还需要考虑的另一件事是触发器。我们有两种触发器。外在触发器——我们外部环境中的东西,那些常见的嫌疑对象:叮咚声、铃声、震动,所有这些外部环境中的东西,我们倾向于把分心归咎于它们。但研究发现,它们只占我们分心原因的 10%——只有 10% 的情况是因为我们外部的东西。那另外的 90% 呢?结果发现,90% 的情况下我们分心,不是因为外部发生了什么,而是大多数分心源于内部——无聊、孤独、疲惫、不确定、焦虑。这才是 90% 分心的原因。所以,无论你沉迷的是太多新闻、太多酒精、太多橄榄球还是太多 Facebook,除非你理解问题的根本原因,否则你总是会这样那样地分心。
所以,成为不可分心者的第一步,就是掌控那些内在触发器,否则它们就会成为你的主人。现在,我们围绕四个要点展开。第二步,为牵引力留出时间——这个我们可以再聊。第三步,反击外在触发器。第四步,用约定来防止分心。所以你问了一个大问题,我给了一个大回答。这就是整体框架。这就是战略。战术是你做什么,战略是你为什么做。所以我想在我们进入战术之前先把战略解释清楚。
Lenny: 太棒了。我很喜欢牵引力这个词,因为它也和这档播客的另一个主题有关——增长、产品市场契合、打造用户想要的产品、获得用户的牵引力。所以我真的很喜欢思考牵引力还有一种方式,就是基本上不分心。你能再重复一下那四个步骤吗?让大家心里有个数?
掌控内在触发器与十分钟法则
尼尔·埃亚尔: 第一步,掌控内在触发器。第二步,为牵引力留出时间——也就是把我们的价值观转化为时间。具体怎么做我们可以再聊。第三步是反击外在触发器。这就是处理各种叮咚声、铃声和震动的地方,而且不只是手机、电脑这些显而易见的东西。我大概只用了一页半的篇幅来谈那些——那基本上是幼儿园水平的东西。但那些不显而易见的外在触发器呢?比如那些根本没必要开的蠢会议呢?那些根本没必要发送和接收的邮件呢?还有我们的孩子呢?孩子当然很棒,我知道你刚当爸爸,有孩子真的很美好,但他们也可能成为分心的来源。所以,我们如何应对所有这些外在触发器?最后第四步,用约定来防止分心。约定就是一道防火墙,是对抗分心的最后手段,用来把分心挡在门外。真正关键的是,这四个步骤要按照这个顺序协同配合——任何人都可以用这个方法成为不可分心者。
Lenny: 太棒了。对了,这四个步骤的首字母拼出来有什么巧妙的东西吗?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 没有,我没搞什么首字母缩写,但我确实有一张漂亮的图。
Lenny: 很好。那我们逐条过一遍吧。我特别想听你分享的那个例子——我觉得很多人都遇到过这种情况:有一件困难的事要做,然后我就跑去查邮件、刷推特了。我觉得这是一种非常普遍的分心方式,所以到某个时候聊到这个就太好了。不过我们先进入这四个步骤吧。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 好的,当然可以聊这个。你自己也经常遇到这种情况吗?听起来好像……
Lenny: 百分之百。每次都这样。待办清单上写着”写下周的文章”,然后我就想,“哦,我先去看看推特,或者发条推文,那会比较有意思”,然后就彻底跑去刷邮件了。“哦,收件箱归零。全部清到零。哦,真爽。好了,一天就过去了。”
尼尔·埃亚尔: 完全一样。说真的,我们是一路人。这恰恰就是我过去常陷入的模式,而且我知道自己没有做到最好,因为我没有把时间花在最重要的事情上。我只是在做那些容易的、紧急的事,但这样是不够的。所以我们用这个模型来看——第一步是掌控内在触发器。对你来说,Lenny,当你说”我知道我该做那件重要的大事,但现在我要去查邮件”的时候,我猜测背后有某种你试图逃避的潜在情绪。让我们回到你当时的处境——你本来打算做那件重要的事,但转而去查了邮件。你还记得上次发生这种事是什么时候吗?
Lenny: 每天早上。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 每天早上。今天早上呢?
Lenny: 对,今天早上。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 好,太好了。你还记得你去刷推特或查邮件——做了你不想让自己做的事,而不是你打算做的事——之前那一刻你有什么感受吗?
Lenny: 我不确定这算不算一种情绪或感受,但就是那种——我得认真起来了,得开始动脑子了,接下来会有一段深度工作的时刻,我得真正深入进去,把自己推进那个状态需要很大的力气。有时候容易一些,有时候难一些。所以,也许就是在回避那种”哦,我真的要开始动脑子了”的感觉。我想,大概就是对大脑要开始真正运转的恐惧吧。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 对,那确实很辛苦。所以也许,其中有一点懒惰,有一点惯性。有一种不舒服的感觉,就是这种”冷启动”的问题——“哦,我现在真的不想做这个。“这非常重要,我很感谢你如此坦诚地谈论自己的感受,因为我们所有人都会经历这些,却不愿意谈论它。我们宁愿相信”哦,我只要把手机调成灰度模式就好了”或者”我只要关掉通知就能解决问题”,但从来都不管用。我跟你说,这些方法我全都试过。我上阿里巴巴给自己买了一款中国的翻盖手机——就像我们上世纪九十年代用的那种,没有应用,没有网络连接。然后我又从 eBay 上买了一台文字处理机,这样我就能坐下来写作,做那些重要的事情。
即使我停止使用所有技术,即使我卸载了所有应用,我坐到书桌前还是会说:“哦,你知道吗?那本书我一直说要查点资料的”,或者”让我先把桌子收拾一下”,又或者”你知道吗?我该去倒垃圾了”。我依然不断分心,因为问题不在于我们的技术。问题在于我们无法应对不适感。所以,我为自己采纳的做法,也是我给所有陷入这种处境的人的建议,就是始终去识别那个内在触发器是什么——当你分心的时候,你试图逃避的那个”痒处”是什么,因为那才是 90% 分心的根源。不是那些叮咚声、铃声和震动。而是那些感受。但对我来说,这恰恰是非常令人振奋的,因为一旦你意识到”等等,这不过是一种感觉”——就是这样,不过是一种情绪而已——那你就准备好工具了。你箭袋里就有箭,一感到那种不适就可以拿出来用。
让我给你一个我每天都在用的工具。下次你再遇到同样的问题时尽管用。它叫”十分钟法则”(10-minute rule),这只是在书中提供的十几种技巧中的一种,但这一条我几乎每天都在用。我已经做了十多年的职业写作者了,写作从来都不容易。我听人说”哦,养成写作习惯就好了”——我觉得这太可笑了。我都不知道他们在说什么。习惯的定义是几乎不需要意识思考就能完成的行为。我不知道怎么靠”习惯”来写作。写作从来都是辛苦的工作。我写了两本畅销书、上千篇文章,让我告诉你,它从来都不容易。很艰难,而我写作时唯一想做的就是去 Google 搜一下这个东西,或者”让我快速看一下新闻”,或者让我去做任何事情——除了真正写作之外的所有事情。所以,我的做法是这样的。
Lenny: 顺便说一句,有一句很棒的引言我想快速分享一下,我觉得我在这个播客里经常引用。这句话一般认为误归于 Hemingway,但说的是:“写作很容易。坐在键盘前放血就行。”
尼尔·埃亚尔: 天哪,说得太对了。太对了,我至今也没弄明白怎么让写作突然变得容易。每一个字都很难敲出来,但我必须写,而且我热爱写作。我热爱写完之后的感觉。写作的过程非常艰难,但当我有了发现、创造出自己认为有用的东西之后,那就很有乐趣了。但做工作本身确实非常困难。所以我的做法是这样的——每次我受到诱惑想去做别的事情(这无时无刻不在发生),我就会拿出一个计时器,拿出手机说”设一个十分钟倒计时”,然后把手机放下。在这十分钟里,我的任务就是——准备好了就回到手头的工作,或者做所谓的”冲动冲浪”(surf the urge)。
冲动冲浪与十分钟法则
尼尔·埃亚尔: 冲动冲浪的核心在于认识到这些情绪就像波浪。它们会涌起,然后消退。但我们通常不是这样看待情绪的。大多数人认为情绪是持续存在的。如果我感到无聊,我觉得自己会一直无聊下去。如果我感到沮丧,感觉就像会一直沮丧下去,但事实从来不是这样。情绪就像波浪。所以,你要做的就是设一个十分钟的计时器,意识到你几乎可以忍受任何事情十分钟。这个方法的要点不是说”不要做”。我们知道很多人使用的”戒断”技巧——告诉自己”别做那个,那是不好的”——实际上可能适得其反。如果你感兴趣,我们可以聊聊为什么戒断会适得其反的心理学原理。但一个更健康的方法不是告诉自己”不行”,而是告诉自己”现在还不行”。
你说的不是”不行”,你说的是”现在还不行”。所以你几乎可以忍受任何事情十分钟。我对自己说的是:“好,我就等十分钟再去查邮件,再去刷社交媒体,再去 Google 搜一个只是为了拖延工作的东西。“我能做到。我是个成年人,我想做什么就可以做什么,十分钟而已,我可以做到。在这十分钟里,我要做的就是要么回到手头的工作,回到写作,要么做冲动冲浪——也就是单纯地去体验那种感觉,承认:“你知道吗?这是艰难的工作。没关系。这就是为什么我感到沮丧。这就是为什么我感到无聊。这就是为什么我感到焦虑。这就是为什么我对这项困难的工作有这种冷启动的不情愿。”
所以我做的做法是深呼吸,然后默念一句我自己编的口诀。你也可以编自己的口诀。每当感受到这种内在触发器时,我的个人口诀是这样的,我提醒自己:“这就是变得更好的感觉。这就是变得更好的感觉。“就这样一直默念,直到那股情绪涌起又消退,然后回到工作。你会发现十次中有九次,当十分钟到了的时候,你已经忘记了那种感觉。你已经回到了手头的工作。这就是所谓的十分钟法则。当然,随着时间推移,你在做的是——十分钟法则可以变成十二分钟法则,可以变成二十分钟法则,而最重要的是,你在向自己证明你有能动性(agency),你说要专注于一件事,你确实做到了。这才是最重要的部分。
技术没有绑架你的大脑
我们需要改变人们心中的一个认知翻转——就是那种认为技术正在绑架我们大脑的荒谬信念。好像我们对分心无能为力,好像我们的注意力正在被偷走。它没有被偷走,是我们在主动交出去。所以我们需要做的是赋予自己力量,通过实践和理论向自己证明:当我说我要推迟那个分心的时候,我确实能做到。
Lenny: 我喜欢这个方法的地方在于,一是它有点像番茄工作法,但更短。十分钟这个调整我觉得非常聪明,比很多人推荐的二十分钟要好。然后我有几个追问。你是只在早上做一次然后就不再用了吗?是当作一天的开机启动,然后就开始……如果是我的话,一旦开始就不会只是十分钟,可能会变成一个小时,因为我会想:“好吧,最难的部分我做了,我已经进入状态了,我就继续工作下去。“所以,这是一个早上开机启动的方法,还是你会在一天中反复使用?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 你可以在发现自己偏离轨道的时候随时使用。番茄工作法是这个方法的一个版本。但我认为它不够完整,因为番茄工作法只是说”设个计时器,去做吧”。好吧,没问题。如果它对你有效,那很好。顺便说一句,我现在说的所有内容——如果那些方法对你已经有效,如果你的生活很棒,你在做你说要做的事情——那也许这个播客不适合你,也许我的书不是写给你的,对吧?我是在跟那些——无论出于什么原因——知道自己可以做得更好、知道自己在偏离轨道的人说话。也许像曾经的我一样,你说要锻炼但没有去,或者你说要健康饮食但没有做到。你说要着手那个大任务,但你一直在拖延。那才是真正的我,那才是我为谁写的这本书。
所以你可以在每次分心的时候使用这个技巧。但它不是全貌。这一点非常重要。还记得我们讨论过的那四个步骤吗?这只是第一步。大约有十几种不同的方法可以尝试。也许这个十分钟法则对你不适用,它也不是对每个人都适用的。你可能需要其他技巧。仅就掌控内在触发器这一步,就有几十种不同的技巧。但下一步——来回答你的问题,我该持续多久?我该做一个小时吗?如果我现在已经进入状态了呢?我的回答是明确的不。你不需要一直做到你认为自己的极限。你要做的——这是第二步——是通过把你的价值观转化为时间来为牵引力腾出空间,也就是说,你要制定一个时间盒日程表,因为你无法称某件事为分心,除非你知道它让你从什么上面分心了。
时间盒日程表
让我再说一遍。你无法称某件事为分心,除非你知道它让你从什么上面分心了。对我来说,至少当我屈服于”哦,让我快速查一下邮件,让我快速看看 Twitter 上有什么”的时候,部分原因是我会给自己找理由:“嗯,这是工作相关的事务,我总得做。“而我的日历上没有一个具体的时间来做这件事,所以我就一直想:“我总得做,不如现在就做。“这是一个巨大的错误。因为如果你不能看着日历说:“哦,那是牵引力。“——查邮件、写博客文章、发布播客、上社交媒体——如果这些没有写在你的日历上,如果不在那里,它就是分心。而且不仅仅是工作相关的事情。我的日历里真的有时间用来陪女儿、上社交媒体、看 Netflix。它就在我的日历上。所以我把以前是分心的事情变成了牵引力,方法就是把它们放进日程表。
Lenny: 所以你真的在一天中这样安排——“我要在这个时间查 Twitter,我要在那个时间陪女儿。”
尼尔·埃亚尔: 正是如此。而且你绝不在当天调整日程。你绝不想在当天做这件事。你始终要确保在前一天做好调整。我的做法是每周一次,周日晚上,大约花我每周十分钟的时间。晚上八点,我坐下来,看看接下来一周的日程,然后问自己:“这个日程是否反映了我的价值观?“什么是价值观?价值观是你想成为的那个人的品质特征。让我再说一遍。价值观是你想成为的那个人的品质特征。有三个生活领域:你自己、你的人际关系,最后是你的工作。所以你要做的就是看看你接下来一周的日历,问自己:“我想成为的那个人,会怎样花时间照顾自己?“这就是”你自己”这个领域。如果你不能照顾好自己,你就无法照顾他人,你也就无法让世界变得更好。
把自己照顾好
所以,你要在日历上安排好如何照顾自己。这可能包括什么?休息的时间。我们都知道睡眠有多重要,但我以前会冲女儿吼:“哦,该睡觉了,你得赶紧上床。“然后有一天她对我说:“爸爸,你有睡觉时间吗?“她说得完全对。我是个伪君子,因为我知道睡眠有多重要,却没有给自己设定睡觉时间。现在,我有了睡觉时间,它就在我的日程表里。然后再把其他对你重要的事情也安排进去。阅读对你重要吗?祈祷重要吗?冥想、锻炼、电子游戏,这些对你重要吗?很好。凡是你认为符合你价值观的事情,都把它放进日程表。
接下来你要把人际关系安排进去。所以,不要让生活中的人际关系只得到剩下的零碎时间。在日程表里为你的伴侣、你的孩子、你的朋友们留出时间。我们中有多少人深陷孤独的流行病中,正是因为我们没有为最亲近的关系腾出时间,包括成年人的友谊?别让这些关系枯萎。也在日程表里为它们留出时间。我们知道,大多数友谊并不是在一场大爆发中消亡的。关系是饿死的,因为我们没有投入。在日程表里为这些关系留出时间。这一点我们稍后也可以谈谈怎么做。
反应性工作与反思性工作
最后,工作领域涉及两种工作。一种叫反应性工作(reactive work),一种叫反思性工作(reflective work)。反应性工作,就是回复通知、回复邮件、回应同事拍拍你的肩膀。这是每个人一天中都会有的部分。我理解,但别让它占据你整天的时间,因为大多数人养成了一种习惯——他们不想思考。他们不愿意去想什么才是重要的。“所以,就让我看看收件箱吧。收件箱会告诉我该做什么。对我的业务来说什么才是真正重要的?这太难了,我真的不想去想。我还是看看待办清单,勾掉那些简单的小任务,让自己感觉很有成效吧。“这太糟糕了。你真正应该做的,是在日程表里为反思性工作时间留出时段,也就是做那种需要你不受干扰地进行的工作。规划、制定策略、思考——天哪——这些只能在不受干扰的状态下完成。这些也会填满你的日历。然后你会发现,时间永远不够做完所有事情,这其实是好事,因为这迫使你做出取舍,这也是待办清单之所以糟糕的主要原因之一——因为待办清单没有约束。你总可以往待办清单上加更多东西,你可以一直加,但接下来会发生什么呢?这就是我的经历。我下班回家,忙了一整天,看一眼待办清单,上面有一百项,我就想:“哇,我辛辛苦苦干了一整天,还有这么多没做完。我真是个失败者。“日复一日、周复一周、月复一月,我不断强化这样一个自我形象:一个不懂得管理时间的人。然后我开始说些蠢话,比如:“也许我不擅长时间管理。也许我有未确诊的 ADHD。也许我有什么问题。“我没有任何问题。有问题的是这种非常愚蠢的待办清单方法——它不迫使你理解必须做出取舍,必须正确地排定优先级,而这只能在有约束条件的情况下做到,而这些约束来自你的日历。
所以,你通过为牵引力腾出时间、建立这样的日历安排,把你的价值观转化为了时间。然后,只有到那个时候,你才能看着日历说:“啊,我计划做的任何事情,那就是牵引力。其他一切都是分心。“
深度工作时间的实践
Lenny: 我想分享几个对我有效的方法,和你的思路非常一致。一个是预约——我把它叫做深度工作时间(deep work time),安排在每天里。这是我当时日历上唯一的东西,其他那些我都没做,我现在觉得那些也会非常有帮助,但当时我只有一个,我叫它深度工作时间。谁要是敢在这个时间段预约会议,我就要扇他。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 我喜欢这个。
Lenny: 我每周一早上、周三早上,还有周五某个时段都这样做,而且在那个……
尼尔·埃亚尔: 谁在扇谁?
Lenny: 我会扇那个在这个时段预约的人,而且谁也不能……
尼尔·埃亚尔: 好的,明白了。
Lenny: 我不知道现在这样还允不允许。我不知道这个……
尼尔·埃亚尔: 看你约的是谁吧,我猜。
Lenny: 对,可能得稍微温和一点。但这招非常管用。那是两到三个小时的深度工作时间块,让我作为 PM 不被别人预约,这对我获得专注时间的能力产生了巨大的影响。
预先承诺的力量
尼尔·埃亚尔: 是的,我很喜欢。顺便说一句,我还想听更多这样的做法,不过这个例子说明了一个很好的观点——当代价足够高的时候,我经常听到人们说:“我就是找不到时间专注,我就是做不完这件事,现在这年头根本不可能。“然后我就说:“好,我们来打个赌。“比如在健身方面我经常遇到这种情况,或者有人说:“哦,我想当作家,我该怎么做?我怎么写书?我就是找不到时间。“他们不断地说为什么不行、不行、不行。“有这个限制,老板要这个,孩子要那个。“他们有各种各样的借口。然后我说:“好,假设周一早上八点,如果你不锻炼,你就得付我一万美元。你会去吗?你会锻炼吗?""那当然,我肯定锻炼。轻轻松松。是的,当然。“好,那我们已经确定了你可以做到。现在我们只是在讨论代价。这就涉及第四步——做出承诺,即所谓的预先承诺(pre-commitment),其中一种就是代价承诺(price pact)。我就是靠这个恢复身材的。我曾经临床肥胖。今天,我处于一生中最好的体形,部分原因就是我使用了这些承诺。重要的是,这一步必须放在最后做。如果你没有处理好内在触发器,最重要的是,如果你没有在日程表中为牵引力腾出时间,如果你没有回击外在触发器,这第四步就不会起作用。但作为最后一道防线,它的影响力是巨大的,我们也可以谈谈具体怎么做。
Lenny: 我听说 All-In 那帮人也是靠这个减肥的。我觉得 Sax 和 Jason 也做了一个承诺,金额很大,十万美元还是什么的……
尼尔·埃亚尔: 哦,太棒了。其实我也是靠这个写完这本书的。也许他们读过我的书,我很好奇,因为我讲过完全一样的情况。
Lenny: 你做到了。听起来是的。你做到了。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 是吗?是的。
Lenny: 另一个我想分享的小技巧,是关于待办清单的。所以,我用待办清单,但我学到了不能让它无限增长。当我还是上班族的时候,我会把待办清单写在笔记本上,每天早上重写一遍,这样它就提醒我:“好吧,这个东西我已经抄了十遍了,我肯定不会做了,直接划掉吧。“所以,每天重新思考一遍的这个动作,影响非常大。但这只对那些能接受手写待办清单的人有效。如果是数字化的,那些东西就不会消失。
待办清单的误区
尼尔·埃亚尔: 所以,我只想澄清一下,把事情从脑子里拿出来写在纸上,这没有任何问题。这很好,但这只是第一步。人们犯的一个大错误是,把事情放到待办清单上,然后早上醒来,该做什么呢?“嗯,待办清单上有什么就做什么吧。“于是,他们倾向于做那些简单的事情。我认识一些人——我不想说,我自己以前也这么干——我会先完成一个任务,然后忘记把它放到待办清单上,于是我回过头把它写上去,就为了能勾掉那个框。这多荒唐啊?太可笑了。我觉得这一点真的需要改变:我们有一种文化,把勾掉清单上的事项当作一种小小的情绪奖励,对吧?
但这很荒唐。我们不应该用勾掉了多少可爱的小方框来衡量自己。更重要的是,不是”我完成任务了吗?“我不想让你追踪”我完成了吗?“这不是最重要的部分——但人们可能会挠头:你什么意思?不就是要把该做的事做完吗?不,重要的部分是弄清楚你的生产力,弄清楚你使用时间的效率如何。所以,一个更有益的追踪指标不是”我勾掉了那个框吗?我完成了吗?“而是”我是否按照我所说的,在所说的时间里,不分心地做了我计划做的事?“我再重复一遍:“我是否按照我所说的,在所说的时间里,不分心地做了我计划做的事?“
规划谬误与时间盒
因为这是了解事情到底需要多长时间的唯一途径。待办清单的问题在于没有反馈循环,没有反馈机制。一件事到底要花你多长时间?这就是为什么使用待办清单的人会出现所谓的规划谬误(planning fallacy)——研究发现,平均而言,任务完成所需的时间是人们预估的三倍。为什么会这样?因为当你说”好的,待办清单上有这件事,我来做做看要花多长时间”的时候,你做了五分钟,然后收到一封邮件,然后收到一条通知,然后开始跟同事聊天,你实际上从未追踪过那件事到底花了多长时间。而如果你说”看,我要按照我说的时间专注于那项任务,而且不分心。就这样,我只要做这件事”,情况就完全不同了。
现在你有了一个衡量进展的指标。比如,我在做那个演示文稿,需要做30页幻灯片,我做了30分钟,完成了两页。好的,现在我知道了,我还需要十个这样的时间盒才能完成整个任务。这就是为什么事实证明,按照我提倡的方式衡量自己的人——那些说”我就按照我是否在所说的时间里不分心地做了我计划做的事来衡量自己,不管有没有完成”的人——关键在于,他们实际上完成得更多。他们比待办清单派的人完成的事情更多,因为他们现在了解了事情需要多长时间,可以合理地安排时间,而不是像我们大多数人那样。
在写 Indistractable 之前,我以前的做法就是拖延、拖延、再拖延。“糟了,得赶紧做了,截止日期到了,所以我通宵做完吧。“当然,那不是你状态最好的时候,而且压力非常大。
截止日期与拖延
Lenny: 既然你提到了截止日期,关于把它作为一种完成任务的工具,你有什么建议和心得吗?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 我们发现,那些非常受截止日期驱动的人,确实会完成他们说要完成的事,但质量当然很差。他们基本上是勉强过关。我以前一直就是这么干的。我整个大学时代和在斯坦福读MBA的时候都是等、等、等,然后最后一刻完成。我能做得还算不错,但如果能不分心地工作,我明明可以做得好得多。所以,直到——其实我们都知道,对吧?我们都知道,提前留出充裕的时间,一点一点地踏实投入,效果会比最后一刻突击好得多。但人们之所以不这么做,是因为他们没有意识到两件事的重要性。第一,是管理那些内在触发器。
如果你一直在想”呃,那个项目会很糟糕。我不想做它。我不想打那些销售电话。我不想做那个演示。我不想做那些让人不舒服的事情”,而你又没有应对这种不适的工具,你就会一直拖延下去。因为从根本上看,拖延是一个情绪调节问题。它不是性格缺陷。你没有问题,你不是坏掉了。只是你没有应对情绪不适的工具,而这是所有人都跳过的部分。我们不想谈论这些不舒服的感受,但一切必须从这里开始。然后,人们没有做的部分是,真正去规划的不仅是任务本身,而是不分心地完成任务的时间。这个部分——如果你能落实我前面谈到的第二步,即腾出时间做有牵引力的事,那将会彻底改变一切。
Lenny: 所以,我试过类似的方法,比如白天安排好,我要做这个、做那个,但我最后就是没做。总会有事情冒出来,或者我就是分心了,心想算了。我想一个问题是,你安排在日历上的事情,你实际完成的比例有多高?第二个问题是,对于真正坚持按计划行事、做你安排好的事情,还有什么其他建议吗?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 好,第一个问题:你有没有准备好应对不适的工具?当你不想做的时候,你做了什么?
Lenny: 没有。我没有用那个冲动冲浪和十分钟法则的小技巧。我其实很好奇那个类别里还有没有其他技巧,但确实没有。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 当然有。是的。所以这是最重要的部分,这也是为什么我把它放在书的最前面,因为拖延归根到底是一个情绪调节问题。我觉得这一点非常迷人。就我个人而言,我很想深入探究——不仅是理解我们为什么不去做自己说要做的事,还要理解我们为什么会做任何事?人类动机的根本来源是什么?我觉得我之前没有正确理解它。我觉得大多数人都没有正确理解动机。仔细想想,不觉得很不可思议吗?“我知道该做什么。我同意,这是需要完成的事。我就是不去做。“这不是很荒谬吗?顺便说一句,这不是一个新问题。柏拉图,两千五百年前的希腊哲学家,就谈论过这个完全相同的问题。在互联网出现之前的两千五百年,在社交媒体之前,在所有我们认为如此令人分心的线上事物之前,这位希腊哲学家就已经面对着同样的问题了。
胡萝卜就是大棒
尼尔·埃亚尔: 这是人类处境的一部分。我们不断被分心,这是写在 DNA 里的。但对我来说,这是一个迷人的谜题。为什么?如果我们追问一个更深层的问题——我们为什么会做任何事情?人类动机的根源,大多数人认为是胡萝卜加大棒。如果你问人们,我们为什么做自己做的事?答案往往是追求快乐、避免痛苦。Jeremy Bentham 说过类似的话。Sigmund Freud 将其称为快乐原则。但从神经科学的角度来看,这不是真的。不是真的。不是关于追求快乐和避免痛苦。不是胡萝卜加大棒,事实上,胡萝卜就是大棒。这正是我想给你的那种《黑客帝国》式的顿悟——还记得那部电影里,有个小孩拿着勺子,勺子开始弯曲,小孩说”想象勺子不存在”,对吧?
Lenny: 当然记得。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 胡萝卜就是大棒。我是什么意思?我们知道,从神经科学的角度来看,我们做一切事情的唯一原因不是追求快乐,而是想要逃避不适。你所做的一切,即使是追求愉悦的感觉,胡萝卜就是大棒,因为即使是想要感觉好——渴望、欲求、欲望、饥饿——那种对美好感觉的渴求本身就会在心理上造成不稳定。胡萝卜就是大棒。所以这意味着什么呢?我觉得这极其令人振奋,因为这意味着,每当我们没有做某件事,每当我们拖延,那不过是一种感觉。就是这样,不过是一种感觉。所以,当我们掌握了这些工具,并不意味着——我看到很多人开始把它理性化,想”我一定是哪里出了问题。也许你需要吃药,也许你需要治疗。“百分之九十九的概率,你没有任何问题。你只是没有这些工具。所以,我们必须从这里出发,彻底理解并运用这些技巧,这样当你感到不适时,你能利用那种不适。我在写这本书的过程中研究发现,各行各业的高绩效者——商业、艺术、体育——他们感受到同样的内在触发器。他们也会感到孤独、无聊、压力、焦虑,但他们把那种不适当作火箭燃料,推动自己走向牵引力。而容易分心的人呢,一感到不舒服,一感到无聊,一感到孤独,一感到犹豫或压力,嘭——就用喝酒、点击、用什么东西来逃避那种不适。所以,这必须是第一步。
Lenny: 这太有意思了。本质上,分心是一个情绪调节问题。你是这么说的对吧。在帮助管理那种不适方面,还有什么方法有效?我们谈过了十分钟法则、计时器、冲动冲浪。在那个”我就是不想干了,想去刷 Twitter,但我现在应该做这件事”的时刻,还有什么其他方法可以尝试?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 在应对内在触发器方面,有很多不同的技巧。我们可以深入一些更具体的技巧,数量非常多。但这里最重要的一点是,一旦你有了一些想尝试的工具,比如十分钟法则、冲动冲浪、重新想象任务、调节情绪等等,下一步就是把它放进日历,我们之前简要提到过。所以,比如说你说”好吧,我有段时间会……”你刚才说你想做什么来着,结果你去查邮件了?
Lenny: 开始写下周的 newsletter,或者继续写。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 写 newsletter?
Lenny: 对,写。
把时间盒写进日历
尼尔·埃亚尔: 好。你有没有把它写在日历上?就是那种”如果我不做就一拳打我脸上”的安排?
Lenny: 那是我还有正式工作时候的事了。现在我之前的做法是,每天前半天一直到三点都是深度工作时间。我管它叫”建造时间”,三点之后才是会议。所以那其实是一大段连续的专注时间,但并没有按照当天要做的事情进一步细分。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 我明白了。好。第二步就是把它放进日历——“我要花三十分钟、四十五分钟,或者你觉得合理的任意时长来写这篇 newsletter”。根据你觉得能专注多长时间来定。把它放进日程表。好?第三步是反黑外在触发器。那么,当你说要写 newsletter 的时候,你的外部环境中有没有什么东西在滴滴响、嗡嗡震、小孩、宠物、配偶之类的干扰你?
Lenny: 有意思的是,你提到只有百分之十的分心来自那些东西。这让我一方面意识到,大多数时候并没有什么东西把我拉到 Twitter、LinkedIn 上面去。大多数时候,只是觉得”可能有什么有趣的事在发生”。但确实有些时候我会看到一个小红点,或者手机收到推送通知,或者我妻子带着孩子在远处,我就想”哦,去看看那边怎么了”。
反黑外在触发器
尼尔·埃亚尔: 对。这就是我们要反黑的地方。我之所以用”黑”这个词——黑入某样东西就是获得未经授权的访问。有人黑入你的银行账户或数据库。我们知道这些技术在我们注意力上获得了未经授权的访问,它们不断地发通知、响铃。所以有一些很简单的事情可以做。提前设置好时间表,让设备在一天中特定时段自动进入勿扰模式,或者在开始这项任务之前——在你开始写作之前——确保打开勿扰模式,这样就没有东西挡在你面前。我的桌面上,勿扰模式从午夜到十一点五十九分一直开着。它始终处于勿扰模式,因为我不想在做专注工作时被这些持续不断的通知打扰。
确保这些设置打开。说到这个,现在我们很多人在家办公,所以要确保家人知道你什么时候是不可打扰的。我给你一个建议。我知道你家有个婴儿,但很快,这个婴儿就会变成一个蹒跚学步的小孩。我们在家的做法是,我妻子在 Amazon 上买了一个我们叫”专注皇冠”的东西。专注皇冠就是一个小花环一样的头饰,她戴在头上,看起来像小公主的装饰,上面有小 LED 灯,会亮。书里有照片。我女儿六岁的时候,我们告诉她:“看,只要妈妈戴着专注皇冠,就意味着她不能被打扰,她会在三十分钟内来找你。”
她的时间盒从来不超过三十分钟。所以我们告诉她:“我们三十分钟内会来找你。除非你在流血,否则不要打断我们,好吗?如果你在流血,可以打断我们,但除非在流血才行。“——那时候我女儿才六岁。她自己能找到事情做。孩子偶尔无聊一下是没关系的。只要妈妈戴着专注皇冠,那就是信号。顺便说一句,对我这个作为她的另一半、她的丈夫来说,这个方法也特别特别管用,因为我以前总打断她说:“嘿 Julie,我能问你一件事吗?“她在电脑前工作,但我不知道她是在听播客、看视频,还是在做需要专注的工作。所以,反黑那些外在触发器,确保它们不会通过打断来获取未经授权的访问——无论打断来自你的孩子还是你的同事。
每一本 Indistractable 里都夹着一张可以抽出的纸片,一张卡片纸,折成三折后立在电脑显示器上。就是你电脑显示器上一块很大的红色标志,上面写着:“我现在不分心。请稍后再来。“你可能会说:“我戴上耳机不就行了,同事就知道不该打断我了吗?“是的,但那样他们会觉得你在磨洋工、打游戏之类的。而如果你说:“不,我现在在做专注工作,请稍后再来”,你就在让不被频繁打断变得可接受。你在让无干扰工作成为一种文化上合宜的做法。以上只是一些反黑那些外在触发器的方法。
Lenny: 我太喜欢那个皇冠的主意了。我觉得很多人会用上这个。
(以下为广告段落,已跳过)
Lenny: 要避免分心、触发器、推送通知这些东西,你有什么工具推荐吗?我想很多人在想这个问题——有没有办法屏蔽 Twitter?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 当然有。这个问题正好引出第四步。我们之前讲了第一步——掌控内在触发器,第二步——为牵引力安排时间,第三步——反黑外在触发器。刚才我们讨论的就是第三步。第四步是用承诺防止分心。承诺有三种类型。第一种是代价承诺(price pact),即设置某种经济上的惩罚机制来阻止自己偏离轨道。这就是我们之前谈到的那种方法——你跟人打赌。我们可以聊聊我是怎么用这种方式人生中第一次练出好身材的,又是怎么用它写完这本书的。这就是代价承诺。第二种是身份承诺(identity pact),影响力非常非常大,它的核心是塑造一种个人身份。这源于宗教心理学——我们知道,那些给自己贴上某种标签的人会遵循相应的行为规范。比如说,如果你说自己是一个虔诚的穆斯林,你不会纠结要不要来一杯金汤力,因为虔诚的穆斯林不喝酒。如果你说”我是纯素食者”或”我是素食者”,一个素食者不会早上醒来想:“嗯,今天早饭要不要来个培根三明治呢?“不会的,他们是素食者。这就是他们是谁。
所以这就是为什么这本书叫 Indistractable。Indistractable 这个词听起来像 indestructible(坚不可摧)。它是你的身份,是你自己。所以,如果有人说:“不好意思,我不会每隔三十秒查看每一条推送和提示音。我是一个不分心的人。“或者:“你知道吗,如果我们要一起吃饭,如果我们坐下来一起吃午饭,我希望这顿饭没有干扰。所以我们能不能把手机收起来?“这跟有人说”我有特定的饮食偏好”或”我有特定的宗教服饰要求”有什么不同吗?
没有不同。也许这不是主流做法。也许只有少数人这样做。但我认为,要让这个世界变得不分心,就需要我们中更多的人展示出——当我们把这些原则融入生活、让它成为身份的一部分时,我们能拥有多么美好的生活。
第三种承诺叫做努力承诺(effort pact)。这就回到你刚才问的我们能使用什么工具的问题。努力承诺就是在分心之前设置某种阻力、某种你需要付出的努力。作为最后一道防线——这就是为什么它是第四步,最后一道防线,抵御分心的防火墙——就是确保你把自己留在该做的事上,就像我们把分心挡在外面一样。我给你讲个亲身经历的故事。我不知道这个节目是不是老少皆宜的。我可以稍微谈谈我的性生活吗?
Lenny: 完全可以。来吧,聊聊。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 没有听起来那么刺激。我结婚已经二十二年了。我妻子和我发现我们没有以前那么亲密了。那是我刚开始写这本书的时候。部分原因在于,每天晚上我们上床之后,她摸着她的 iPhone,我抚摸着我的 iPad。我们没有亲密,因为我们忙着玩各自的设备,而不是彼此。后来我开始做关于 Indistractable 的研究,学到了这种努力承诺的技巧。于是我们做了这样一件事——我去五金店花十美元买了一个插座定时器。这种定时器可以让插在上面的任何东西在你设定的时间自动开关。
在我们家,直到今天,每天晚上十点,我的互联网路由器都会自动关闭。这会产生什么效果呢?我们知道每天晚上十点路由器会关。我女儿知道,我妻子知道,我也知道。我必须在此之前把所有需要上网的事情做完,因为网会断。那我能把网重新打开吗?当然能。我可以用手机热点,我也可以去把路由器拔出来重新插上。但那需要费力。所以我的做法是——如果其他一切都失败了,如果掌控内在触发器失败了,如果为牵引力安排时间失败了,如果反黑失败了——我就在一件我以前会无意识去做的事情上注入了一丝正念。现在,我必须问自己:“等一下。我真的要费那么大劲去重新插拔路由器吗?还是去做我说过要做的事——按时上床,也许和我妻子亲密一下?”
尼尔·埃亚尔: 这带来了天壤之别的变化。坦白说,Lenny,做了几年之后,这已经成了我们的日常习惯。大家都知道晚上十点是就寝时间,到了十点就要开始准备上床。互联网路由器会自动关闭。实际上我们现在甚至已经不需要这个定时器了,因为它已经成为我们生活的一部分。所以,这是一个非常便宜的工具,任何人都可以用来做努力承诺。另一个我几乎每天都在用的工具,我女儿也在用,是一款很棒的应用,叫 Forest。你知道 Forest 吗?
Lenny: 不知道。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 它特别棒。Forest 的工作原理是这样的——它是一个很可爱的小应用,我可以展示给你看,我把它调出来。当你说要开始一段深度工作时间时,输入你想要的工作时长。比如,我要做四十分钟的深度工作。一按下开始,屏幕上就会种下一棵可爱的小虚拟树。如果我拿起手机做任何事情,那棵可爱的小虚拟树就会被砍倒。它只是一个小小的提醒:“没错,这不是你说过现在要做的事。你说要工作,但你却拿起了手机。“它提醒你,这不是你说过要做的事。它插入了那一点摩擦力,那一点额外的努力。你还想要更多工具——另一款我非常喜欢的产品叫 Focusmate。你试过 Focusmate 吗?
Lenny: 是不是那种给你匹配一个人,你们互相看着对方工作的那种?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 对,没错。就像是干净版的 chat roulette。我太喜欢这家公司了,实际上我还投资了它。基本流程是这样的:你上线,查看日历,选择一个你想做深度工作的时间。我以前的一个问题就是启动困难——一旦开始了就没问题,但早上八点开始太难了,有点像你之前说的冷启动问题。所以它的作用就是给你一个承诺——再一次,这是一种与另一个人之间的预先承诺:“好,早上八点,我会到。“如果你没出现,你会得到一个差评。它把你和另一个人绑定在一起,构建这个努力承诺:“我会在那个时间到场。“然后你们互相说:“好,你在做什么?我在做什么?好,开始。“在整个时间盒内,你不受干扰地工作。看到另一个人也在不受干扰地工作,是一种非常好的方式,把你约束在你说过的要做的事情上。
所以这些只是一些工具,还有很多很多其他的。
要点回顾
Lenny: 太棒了。好吧,让我试着把你到目前为止分享的所有内容列出来,涵盖四个步骤,然后我再追问几个问题。以下是我的笔记。第一是这个十分钟法则的想法——设定一个十分钟的计时器,告诉自己:“我现在要做一件我真正想做的事,只做十分钟,不做别的。“在做的过程中,冲动冲浪——你会觉得不想做,但就冲浪过去,感受它,意识到这确实困难。然后是一天的时间日程安排——这似乎是你方法的一个核心部分:提前想好一天要做什么,放到日历上。所以你的待办清单就是你的日历,本质上是这样。
然后是各种承诺的概念。你分享了很多不同的承诺想法,比如如果我做不到就付你一大笔钱。还有那个 Wi-Fi 定时器——好的,我想这也可以延伸到其他一些工具。Wi-Fi 定时器、Forest 应用、Focusmate 应用和产品。然后还有你分享的几个其他方法。就是开启勿扰模式——设定一个时间,在白天特定时段开启勿扰。对你来说是全天开启,我也尽量这样做。然后显然要让你的妻子和重要联系人能打通,让家人知道你什么时候在工作,这样他们就不会打扰你。也许还有这个专注皇冠。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 对。
管理内在触发器的更多技巧
Lenny: 好。在我们进入下一个话题之前,我想在第一个环节多花一些时间,因为你的观点非常重要——我们的大部分分心其实是情绪调节问题,我们只是不喜欢不适感。所以我很好奇,你还能教我和教大家什么来更好地管理这种情绪?这个类别里还有没有其他可能有用的策略?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 当然有。在掌控内在触发器方面,有三个大的方向。我们可以重新想象任务,重新想象触发器,以及重新想象我们的性格气质。也许我可以给你一个我认为很重要的、关于重新想象性格气质的建议。如果我们把性格气质看作不可改变的特质,看作人格的固有属性,我们就必须非常小心,不要让什么样的身份认同和什么样的限制进入我们的心理。我给你一个很好的例子。几年前,有一系列围绕所谓”自我损耗”(ego depletion)的研究。自我损耗这个概念是说,意志力是一种可耗尽的资源。你看到一些研究者做了实验,似乎表明意志力是会消耗完的——对我来说,辛苦工作一天回到家,我会说:“哦,我的意志力用完了。我’耗尽’了,什么都做不了了。给我那品脱 Ben and Jerry’s 冰淇淋,我要坐在电视机前,因为我耗尽了。没有更多意志力了。”
其中一些研究似乎确实发现了这种现象。但问题在于,在社会科学中,当某件事听起来有点可疑、听起来好得不像真的时,科学流程要求我们重新运行这些实验。结果发现,关于自我损耗的这些研究无法复现。我们找不到这个效应。不过有一个例外——Carol Dweck 做的一项研究。她是我的研究英雄之一,写了那本你可能很熟悉的书 Mindset。她做了一项很有意思的研究,发现自我损耗确实存在,但只存在于一个特定群体中。
那个群体是谁?结果发现,唯一真正像电池耗尽那样用完意志力的人,是那些相信意志力是一种有限资源的人。所以这超级、超级重要——不要让自己被这些荒谬的观念所影响,不要相信我们有什么缺陷、我们受到了限制、我们上瘾了。“上瘾”这个说法非常流行——我们都上瘾了,我们都无法控制这些行为。这不是事实。实际上,只有当你相信它是真的,它才会成真。所以,告诉自己”我们是不可分心的”应该成为我们的一种修行。Indistractable 这个词就是要听起来像 indestructible(坚不可摧),要听起来像一种超能力。反复告诉自己你不是受限的——这关乎你的行为。这不是道德上的失败。不是你有什么问题。不是技术在对你做什么。它只是一系列我们需要练习的行为。
Lenny: 我非常喜欢这个观点。这个主题在我的播客上经常出现——那些认为自己对自己的处境负有责任的人,虽然没有造成这个处境,但仍然觉得有责任去应对它,最终往往更成功。还有一种概念就是做一个高能动性(high agency)的人。
社会抗体
尼尔·埃亚尔: 我认为这里有一点很重要,就是个体可以做很多事情。我认为在公司或组织内部,我们同样可以做很多事情,让我们的工作场所变得不可分心。但除此之外,我认为在社会层面也有一些事情可以做,这些叫做社会抗体(social antibodies)。社会抗体是指社会传播规范或礼仪,帮助我们克服原本反社会或破坏性的行为。好消息是,我们以前也面临过类似的情况,而且那个东西比社交媒体或技术分心有害得多、也上瘾得多。回想上世纪80年代,我是80年代长大的孩子,对那个年代记忆犹新。我记得小时候,我们客厅里有烟灰缸。
事实上,我认识的每个人家里客厅都有烟灰缸。今天听起来这简直不可思议。你无法想象走进别人家里然后点上一支烟。如果有人对你这么做,那简直疯了。今天没人会这么干。为什么?为什么会变成这样?为什么走进别人家里点支烟会变得如此极其失礼?并没有法律规定这在私人住宅里是违法的。真正改变的是我们围绕这些破坏性行为形成了新的规范、新的礼仪。我记得我妈妈收走了客厅里的烟灰缸扔掉了。有一天,她的一个朋友来做客,掏出一包烟正准备点,我妈妈说,“不行不行不行,抱歉。我们是不抽烟的。”
你看,她用这个词来描述自己。她称自己为”不抽烟的人”。如果你想抽烟,请到外面去。当然,这已经成为今天的常态。但正是像我妈这样的人率先逆流而动,抵制这些反社会行为。所以我认为,在变得不可分心这件事上,同样的事情也会发生。坦率地说,不管有没有我的书——我的书是为了加速这个过程——我们自然而然就会做到这一点,因为人类在整个历史上面对如何善用一项技术时,所做的就是适应和采纳(adapt and adopt)。我们通过形成新的行为、新的规范来适应技术。所以就像我妈说的,“嘿,我们是不抽烟的。这是我的身份。我是个不抽烟的人。如果你想抽烟,你得去外面。”
我们需要能够自在地说,“嘿,我们是不可分心的。“如果有人坐在你对面,你们正在好好聊着天,对方掏出手机,就说,“嘿,嘿,我们要聊天的话,就身心都在场吧。“这意味着在开会时把这些设备放到一边。不管是商务会议还是私人会面,我们都要设立这些无手机区域,因为这就是我们。我们想成为不可分心的人。我们采纳这些新的行为,而且我们已经看到这种情况正在发生。然后我们用这些新规范来适应这些行为,再采纳新的技术来对抗上一代技术的负面影响——我们一直都是这么做的。
事实上,现在正涌现大量科技公司,很多应用和创业公司都在赚钱,工具就是用来修复上一代技术带来的问题的。我的书里列出了各种工具——从 Forest 到 Focusmate,各种能帮我们让技术各归其位的工具,讽刺的是,这些恰恰是用更新、更好的技术来做到的。
打造不可分心的公司
Lenny: 你提到了一个观点,我想回过头来聊——你对”我们并没有自己以为的那样对技术和应用上瘾”这一点并不那么确信,我觉得这非常重要,我很想展开聊聊。不过在聊到那之前,我想接着刚才的线索继续谈谈在工作中变得不可分心,以及如何建立一个帮助团队成员减少分心的公司。你会给公司的领导者什么建议,来帮助员工更好地集中注意力?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 很多我过去合作过的人都说,“你看,我可以变得不可分心。我按照这四个步骤来,很好,我不可分心了。但如果我的公司不是不可分心的呢?我怎么帮助其他人变得不可分心?或者如果我的老板不可分心,他们不断地找我、给我发消息、催我要东西,我无法做出最好的工作?那我该怎么办?“所以书里有一整节讲如何打造一个不可分心(indistractable)的工作场所。我在写这本书的研究中发现,不可分心的公司有三个特征。第一个特征是,不可分心的公司为员工提供所谓的心理安全感(psychological safety)。这个概念来自哈佛商学院 Amy Edmondson 的研究。她发现,公司确实必须为员工提供心理安全感。
意思是说,如果你不能谈论一个问题,如果你不能举手说,“嘿,你知道吗?当我被期望每隔30秒回复每封邮件、每个通知时,我根本没法做出最好的工作。我做不到。“如果你不能谈论这个问题,那本身就是问题。我常说,分心是机能失调的症状。分心是机能失调的症状。在职场中,如果你不给员工这种心理安全感去说,“嘿,我们怎么处理这个问题,就像处理其他任何问题一样?“这本身就是问题。不是技术的问题,而是你无法在不担心别人觉得”哦,你就是懒”或者”你就是不想随时待命”或者”你就是想让别人替你干活”的情况下坐在一起讨论这个问题。
不,完全不是那么回事。问题很简单:我们需要像对待任何其他业务挑战一样,制定解决这个问题的方案。第二个特征是,员工需要一个讨论这个问题的平台。在为写这本书做调研时,我问人们,最让人分心的技术是什么?职场中你觉得哪项技术最让人分心?排在第二位的是某种群组消息服务,其中 Slack 被提到最多次。顺便说一下,排在第一位的是电子邮件。第二位是某种群组消息平台,其中 Slack 被提到最频繁。于是我去拜访了 Slack 总部。我去看望了我的朋友 Amir,他当时在那里工作。我敲开门,本以为会看到一个极其分心的公司,因为如果技术是问题的根源,没有谁比 Slack 自己用 Slack 用得更多了。
他们应该是地球上最分心的公司。但我发现完全不是那么回事,因为 Slack 实际上体现了这三个特征。他们给了人们心理安全感,给了人们讨论这些问题的平台。他们是怎么做的?他们在 Slack 公司内部创建了 Slack 频道。他们有一个叫”Beef Tweets”的频道,员工可以在里面吐槽对公司的意见。这并不是说管理层必须解决每一个问题,重点不在这里。关键是要承认员工的声音被听到了。他们是怎么做到的呢?令人惊讶的是,他们用的是 emoji。当员工提到的问题被解决了,他们会发绿色对勾的 emoji;如果是一个可能无法解决的问题,但他们想表示管理层已经看到了,就会发一双眼睛的 emoji。
给员工一个讨论的平台
所以,重要的是给员工某种讨论的平台。可以是一个 Slack 频道,也可以是——书中另一个案例研究是波士顿咨询集团(Boston Consulting Group),我以前在那工作过。他们从最让人分心的公司之一,变成了如今被评為全美最佳工作场所之一。他们有专门讨论 PTO——可预测休息时间(predictable time off)——的会议。他们也是通过遵循这些步骤,彻底改变了组织文化。第三个特征,也是三者中最重要的,是管理层必须以身作则,示范什么是不可分心的工作方式,因为文化就像水,是自上而下流淌的。人们会观察管理层的行为方式,然后按照那些期望来调整自己的行为。所以在 Slack 公司总部,在公司食堂里,用鲜粉色的大字写着:“努力工作,然后回家。”
尼尔·埃亚尔: 努力工作,然后回家。这不是你会在一个激进拼搏的硅谷创业公司里看到的东西,但你在那里就能看到,因为公司里的每一个人——这是在被收购之前,我不知道现在是什么情况,但在我写这本书的时候,情况确实如此——从 Stewart Butterfield 往下,从 CEO 往下,每个人都相信,要做出最好的工作,就必须不受分心干扰地工作。所以,如果你在晚上和周末使用 Slack,你会被告知,“我们这里不这样做。“你会受到批评,因为那不是公司文化的一部分。所以,真正关键的就是这三个特征:心理安全感、一个讨论这些问题的平台,以及管理层必须以身作则示范什么是不可分心的工作方式。
一个立竿见影的行动建议
Lenny: 我想转到另一个话题,但在此之前,有没有一件或者两件听众可以做的事情——今天、明天或者这周——能对他们专注和避免分心的能力产生显著的效果?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 我会说,理解这四个步骤:掌控内在触发器,为牵引力安排时间,反黑外在触发器,用承诺防止分心。如果你能在每个策略中各做一件小事,一件就够,那就是非常好的、非常好的第一步。你不需要做书里所有的事情。我给了你很多不同的选项,但在每个类别中各做一件小事,效果就已经非常大了。然后,在职场方面,制作时间盒日历的一个好处是,你拥有了一个看得见摸得着的东西。你有了一份可以打印出来展示给别人看的东西。我经常听到有人说,“好吧,我自己是不可分心的了,但我的老板不是,我该怎么办?老板不停地给我发消息、打扰我。我怎么掌控自己的时间?“
日程同步:管理你的管理者
你可以这样做。这叫作日程同步(schedule syncing),也叫向上管理。具体做法是这样的。你把日历打印出来,或者在屏幕上展示给你的老板,然后说,“老板,我周一早上需要占用你 10 分钟,可以吗?能给我 10 分钟吗?“然后,你要做的是给他们看你工作时间的时间盒日历。你会说,“好的,老板,你看,这是我处理邮件的时间,这是你让我去参加的那个会议的时间,这是我正在做的那个大项目的时间。现在,你看另一张纸?你看这里的另一个清单?这是你让我做的事情里,我塞不进日历的那些。“我在这里帮你做的事情,是帮你避免那条最糟糕的个人生产力建议。
最糟糕的生产力建议
最糟糕的个人生产力建议是:如果你想提高时间管理能力,你需要学会说”不”。这是什么愚蠢的建议?只有那种不会被解雇的终身教授才会给你这种愚蠢的建议。如果你对老板说”不”,你会被解雇的,那太蠢了。你不是对老板说”不”,你是请老板帮你排优先级。帮你排优先级,这正是老板最重要的工作。所以,你不是在说”不”,你是在说,“这是我的日历,这是你让我做的那堆事情,帮我排个优先级。“接下来会发生什么呢?你的老板会看着你的日历说,“你知道吗?那个会议,你其实不需要参加。但那张纸上列的那个事情,重要多了。你能把它换一下吗?”
尼尔·埃亚尔: 让我告诉你,我创办过三家公司,目前已经卖掉了两家。老板们、管理者们会对你感激不尽,因为我们都在想,“你到底在做什么?“我知道我们要信任员工,等等等等,是的。但我们还是会想,“嘿,你说要做的那件事还没做完。为什么?你时间花在哪里了?“所以,如果你能主动和老板坐下来,让他们了解你如何支配自己的时间——再说一次,这可能只需要 10 分钟——你做这个日程同步的过程,不仅在职场中效果非常好,在家里也非常管用。比如我和妻子以前会因为谁去接女儿、你为什么没倒垃圾这种事吵架。我们之所以有这些冲突,是因为我们没有同步各自的日程。
现在呢,我们每周大约花五分钟。周日晚上,我们坐在一起。我看看你的日程,你看看我的日程。“好的,现在我们同步了。太棒了。“仅仅通过这个简单的日程同步过程,我们就避免了很多冲突。
优先级排序与沟通
Lenny: 我很喜欢这个建议。我向别人推荐的也是类似的方法来和他们的管理者对齐。基本上,我称之为向上管理(managing up)。我的一个管理者教我的方法是,我称之为优先级排序加沟通。你可以排了优先级但不沟通,你的管理者会想,“搞什么?你为什么没做这件事?“你说,“我排了优先级,但我从没告诉你。这是我放在清单上的位置。“或者你也可以光沟通,比如直接说”不”,但正如你所说,那样行不通。最好的组合就是,“这是我在做的事情,这是我优先处理它的原因,让我知道你的想法。你同意吗?你想把它提前?还是往后挪?”
尼尔·埃亚尔: 没错。以及投入多少。我之所以讨厌待办清单,其中一个原因是待办清单只是一份产出的清单。它是你想要完成的事情,但没有投入就不可能有产出。如果你去找一个面包师,比如你孩子要办生日派对,你说,“嘿,我要两打纸杯蛋糕。“面包师会说,“好的,我需要面粉,我需要糖,我需要黄油。我需要所有这些投入才能做出产出。“但不知怎么的,到了知识工作中,我们就只知道不断增加产出,而不考虑投入。知识工作的投入是什么?只有两样东西:你的时间和你的注意力。仅此而已。你的时间和你的注意力。所以,为了获得产出,我们必须思考投入,这就是为什么日程同步和时间盒如此重要。同样,这是待办清单永远无法给你的东西。
我们真的对社交媒体上瘾了吗?
Lenny: 太好了。好,最后一个话题,我想花点时间聊聊 Hooked,我觉得这个话题完全可以单独做一期播客。你第一本书非常成功,完全可以成为独立的一整集。本质上,Hooked 这本书讲的是如何让人们对自己的产品上瘾。我知道你在这个问题上有一个非常反主流的观点:我们真的对科技上瘾了吗?它真的在损害心理健康吗?诸如此类。所以,这是”反主流角”。我很想听听你的观点——为什么我们并没有像人们认为的那样对社交媒体和科技上瘾?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 好的,这里面涉及的内容很多。让我先解释一下 Hooked 和 Indistractable 各自的定位。Hooked 讲的是如何为有益的行为打造习惯性产品。我的核心观点是,在健康行为领域,我们需要更多地运用这些技术。我们希望人们对语言学习应用上瘾——Duolingo 就是我以前的一个客户。他们找到了让人们沉迷于学习新语言的方法,这比我们过去学语言的方式好太多了。让人们爱上锻炼——Hooked 中的一个案例研究是 Fitbot,这是一款帮助人们养成锻炼习惯的应用。让人们沉迷于个人理财应用来帮助存钱,让人们沉迷于企业软件。这些都是好事,对吧?如果它能帮助你提高效率,帮助你过上更幸福、更健康的生活,那太好了。
所以,没有人担心人们会对企业 SaaS 上瘾。这根本不是问题。市面上绝大多数产品,它们根本不用担心让人上瘾的问题。绝大多数企业面临的真正问题是——没有人在乎。他们有一款真正能改善人们生活的优秀产品,但人们就是不使用它。所以,核心在于如何让人们不断回到你的产品或服务中,不是因为他们不得不来,而是因为他们自己想来。在 Hooked 中,我所做的本质上是窃取硅谷巨头的秘密。我 literally 把它们的心理学机制拆解出来,弄清楚是什么让它们的产品如此出色,以便每个行业中致力于改善人们生活的人都能把这些习惯机制用于好的目的。这就是 Hooked 的意义所在。所以,如果 Hooked 是关于养成好习惯,Indistractable 则是关于如何戒掉坏习惯,但针对的是不同的产品——我们想用锻炼应用、SaaS 应用来建立好习惯,同时也想戒掉坏习惯。
所以,这两本书是一体两面,不是对立的,而是互补的。我认为我特别有资格同时写这两本书,因为我知道这些技术在哪些地方有效,也知道它们在哪些地方无效。我可以告诉你,写完 Hooked 之后,我深知这些技术确实非常好,非常有效。但它们没有那么神。这不是精神控制,我们没有在劫持人们的大脑。外面有很多人,很多科技批评家,靠吓唬人赚了很多钱,拿到了很多演讲邀约,因为人们就喜欢那种东西。我大学时辅修新闻学,新闻学的第一条法则就是——流血的事上头条。所以,如果你告诉人们”科技正在融化你的大脑,它超级邪恶,让我们全部关掉吧”,你能获得多得多的关注、媒体报道和 TED 演讲邀请。
这就是经典的”天要塌了”的故事。人们就喜欢那一套。真相要微妙得多,但没有人喜欢微妙。没有人喜欢每一个复杂问题的答案——永远都是一样的:“看情况,看情况。“对某些人来说,过度使用技术确实是个真正的问题。对于那些病态性成瘾的人来说,这确实可能非常有害,因为成瘾的定义是什么?成瘾是对某种行为或物质的强迫性依赖,且对使用者造成伤害。这个比例大约占人口的 3% 到 5%,属于病态性成瘾。但我们到处滥用”成瘾”这个词。什么都是成瘾。我妻子从 DSW 订了一双鞋,盒子上写着”警告,内含成瘾性物品”。那是鞋啊,各位。鞋。我们通过将这种行为病理化、医学化,结果现在什么都是成瘾了。“哦,你喜欢玩 Candy Crush?那是成瘾。你喜欢社交媒体?那是成瘾。”
不,并不是对所有人都成瘾。就像很多人晚餐会喝一杯葡萄酒,但并不是每个人都是酒鬼。那我们凭什么认为每个使用社交媒体的人都是成瘾呢?他们不是。但我们就是喜欢这个说法。我们太喜欢了。为什么?因为”成瘾”这个词本身就来自拉丁语 addictio,意思是奴隶。所以告诉自己”我被奴役了,我的大脑被劫持了,我的注意力被偷走了,全是硅谷的错”要容易得多。而不愿意说”等等,这其实不是成瘾,而是分心”——因为一旦承认是分心,我就要承担个人责任了。我就必须采取行动了。那太不好玩了。我就不能怪别人了吗?但对绝大多数人来说——排除那些真正病态性成瘾的人(顺便说一下,我确实认为他们需要特殊保护),排除儿童(我同样认为儿童需要特殊保护)——如果你不属于这两类人,这就是一个个人责任问题,值得庆幸的是,只要掌握了正确的工具,我们所有人都能克服它。
Lenny: 哇,这段反主流角内容真够劲爆的。真希望我们有更多时间深入讨论这些。所以,基本上,我经常刷 Twitter,经常看手机。你的意思是,本质上不要把它叫做成瘾。我只是在找更多的东西来分散注意力,以逃避我在做困难工作时感受到的那些不舒服的情绪。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 完全正确。再次强调,这不意味着是你的错,但这确实是你的责任,正如我们之前讨论的,因为如果不是你的责任,那是谁的责任呢?我们喜欢简单的叙事。我们喜欢简单的故事——有坏事发生了,所以谁是坏人。但有时候坏人也是我们自己,或者至少我们自己在承担责任方面有一份角色要扮演。所以,如果这真的是无法克服的问题,如果你确实无能为力——比如儿童,我认为儿童是受保护的群体。我十五岁的女儿不能走进酒吧点一杯金汤力。她不能走进赌场开始玩二十一点。她还没准备好。所以,我确实认为我们需要法规来保护儿童。我也认为我们需要对真正病态性成瘾的人提供保护。
如果你知道人们在你的产品上成瘾,你确实有道德责任。过去十年我一直在写关于这个话题的文章,提出了我认为需要的具体立法,即所谓的使用与滥用政策(use and abuse policy),针对病态性成瘾的人群。但对于我们 95% 的人来说,这不是成瘾。这是我们完全可以掌控的事情——只要我们愿意,只要我们有正确的工具。
Lenny: 非常引人深思。在我们进入精彩的快问快答环节之前,你还有什么想分享或想留给听众的吗?
一个错误重复超过一次就是一个决定
尼尔·埃亚尔: 有一句我很喜欢的话,来自 Paulo Coelho,他说:“一个错误重复超过一次就是一个决定。“一个错误重复超过一次就是一个决定——说得太好了。我认为是时候让我们意识到,如果我们不对这个问题采取行动,我们就是在选择做一个容易分心的人。一个不可分心的人和一个容易分心的人之间的区别在于,不可分心的人会说:“啊,好吧,我看到你刚才让我分心了。我注意到我被分心了。我不会让这种事再次发生。“我们要被社交媒体或其他什么东西分心多少次,才会说”好,我今天就要采取措施,防止明天再被分心”?这才是一个不可分心的人的定义。所以,如果你想把我 Indistractable 中的工作浓缩成一句箴言,那就是:冲动的解药是远见。冲动的解药是远见。从根本上说,分心是一个冲动控制问题。仅此而已,而且它和其他技能一样,是可以学习的。
我们学习技能。为什么我们认为自己应该生来就具备这种对抗分心的天赋呢?它像任何其他技能一样。因此,冲动的解药是远见。如果我们提前计划,如果我们知道自己今天会采取措施防止明天分心,那么没有什么分心是我们无法克服的。
Lenny: 我喜欢。我喜欢这种赋权与能动性的信息。我觉得这非常适用于产品管理,也适用于收听这个播客的许多人。这只是另一个例子,说明即使世界可能让我们的生活变得更艰难,你仍然可以有所作为。我非常喜欢这个普遍的信息:你能够有所作为。说到这里,我们进入了一个非常精彩的快问快答环节。你准备好了吗?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 我准备好了。
Lenny: 好的。你向别人推荐最多的两三本书是什么?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 有一本书叫《炼金术》(Alchemy),作者是罗里·萨瑟兰,我很喜欢。这是一本很棒的书,深入探讨了各种体验的心理学。所以强烈推荐这本。而我现在正在读一本书,实际上就是我自己带来的,叫《体验机器》(The Experience Machine),作者是安迪·克拉克,我读得很享受。
Lenny: 你最近最喜欢的电影或电视节目是什么?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 好的,虽然不是很最近,但这是我最喜欢的电影之一,却没什么人看过,那就是《太阳帝国》。你看过《太阳帝国》吗?
Lenny: 没有。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 好吧,你得去看看。这是我最喜欢的电影之一,克里斯蒂安·贝尔主演,那时候他大概只有十二三岁。史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格执导,约翰·马尔科维奇主演。太不可思议的电影,不知为什么没人看。所以如果你是克里斯蒂安·贝尔的粉丝,我是的,我认为他是一个很棒的演员,《太阳帝国》,经典、很棒的电影。
Lenny: 你在招聘时有没有最喜欢问别人的面试问题?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 我总体上不太喜欢面试。我非常喜欢小型项目。所以我经常做的是付钱让人做一个小型项目,然后我可以看到他们的工作产出。我发现这比我能想到的任何问题都好得多。
Lenny: 太棒了。其他人也提到过这个确切的想法,特别是在一家公司。我想到的是 Linea,他们付钱让人在公司里做一个小项目。他们有点像公司的承包商,做一段时间。
尼尔·埃亚尔: 是的。
Lenny: 你最近有没有发现什么特别喜欢的产品,无论是应用还是实物?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 我几个月前去了一趟日本,我开始迷上了所有日本的东西,所以我买了上百种不同的小工具来帮助我在家做日本菜。所以我有这个芝麻研磨器什么的。日本人非常擅长为一切事物制作精巧装置,所以我把它归到”所有日本产品”这个大类里。
Lenny: 我用的是无印良品(Muji)的笔,这是一个很棒的日本品牌。它们就像……
尼尔·埃亚尔: 是的,我们有无印良品的笔。对,正是。我也有一些。非常棒。
Lenny: 日本太厉害了。你有没有最喜欢的人生箴言,经常回顾或与朋友分享的,无论是工作还是生活方面,你觉得真的很有用?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 我确实有几个每天重复给自己的咒语。其中一个是我的人生目的。我的人生目的是解释这个世界,让它变得更好。现在,这可能不适用于每个人。这是我个人的生命箴言。它帮助我重新调整和聚焦我活着的目的,就是服务他人,让世界变得更美好。我做到这一点的方式是解释这个世界,让它变得更好。所以当然,这不是适用于每个人的,但我认为坐下来思考”等等,我人生的目的到底是什么?“确实很有用。所以对我来说,拥有这个咒语——我每天都会像一个小小的祈祷一样重复它——我很世俗。我不相信任何超自然的东西,但我认为从有组织的宗教实践中有很多智慧可以借鉴,其中之一就是这个世俗祈祷,提醒我的使命。
Lenny: 我喜欢这个。最后一个问题。你写了一本关于培养习惯的书。你现在最好和最坏的习惯是什么?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 这很棘手。我想我难以回答的原因是,习惯和例程之间有区别,很多人认为是习惯的东西其实并不是真正的习惯。所以我本来想说锻炼。我以前临床上是肥胖的,现在我锻炼。但那严格来说不是习惯,因为它并不是在很少或没有有意识思考的情况下完成的。它是一个例程,但我认为我最好的例程之一可能是我终于,此生第一次,真正投入到了身体健身中。我可能还没有完美的六块腹肌,但在四十五岁时大概有四块腹肌。我为此感到相当自豪,我这么说不是为了吹嘘。我这么说是在证明一个事实:当你说你将要做某件事并且真的做到了,感觉是多么美好。
就跟随你的意图生活吧。我不擅长运动。我从来都不擅长运动。我仍然不太喜欢锻炼,但我做到了,而且吃得健康,因为我说了我会。所以我认为那可能是我最好的例程,而最坏的习惯可能是我仍然会感受到这些冲动。如果习惯的定义是一种很少或没有有意识思考的冲动或行为,你最好相信我感受到了检查Instagram的冲动,只要一分钟或者看看这个。我仍然会感受到那种冲动。我认为不同的是,现在我知道我会感受到那些。我知道这是我日常体验的一部分,我有那些做法在那里,这样它们就不会占上风。
Lenny: 顺着这个思路,我本来想问但忘了的问题是,你有多少次没有做你日历上的事情?有多少百分比的事情没有按计划完成?
尼尔·埃亚尔: 当事情发生剧烈变化时,我往往会脱离轨道。所以第一次,如果我在日历上做了很大的改变,我更可能脱离轨道。我越能周与周之间只做小幅度的日历调整,我就越能达到百分之百地做我说的要做的事。但我想说,平均来看,一旦我有了一个大致固定的周程,我大概有百分之多少的任务会稍微晚一点开始,或者我会开始,但当然关键是确保下次不会再发生。
但当然是有一些灵活空间的。所以当这种情况发生时,比如说有百分之十的时间我脱离轨道,那么我会说,“你知道吗?我给写作留的时间太多了。一小时写作太多了。也许我应该从四十五分钟开始。让我看看我能不能完成那个时间块。我稍微调整一下,因为我还有其他事情要处理。“所以那是日内的小调整,而在写《不可分心》之前,那是各种乱七八糟的事情。有一半的时间我都会脱离轨道。
Lenny: 精彩。我原本还想问之前是什么样子。尼尔,我想我们兑现了我们的承诺。这里至少有十几种非常战术性的方法,可以让你变得更加不可分心、更加专注。非常感谢你来到这里。最后两个问题。朋友们可以在哪里了解更多你所做的事情?在哪买你的书?最后,听众怎样才能买到你的产品?
Nir Eyal: 谢谢你的好评。我的网站是 nirandfar.com。拼写和我的名字一样,nirandfar.com。我的两本书,《上瘾:如何打造习惯养成类产品》和《不可分心:如何控制你的注意力并选择你的人生》,在所有卖书的地方都能买到。如果你能为我做什么的话,那就是变得不可分心。说实话,我不在乎你是否买书。如果你能够采纳其中的一些做法,并帮助改变我们都是受害者的这种心态——我们被科技公司劫持了——如果你能够开始传播这样的观点:这些做法以某种微小的方式改善了你的生活,并告诉其他人,就像我妈妈传播关于吸烟的观点一样。我认为我们都应该做同样的事情。
Lenny: 我一挂断就会开始做这件事。尼尔,非常感谢你来到这里。
Nir Eyal: 谢谢。
Lenny: 大家再见。
非常感谢你的收听。如果你觉得这个内容有帮助,可以在 Apple Podcasts、Spotify 或你喜欢的播客应用上订阅节目。也请考虑给我们评分或留下评论,这真的能帮助其他听众找到这个播客。你可以在 lennyspodcast.com 找到所有往期节目或了解更多关于节目的信息。下期见。
术语表
| 原文 | 中文 |
|---|---|
| 10-minute rule | 十分钟法则(10-minute rule) |
| adapt and adopt | 适应和采纳(adapt and adopt) |
| Alchemy | 《炼金术》(书名) |
| Amy Edmondson | Amy Edmondson(哈佛商学院教授,心理安全感研究先驱) |
| Andy Clark | 安迪·克拉克 |
| Beef Tweets | Beef Tweets(Slack 内部的员工吐槽频道) |
| Boston Consulting Group | 波士顿咨询集团(Boston Consulting Group) |
| Carol Dweck | Carol Dweck(斯坦福大学心理学家,Mindset 作者) |
| Christian Bale | 克里斯蒂安·贝尔 |
| cold start | 冷启动 |
| concentration crown | 专注皇冠(concentration crown) |
| contrarian corner | 反主流角(contrarian corner) |
| deep work time | 深度工作时间(deep work time) |
| Dorothy Parker | Dorothy Parker(美国作家、诗人, quote 来源) |
| effort pact | 努力承诺(effort pact) |
| ego depletion | 自我损耗(ego depletion) |
| emotion regulation problem | 情绪调节问题 |
| Empire of the Sun | 《太阳帝国》(电影名) |
| external trigger | 外在触发器 |
| hack back | 反黑 |
| Hemingway | 海明威 |
| high agency | 高能动性(high agency) |
| Hooked | Hooked(书名,全称 Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products) |
| identity pact | 身份承诺(identity pact) |
| impulse control | 冲动控制 |
| Indistractable | Indistractable(书名,全称 Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life) |
| indistractable workplace | 不可分心的工作场所(indistractable workplace) |
| intent | 意图 |
| internal trigger | 内在触发器 |
| Jeremy Bentham | Jeremy Bentham(英国哲学家,功利主义创始人) |
| John Malkovich | 约翰·马尔科维奇 |
| Lenny | Lenny(播客主持人) |
| Linea | Linea(公司名) |
| managing up | 向上管理(managing up) |
| Mindset | Mindset(书名) |
| Muji | 无印良品 |
| Nir Eyal | 尼尔·埃亚尔(作者,著有 Hooked、Indistractable,首次出现保留原文) |
| Paulo Coelho | Paulo Coelho(巴西作家,著有 The Alchemist) |
| planning fallacy | 规划谬误(planning fallacy) |
| Plato | 柏拉图 |
| pleasure principle | 快乐原则(pleasure principle) |
| pre-commitment | 预先承诺(pre-commitment) |
| predictable time off | 可预测休息时间(predictable time off) |
| price pact | 代价承诺(price pact) |
| psychological safety | 心理安全感(psychological safety) |
| reactive work | 反应性工作(reactive work) |
| reflective work | 反思性工作(reflective work) |
| Rory Sutherland | 罗里·萨瑟兰 |
| schedule syncing | 日程同步(schedule syncing) |
| Sigmund Freud | Sigmund Freud(奥地利精神病学家、精神分析学派创始人) |
| social antibodies | 社会抗体(social antibodies) |
| Steven Spielberg | 史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格 |
| Stewart Butterfield | Stewart Butterfield(Slack 联合创始人、前 CEO) |
| surf the urge | 冲动冲浪(surf the urge) |
| The Experience Machine | 《体验机器》(书名) |
| time box | 时间盒 |
| traction | 牵引力 |
| trahare | trahare(拉丁词根,意为”拉”) |
| use and abuse policy | 使用与滥用政策(use and abuse policy) |
此文档由 AI 分片翻译(translate_long_document)