如何释放你的产品领导力 | Ken Norton,前谷歌
How to unlock your product leadership skills | Ken Norton, Ex-Google
Ken Norton: Part of what I think is pretty exciting about product management is you are a leader from day one in product management. There’s leadership all over the place, but that’s your job. You’re a leader. You don’t have any formal authority, but you’re a leader. You’re expected to lead
Welcome Ken Norton
Lenny: Over his 14-year career at Google. Ken Norton led product teams at built Google Docs, Google Calendar, Google Maps, and even did a stint at Google Ventures. The products that he’s helped craft are now used by over three billion people.
Today Ken is a full-time executive coach specializing at working with product leaders. In our conversation, we cover the creative versus reactive mindset, why the art of product management is much more important than the science of product management, how to get over imposter syndrome, the most common PM blind spots, how to find a coach and how to know if a coach is right for you, and so much more. I hope that you enjoy this episode with Ken Norton.
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Welcome to the podcast, Ken. I am so honored to have you here. You’re such a legend of product managers and product management circles. Your writing has had so much influence on so many people, including myself. If nothing else, you’ve led to many donuts being purchased by tech companies over the years. So thanks for being here.
Ken Norton: Thank you and thanks for having me. The feeling’s mutual. Obviously a big fan of your work and all the things you’ve done for the community and this podcast, which has been fantastic. So humbled and excited to be here. Yes, I do think that I’m at least maybe partially responsible for at least a lot of consumption of donuts over these years.
From Engineer to Coach
Lenny: Are you tired of people asking you about donuts?
What Is Executive Coaching
Ken Norton: I’ll never get tired of it. Well, back when we met with people in person, people would bring me donuts, and I never got tired of it, nor did any of the people that I worked with who got to eat those donuts get tired of it. So, no, no, I’ll never get tired of donuts.
Why People Come to Me
Lenny: Someone on Twitter asked what’s a digital equivalent of bringing the donuts now that we’re in a remote world. Do you have any advice on that?
The Driving Metaphor
Ken Norton: That’s a great question. I’m not even sure if the physical equivalent of donuts is donuts. I mean when I came up with that, I think it was really to be a metaphor around being a servant leader, bringing whatever needs to be done, filling the white space, filling the gaps, whatever needed to happen. So it doesn’t always have to be donuts.
I did put that question out to some of the readers in my newsletter a while ago, maybe earlier in the pandemic, and got a lot of really interesting ideas. Maybe that was at a place where people had a little bit more patience for happy hours over Zoom and stuff like that. Maybe that patient set is worn out. The idea that I love the most was actual donuts. There was a PM who got DoorDash codes and found the best local donut place for each of the people on the team and basically sent them a code and said, “Click here and order the donuts to come to your house whenever you want them.” So maybe at least partially the digital equivalent of donuts might be actual donuts.
The Video Game Career Metaphor
Lenny: Decentralized donuts.
Creative vs Reactive Leadership
Ken Norton: Decentralized donuts, on the blockchain.
From Liked to Trusted
Lenny: Oh boy, let’s not go there.
Ken Norton: I don’t know what that is.
The Power of Coaching and Feedback
Lenny: So I was perusing your career path ahead of this chat. You had this pretty wild career. You were an engineer initially, and then you were CTO at a part of NBC. Then you’re a founder. Then you spent 14 years at Google working on products that folks may have heard of, like Google Docs and Google Calendar and Google Maps. You’ve also done a bunch of writing. Then more recently, you’ve become a full-time executive coach focusing on product people.
I have so many questions I’d love to ask you about your career and learnings along the way, and the writing. But I’d actually like to spend most of our time talking about the coaching and things that you’ve learned through that experience. And so, I have a couple questions just off the bat. What does an executive coach actually do? What kinds of things are you helping people with? What does a session look like? Then, two, just how did you decide you wanted to be a coach full time after leaving Google?
Reactive to Creative Career Shift
Ken Norton: Yeah, that’s a great question. I think coaching does mean a lot of different things. I mean it depends on who you talk to. It is a little bit of who you are, your style, your approach. Some people are calling themselves coaches, doing more mentoring, more advice. Other people are maybe more like me, more peer coaching.
To me, I see executive coaching as a partnership or creative partnership. It’s all about helping my client reach their goals, their potential, whatever that means to them. So an important thing about coaching is the definition of success does belong to the client. I don’t have an agenda. I don’t have a set of things I’m trying to share, teach, learn. It really is fundamentally up to them, which means every client is completely different. They have different sense of where they want to go. Different barriers that might be standing in their way.
My coaching practice, I coach the whole person. So there is no restriction on what we might talk on, what we might work on together. It’s not limited to product. It’s not even limited to work or even leadership. It’s wherever they want to go, whatever change, transformation means to them.
As coaches, we bring a bunch of tools to the conversation. The most important ones, honestly, are probably listening and curiosity, intuition, open-mindedness, really there to help challenge them to see things in different ways, help them tap into their imagination, figure out when there might be underlying beliefs, help them connect dots that need to be connected, help them disconnect things that feel connected. There’s a lot of exploration to it.
It’s very jazz-like. My love of jazz has been shared before, but there is an improvisation to it. What coaching is really powerful is you may not necessarily know where you’re going when you start and you follow wherever there is meaning and change for that individual, wherever is they want to go.
The question around what brought me into it was actually interesting. I, honestly working with my own executive coach, started to figure out what it is that mattered to me, what I liked, what my values were, what my purpose was, started to unpack that I love deeply connecting with people and I love helping people change and grow.
The moments when I had the opportunity to do that as a manager, as a product leader were the most fulfilling parts of my career. And so, I started to unpack that and figure out what would it look like if that was what I did.
The other part of the journey was, for several years at Google, I worked at GV. It’s Google Ventures, Google’s venture capital arm. I had the opportunity to work with founders and product leaders in the portfolio. I started to simultaneously recognize the shortcomings of giving advice, because it seemed like, well, I can meet with these folks, I could tell them what I did, I could tell them what Google did, and that’ll answer all their questions.
You start to realize advice is not as powerful as you might think it is. It’s a little bit like cotton candy. Doesn’t have a lot of nutrition. You get a nice sugar high. You feel great, both sides feel happy, but then a couple weeks later, a couple months later, nothing’s really changed.
That’s because it doesn’t often confront the real problem. It often isn’t relevant. Like what worked for us at Google may not have worked anywhere else. It may not even have worked at Google for all I know. I feel like there were years at Google where all we were doing was making things worse by showing up and we should just all have gone sat on a beach somewhere, and the company would’ve grown even faster. So who knows?
I mean so it was these just twin pillars of wanting to figure out where I could do what I like the most, and then also recognizing that where growth comes from is less around advice and telling people what to do and more about helping them figure out their own path, their own way. Then that ultimately you brought me into, hey, I want to do this full time, and that’s what I’ve been doing ever since.
Lenny: When do you find people come to you to get advice and coaching? What kind of clients do you find you end up working with?
Inner Work: The Power of Mindset Shifts
Ken Norton: That’s a great question. Generally speaking, I work with senior product leaders, however you want to define that. Typically, these are chief product officers, VPs of product at startups, largely director level and above at bigger tech companies, some CEOs, other C-level execs in there. I think really anyone that considers themselves in a product leadership role.
Often they come to me because there’s a career milestone or a crossroads, and it could be that they now find themselves in the position of being a CPO for the first time. Maybe there’s a new industry change, or they’ve gone from a big company to a startup and a have this sense of what got me here isn’t going to get me there. That’s oftentimes when they reach out for coaching.
I think my clients are also very introspective and surrounded by great mentors and advisors and have all sorts of people in their life who can help them, but are realizing that a lot of the work is going to be internal work that’s going to get them to the next level. And so, this transformation is going to be just as much what I need to do as who I am. That’s often when people come to me.
Goals: External to Internal Definition
Lenny: You said that the way you coach is about the whole person. I’m curious … I don’t know if there’s an answer to this, but when people come to get help and coaching, how much of their blocks, I guess, are rooted in their regular life versus skills, technical skills, and more like the PME, product leadership side, if that makes sense?
Ken Norton: Yeah, I think … Well, let me maybe try to illustrate this with an example from my life right now. Indulge me, I’m going to go a little bit left field here, but I promise [inaudible 00:11:45].
Coaching vs Mentoring
Lenny: Let’s do it.
Accessibility of Coaching
Ken Norton: So we are teaching our 16-year-old son how to drive. So he just got his driver’s permit. Do you remember when you learned how to drive, Lenny?
Recommended Coaching Resources
Lenny: I do. Yup.
Common Blind Spots for PMs
Ken Norton: Yeah. Yeah. So it’s scary. I don’t know if you know how your parents might have felt, but-
Developing Interpersonal Skills
Lenny: Nope, [inaudible 00:12:06].
Ken Norton: … [inaudible 00:12:06] on the other side of it. It’s a whole new journey. Look, he’s a smart kid. He’s going to do great. But it helped me actually think back to when I learned how to drive. Actually, what I think is maybe a little bit more important here is before you learn to drive. And so, if you think about it as a … When you’re a kid, cars just go places. You get strapped in and you just wait and you get impatient. Then eventually you go somewhere. You’re not even consciously aware of the concept of driving. Just cars just happen and you’re not even aware of it.
As you get a little bit older, you start to become curious. You start to figure out, oh, that wheel has something to do with it. You turn the wheel. Maybe you start to understand there’s pedals. But it also just seems really simple. Just like you get in the car and you drive it and you go somewhere. Maybe as you get older, you end up maybe even being a little bit of a smart Alec about how easy it looks and you start talking to your parents about, like, “It doesn’t look hard. I can do this.”
Now suddenly you’re behind the wheel of the car. This is what my son is doing. Wow. Is it different than you thought it was going to be? Is it way more complicated? You have to remember check your mirrors. You’ve got to look before you turn. You didn’t even know what that sign meant. You didn’t know what those stripes meant. It is just overloading with complication and your internal mindset for confronting this challenge is not going to suit you the way you used to approach the world.
Maybe to put it in product leadership, product terms, everyone around you has got some real pithy advice about the things you’re forgetting to do. It’s like, “Hey, don’t forget to check your mirror.” Everyone’s got a framework. It’s like, “Ah, do you know about the 10:00 and 2:00 framework?” “Wait, what’s the 10:00 and 2:00 framework?” “Oh, you just put your left hand on the 10:00, your right hand on the 2:00. That’s the only thing you’re missing. Here’s a great medium post about that.” Then you’re like, “This is a problem is I have not adapted to the complexity of the world around me.”
And so, there is this sense that what is interesting about driving is the world hasn’t gotten any more complex. Driving’s always been driving. But now your place in the world has shifted such that the internal meaning-making and self-complexity that is required requires a complete reboot of the internal operating system in order to allow you to thrive there.
And so, when you talk about this question of how much of this is skills, how much of this is tactics, how much of this is learning versus how much is internal growth, the answer is it’s both, but the shift that is required is very much around how your inner self can make meaning and respond to the demands of the world around you so that you can succeed and thrive in this mindset shift that happens.
The skills matter, but by this point, you’re beyond the place where you’ve learned the skills. There’s mastering the skills, but there is this sense of what developmental psychologists call self-complexity, the ability to respond and adapt to that.
And so, I think we go through a lot of those shifts in our career. The driving example is simple. Actually, probably too simple, because the world is actually getting more complex for those of us that work in product. I mean every day something changes. It forces us to respond and adapt. So there aren’t even rules of the road in product.
But I think this is what we’re talking about, this question of the internal operating system I develop my ability to restructure it such that I can succeed given the demands that have been placed upon me.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Lenny: What an amazing analogy. Totally hits home in a good and bad way. It’s a really good segue to something I wanted to chat about, something that we talked about before the recording, which is what you’re finding to be one of the bigger unlocks for your clients. It’s also a concept that you’ve been spending a lot of time refining and you’re finding is helping people shift, and specifically shift their leadership mindset. And so, I’d love to just hear you talk through your thinking there.
Inner Critic and Self-Talk
Ken Norton: Yeah, it does sort lead into this. Maybe another analogy that might work for your listeners, if you think about product management, your career arc and where you are challenged from a mindset perspective, in some ways it does feel like the early part of your career. You’re learning to play a video game. Hopefully there’s a tutorial. Your first job is learning the ropes, somebody’s teaching you. You maybe have managers that are giving you simple little missions that you can succeed at and if you fail, the consequences aren’t bad.
It does feel like a little bit … And I felt this way, and I talked to a lot of people earlier in their career. It does feel like you’re trying to learn the rules of the game, trying to figure out the physics. You want to run up the score.
You get better at playing the game. You fail, but you start to develop some confidence that when you fail, you’ll learn from it. You’ll get better. You get really good at the game. You get promoted, you get rewarded, you unlock new levels, teach other people how to play the game. You start to feel really awesome about yourself.
But then suddenly you’re put in a place where you realize that the rules of the game aren’t so black and white. Maybe there’s a long delay now between when you get to see what you did and the score of it. Things start to behave in unexpected ways. The physics start to get weird. You’re on a level where you’re floating. I don’t know what the right metaphor is here.
But you start to recognize that there’s been this huge change. The most frightening part about it is you look around and everyone is looking at you like you’re the designer of the game, and you thought you were playing. That’s often what it feels like when you move into a leadership role, to come back to this sense of what got me here is not going to get me there.
I work with a lot of leaders and sometimes that’s come with a pretty significant cost, this juxtaposition, maybe your happiness, your health, your marriage. There’s been this existential crisis of I don’t know if I love this anymore. Maybe it leads to burnout. Maybe it’s not even that dire. It’s just a sense of, well, I’m looking around and I need to be something. I need to unlock something else to continue on this path. There is a sense of stuckness that comes from that.
What I’ve come to realize is this is the precipice of, I think, this pretty fundamental concept in leadership. I’m not the originator of this, so this has come up again and again and again. It’s not new. It’s going to sound familiar. It’s like the flood myth from Gilgamesh showing up in all this oral histories of the world. It’s not new.
Conscious Leadership Group, an organization that I’m big fan of, they call it above the line versus below the line. Brene Brown calls it daring versus armored leadership, sage versus warrior. Even in the world of sports, there’s playing to win versus playing not to lose. It’s this concept that’s come up again and again. Leadership Circle calls it creative versus reactive, and that’s the term I’m going to use. I like that.
Here’s the distinction. Very simple. Are you responding to the world from a place of fear, where you see problems and threats, you want to be right, you want to be liked, you’re defensive as an inward approach, or are you responding to the world from a place of openness, possibility, curiosity, passion, growth, purpose? Very simple concept. Pretty much everyone understands what I mean. It makes sense.
Everyone also then immediately says a couple of different things. “That sounds amazing. I’d rather have that,” or, “Here are moments when I’ve felt that,” but that’s usually followed up by a couple of questions. “I don’t know if that works. It doesn’t sound very effective. Is it possible?” Then how do you that?
The effective part is actually a question we can answer, which is, yes, it is more effective. Bob Anderson, Bill Adams are two management scientists who’ve written extensively, done a whole bunch of research, and they have looked at every possible dimension you can imagine of success, both leadership capability, they’ve looked at revenue, brand, profitability, everything, and it’s shown, yes, this creative form of leadership is in every possible way positively correlated with success and reactive leadership is negatively correlated. So, yes, it works yet.
Yet, according to their research, some 75% of leaders are primarily operating reactively. So most leaders are operating from a place of fear, reacting, seeing problems, and threats. That’s because that other question of how do you do it is such a hard one to answer. It’s not an easy thing that you flip the switch of. It goes back to this notion of redesigning that internal operating system, so how you confront the world, what underlying belief systems and assumptions you have that are causing you to operate from that place.
Lenny: Can I ask you a quick question? Just to clarify the two sides, what’s a sign that you’re in the reactive side of things? I think one thing you said is you’re worrying a lot about how people think about you and make sure that they like you. Is there anything else that’s going to tell a listener, “Oh, maybe I’m falling into this trap”?
Inner Critic and Coaching Techniques
Ken Norton: Yeah, you’ve nailed it, which is that fear, like operating from a place of anxiety. There are different ways, depending on our mindsets, our approaches. I like the word postures because it seems to click different ways that we retreat into this reactive mode. Fear and anxiety is the way. That’s how you know. You’re just like, “Ugh, I’m below the line.” I’m just like I’m seeing problems. I’m seeing threats.
Our brains are hardwired to do that, so it’s not like that’s wrong. These are brains that learn to do that, I don’t know, on the tundra being chased by wild animals. So this is our normal way of being. There might be different desires and needs that force you to operate that way. We think there’s really three of these postures.
Anybody is probably more than one of them, so this is not pathologizing. This isn’t putting you in a box. But probably one of these will resonate more than the others. Wanting to be approved, wanting to be loved, wanting other people to like you. This was me in my early part of my career.
How to Find the Right Coach
Lenny: Same.
Ken Norton: Yeah. So you’re kind of like the heart type. It’s sometimes called move toward other people. A lot of that came from my environment. I was coming up with product management. No one necessarily knew what the job even was. I had no authority and most people could just ignore me if they wanted to. And so, I had to meet other people’s expectations, please them, want to be accepted by them, seek their approval. It was this what we call a complying approach.
Here, this is why this is so vexing is it actually worked really well. It was pretty effective. Other people liked working with me. I listened to them and I considered everyone’s needs and made sure everyone felt heard. But there came a point where I gave away so much power that it was hurting me when it came to purpose and execution and decisiveness.
And so, again, these aren’t bad. There’s usually underlying tendencies that are very good. It just starts to have a cost as you become more senior. It’s like the gears start to grind to a halt a little bit.
Another way is more of a needing to be right head type, protecting one’s own ideas, sometimes called a move away from type, distance, arrogance, criticism, retreating into your own ideas and head. Then the other will not be a surprise, is the more controlling, my way or the highway, autocratic will move against wanting to win, wanting to be number one, wanting to excel, wanting dominance, wanting control, this would be another tendency.
Often one of those feels natural to you and another one feels just so incredibly distasteful that you can’t imagine possibly operating that way. This goes into the underlying beliefs part. If you had told me early in my career, when you saw me being passive and people-pleasing like that, “You’ve just got to stop caring what other people think, Ken. You’ve got to be more pushy.”
People did say that to me. That was pretty common probably in my performance review. It was very common. Even people who worked for me were like, “You need to push back.” My only archetype for doing that was the autocratic, controlling type. I was like, “I don’t want to be like that. That guy’s a jerk. That’s a fascist. I don’t want to be a fascist. I do care about other people.”
And so, many of our examples and archetypes are these equally ineffective reactive ways of being. And so, no wonder I didn’t want to be like that, because that’s also not very effective either. But there was a sense for me of redefining … This is where coaching is powerful is this what are the underlying assumptions and beliefs that you have that are causing you to fall back on some of these fundamental ways of operating and not let go of them?
Because the answer for me wasn’t stop caring about other people. I wasn’t going to do that. That’s a value of mine. It’s part of who I am. But take the caring about other people, the empathy, the connection, and direct it in a more creative way where you’re operating now from a place of purpose and vision and not reacting and protecting and defending and wanting to be.
For me, the key to that was letting go of needing to be liked and redefining it as an admiration that takes place over time. So rather than I want to leave this room with everyone liking me, I started to realize I want to be the type of leader where, a decade later, people say, “I would work with that guy again in a heartbeat.” That was part of the unlock for me.
Again, I care about other people. That’s a natural gift that underlines it. But it’s a redefinition of how that serves me, if that makes sense.
10x vs 10%
Lenny: Say someone’s in that first bucket … And I was definitely in that first bucket. I still want people to like me and I still probably have flaws there. But say you’re a PM and you’re like, “Oh, man. That’s exactly how I am acting right now.” It sounds like is the core of it just a mindset shift, going from I need people to like me to what you just talked about of, okay, I’m going to shift to I just want them to respect me over time? Is that the core of it? I know it’s probably not that easy, but how should someone behave during that bucket right now?
Ken Norton: Yeah. It sounds easy, right? This is part of what’s hard about this, is it always sounds easy when you describe it, having gone through the journey. It’s sort of like talk to somebody on the summit of Mount Everest and they’ll be like, “Yeah. Well, I could just climb this mountain. That’s how I got here.” You’re like, “Okay, wait, that’s not that easy.” Again, it is very individualized.
I think there’s an appreciation that you have to understand what is holding you back. This is a lot of the work that I’ll do with my clients is what is those underlying expectations? What are these underlying beliefs?
I Believe that my style was incompatible with being the leader. I would’ve said I can’t be a CEO because I’m not tough enough. I’m not strong enough. I’m not commanding enough. I can’t command a room. It’s like, okay, what is the underlying belief I’m making about what leadership is there? There’s an archetype that I have in my mind that is incompatible with this this way.
And so, there’s a need to confront that. Okay, what makes you believe the only type of leader is the leader that orders people around? Maybe that’s all I’ve ever seen. Maybe I don’t believe it’s possible to be another type of leader. Maybe there’s an inner critic that is convincing me that that’s not who I am, because a part of it is redefinition of what does leadership need for you, for you authentically? What would it be like, in my case, to lead with purpose and be decisive and lead with vision and to have other people felt like they’re being brought along and listened to and participated and create safe spaces for other people? That was the question there.
It took people challenging my point of view. It took working with a coach, asking me questions, forcing me to see places I’d made connections, that the connections don’t really need to be made. There’s a lot of instruments and tools we work with in coaching. There’s 360-degree assessments that are very helpful here that will start to help you understand, hey, here are places where you’re operating actively. Here are places where you’re operating really creatively, because, by the way, most people are partially somewhere in that journey. It’s a developmental process.
And to start to be able to get the feedback, the dopamine hit of seeing when I do it this way, actually it’s more effective and it doesn’t cost me as much. I’m happier and I’m enjoying it, I’m seeing that it’s working, is oftentimes a big part of this because there is this belief that it won’t work. The number of times when I’m with a client in coaching and say, “Well, what if you did do that?” and they go, “It just won’t work.” You realize that there is this wiring in there that needs … And this is what I talk about, this operating system that needs to be rejiggered to start to make sense of what if it did and how might you know.
10x vs 10% Thinking
Lenny: The point you just made about how you can realize that you can be successful in a lot of different ways and you don’t have to be this one archetype of a leader really resonates with my experience. I actually had an executive coach for a few months, and that was probably the biggest unlock for me. We did the strengths exercise, which a lot of people do. The main thing that she helped me see is you can do all the things that you want to do through the lens of the strengths that you have and not have to force yourself to be good at these other things, because there’s many ways to accomplish the same outcomes.
Ken Norton: That’s exactly right. Then once you start to understand that, you start to develop a better way of finding the right place, the right environment, the right role. When we began the conversation, you asked me what brought me into executive coaching. I would feel these … I would describe it as flying too close to the sun in my career, where I would have a team. I’d be managing a small team. I would love it. I would enjoy it. Then suddenly my team would grow.
I’d become more senior than I felt comfortable being. Then I felt like I wasn’t getting to do the “real” work anymore. Then I would be just completely disheveled and dissatisfied. Then I’d go try to go find a smaller team or even stop being a manager. It was a very meandering, reactive path. It was like every so often I was catching a wave, and I knew what it felt like to be on the wave, but I didn’t know what the characteristics of the wave were.
Then through coaching, I was like I love connecting with other people. I like helping people grow. I like helping challenge people. I like helping. Then I was like what are those parts? What if I unpack those? Oh, that’s why I loved managing that team of five because I got to do a lot of it. That’s why I hated managing a team of 35 because there’s no time for it.
Then you start to say, okay, well, what if rather than just randomly meandering through my career, I actually elevated needing to connect, wanting to be helpful? Then you’re like what would it be like if I wanted the helping professions? It’s just a reframing of move through your career in a way that seems externally to fit some definition of success and to start to define that internally.
That is the very definition of the reactive versus creative mindset. Reactive, allowing the world to set the expectations and try to meet them versus tap into what your real, true sense of purpose and vision is. Then use that to navigate the world.
How to Hire Product Managers
Lenny: It’s interesting that so much of this is just mindset. It’s not like learning a new skill as a leader or a product manager. It’s just seeing yourself in the world differently. All of a sudden you unlock your career. Is that what you find?
The Interviewee’s Perspective
Ken Norton: Absolutely. That’s why I think so much of the focus on the skills, the frameworks, it can be limited as you develop these capabilities, because it’s inner work. Where we’re talking about is this is all me.
Now that’s empowering. There’s empowerment to be able to say I want to change something and it doesn’t involve a whole bunch of other people convincing and persuading them, getting into an executive … This is all me. But it also, in some ways, makes it harder because it is all you. In coaching, it’s all about you. It’s all about that. Who am I and what matters to me? What underlying belief systems, inner voices are challenging me in ways that I want to be challenged? What is my unique …
I love the word authenticity. It’s, like you were just talking about, like what is my authentic way to lead, and then how do I center that rather than trying to fit into someone else’s definition of what leadership might be?
You may recognize I can’t be that authentic way of leader at this place or in this place type of company, but I know how to find it and I’m going to go find it.
The Lightning Q&A Round
Lenny: Do you have any more examples of either someone uncovering this about themselves, or another mindset shift that you can make in one of these other buckets, similar to the idea of I’ll think about people over the long term versus immediately?
Industry Thought Leaders
Ken Norton: Yeah. It really does vary. You start to pick up on that shift when it’s less of the goals being defined externally and more of the goals being defined internally. So you’ll have a conversation with somebody who’s new to coaching and you’ll say, “What do you want?” They’ll be like, “Well, I want to get promoted to VP.” “Why?” “Because I want to be a VP.” It’s like, “Well, what’s important about being VP?” “Well, because … ” Eventually the answer is, well, because it’s there and that’s the thing that I’m supposed to do.
Then you start to notice the shift and it starts to become more of, “Well, because really what’s important to me is creativity. I want more creativity in my life. I want more ability to challenge other people.” And so, you start to just sense that’s more from in than from out. That’s where that shift is.
The journey is different for everyone. I think ultimately this is part of why, quite frankly, coaching may not be right for everyone. If we go back to that video game analogy, if you’re looking for someone to just teach you the tutorial so you can learn how to play the video game and there’s this jackass like me sitting next to you and saying, “What’s important to you about playing this video game?” you’re going to be like, “Just can you tell me how to hold the controller? Can you stop?”
So it’s not always right. It’s a place where I think oftentimes people recognize that they’ve gotten all the advice, all the frameworks, all the rules, all the tricks, all the tips. They’ve learned that, they’ve mastered it, they’ve tweaked it, they’ve optimized it, they’ve recognized the shortcomings, they’ve customized it. The emergence that’s required for them to get to the next level is just going to come just as much from inside them as it is from outside, if not more. That’s when that shift is made.
Lenny: That’s called mentorship, I think, for people that are just looking for actual concrete advice on how to do a thing, is that right, versus coaching?
Ken Norton: I think so. This is where the words are squishy because there are a lot of people who are mentoring, who are also stepping into a coach role occasionally. There are plenty of managers who are great at coaching as necessary. So skills run the gamut, but it’s a question of how much are you looking for someone to tell you the right way versus how much do you believe that there even is no right way? It’s ultimately going to have to be your way.
That’s a different place, a different point in your career at different levels of journey. It’s part of why I tend to work with probably more senior executives, because they’re not looking to me to tell them how to do the job. They’ve already learned how to do the job. It’s just something deeper that’s going to need to break through from that.
Lenny:
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For someone that wants to do the work, but can’t find a coach, can’t afford a coach, is there something people can do on their own that you’d recommend to help them shift their mindset and do a lot of these things that you’ve been describing?
Ken Norton: Yeah, it’s a great question. Here’s the secret about the coaching industry. Anyone can call themselves a coach. It’s very democratized. It’s great. There’s no gatekeepers and barriers and there’s no 500 licenses you have to go through.
There are tons of great coaches who are at various different price levels, at different levels of accessibility. And so, if you say, “I can’t afford a coach,” I might challenge that a little bit and say have you looked?
The other thing is that you don’t need a coach who’s done the job before. I mean obviously I’ve done the job before, so I’m undermining part of my own selling point here. But coaches are trained to coach people on any topic. So when I go through coach training, I can coach you on anything. People can coach you on anything.
Sometimes even there might be power in having a coach that’s never done the product management job because there won’t be any cheating of starting to move into a more of advisor role or maybe as the coach either. There may be, “Well, you tell me what should I should do,” and the person would be like, “I don’t know. I’ve never done this job. Let’s go back to what you want.” So there could be some benefit from that. Again, you don’t have to have done that.
So I would say coaching is incredibly powerful. I wish I’d had a coach much, much earlier in my career. And so, the answer may be coaching is more accessible than you thought. If not, I think the things that we’re talking about here are internal understanding of what matters to you, your sense of purpose, this inner curiosity, and that could be harnessed at any age. So just wondering about yourself at any point in your career, wondering what’s important to you.
I love doing values work, like, “What are your values? Okay. No. What really are your values?” That’s something you can do yourself. That’s something you can question. You can read about, you can start to understand.
Mentors can be great, especially mentors who are less about trying to tell you the right way and get you to follow directly their path, but are more they’re applying some curiosity, asking questions, challenging you in certain ways, being a way that you can bounce ideas off of.
Great managers, I think, especially the best product leaders, understand how to put the coach hat on and when it’s appropriate to put the coach hat on, and are explicit about that, are like, “Okay, let me take off my manager hat now and put the coach hat on. What do you really want to do, Lenny? What’s important to you? What’s your career?” And so, I think you can get coaching from everywhere.
There’s a lot of self-coaching you can do. This is honestly one of the benefits for me having gone through tons of training and coaching is starting to coach myself, like feeling an emotion and asking myself coach questions. Really powerful. That’s something you can do when you’ve had a coach. You can do it when you don’t have a coach. You can explore it.
So I think this is really all about really being curious and wanting to understand who you really are at the core and what’s important to you and what matters. That’s something that can be done with or without a coach.
Lenny: Are there any resources that you love for either the values work or learning these questions to ask yourself? We can put them in the show notes if nothing comes to mind immediately. But is there something you recommend people check out?
Ken Norton: Yeah, there are some great books. Maybe I’ll use this opportunity to throw out a couple suggestions.
Lenny: Let’s do it.
Ken Norton: I guess we can link it into the show notes. Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead. It’s a good book. She actually even has a whole section in there around values, confronting her values. I like her approach. There’s some free resources on her website.
I love Conscious Leadership Group’s work here. The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership book is fantastic. You don’t even need to buy the book. There’s a ton of stuff on their website. Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman and Kaley Warner Klemp are of the authors of that book. That’s all about a lot of the stuff we’ve been talking about. They’re the ones that have the above the line versus below the line that fits into this creative versus reactive standpoint. Those are all fantastic.
If you want to go deeper into more of the management science behind it, if you’re like me and really curious about the psychology and the management science, Bob Anderson and Bill Adams’s book, Mastering Leadership, creates the entire integrated system around creative versus reactive.
As a teaser, they identify five levels of leadership, of which reactive is the second, creative is the third. So beyond that, you get into integral and unitive. So if you’re looking to unlock the advanced stages beyond creative, there’s a lot of great stuff in there. Those are where all the research comes in as well.
From an adult development standpoint, Robert Kegan is the godfather of the adult-stage development work and the meaning-making that underlines a lot of this. He has a great book called Immunity to Change if you’re curious about that.
Lenny: Awesome. We will link to all those in the description of this podcast so folks don’t have to Google around. I have a couple of more coaching questions before we move on to a few other topics. One is just what are you finding are the most common blind spots for product people in general? How are people shooting themselves in the foot most?
Ken Norton: Oh, that’s a great question. I think probably the number one category, I’m not sure it’s necessarily a problem, but maybe category or problems, is … And this is, I think, great lesson for people earlier in their career, is how much all of the challenges that senior executives are dealing with come down to people versus product. So it’s like it’s fun to think about designing products, optimizing, doing user discovery, and testing what, but it’s like you sit down with an executive and it’s all about people.
That’s the hard part. It’s about persuading people, getting groups of people to want to work together, trying to figure out how to deal with difficult personalities, figuring out how to set a vision and articulate a vision, create an environment where people can collaborate and play.
And so, I think this category of blind spot often is people being confronted with that without having been intentional about thinking of it as a skill or an area that they needed to work on, needed to improve.
Part of what I think is pretty exciting about product management is you are a leader from day one in product management. There’s leadership all over the place, but that’s your job. You’re a leader. You don’t have any formal authority, but you’re a leader. You’re expected to lead.
Guess what? The hardest part about being a leader is when you don’t get to just rely on the formal authority. So you’re getting to practice all the hard parts about leadership from day one, because you’re nobody’s boss. You get to sharpen those skills, develop those intuitions, get better and better at that, so that when you do someday, if this is right for you, become someone else’s boss, you’ve already been able to lean into that.
And so, the people side of this is such an incredible aspect of what product management is. What I find, and this may be a category of blind spots, is people realizing that when they’re put in a position where they’re expected to have impact and realizing that they haven’t developed the skills, they haven’t developed the capability to actually be able to manage and work through all these people, which is …
Lenny: How do you actually get better at that or develop those skills?
Ken Norton: Yeah. I just think recognizing it is part of the job. It’s important. Maybe I came up at a certain time where it was often dismissed as soft skills. It’s just like soft skills are helpful, but they’re not actually something you want to work on. They’re not something you train, not something you …
And this is just as important. This is the equal … I wrote a piece recently about the art versus the science. The art is communication, collaboration, the more fuzzy, softer skills, people stuff. It’s an elevation of that being just as important, if not more important, over time, as all this skills, techniques, tactics, managing a backlog, all that kind of stuff that you have to do. You should invest in that the same way you invest in those other skills.
So if you go off to a training to learn a technique for doing, I don’t know, some sort of technical dashboard analysis, why don’t you go to training to learn how to have difficult conversations? Because there’s some great training about having difficult conversations, or do some training about storytelling. These are all really, really important factors that start to come into play.
What I would recommend is just appreciating that these are going to really, really matter and practicing and then valuing them and not thinking of them as something that either will matter later or a distraction or not really part of the job.
Lenny: I think the reason people don’t do that work is because it’s so hard. Difficult conversations are difficult. We talked about this with Trey Hass. But just like it’s a rule of thumb, the thing that is hard is probably the thing you should be doing. It’s like a compass point of you to the thing you should do.
Ken Norton: Absolutely. We are all about doing hard stuff, product managers. That’s what we’re all about. And so, when something seems hard and it seems squishy and it seems like it’s difficult to put a three-step rule around, chances are it’s really going to matter. It goes back to this mindset shift. That means that there’s an opportunity for you to readjust your inner complexity management system to adapt to that area of complexity that you’re now seeing, because this stuff really feels squishy. And so, that’s even more of a reason why you want to get your hands around it and grab onto it and value it and learn and grow from it.
Lenny: Speaking of difficult and squishy, I’m guessing that one of the biggest challenges that people you work with face and one of the most recurring themes is imposter syndrome, people having imposter syndrome, something definitely I went through and it comes up a lot on this podcast. What do you usually advise your clients to do when they’re feeling imposter syndrome?
Ken Norton: Yeah, it’s a great question. I always get corrected to say imposter phenomenon by people in the psychology community, because I guess it’s not a dysfunction. And so, I’ve learned to use their terms. But, yeah, I think just about everyone experiences it at some point. Research shows that that definitely is born out … It’s really the moments when you’re doubting your abilities or you feel like a fraud or you feel like you don’t belong.
It’s funny because as I’m interrogating my own inner emotional state right now, I’m feeling it a little bit, because there’s a part of me right now that’s just like, “You’re not a trained psychologist.” When I said that whole thing, well, it’s technically a phenomenon, there’s a voice that was like, “What are you talking about? You don’t know what you’re talking about. Who are you [inaudible 00:50:14] on this?”
Lenny: We’ll put a disclaimer on the episode.
Ken Norton: Yeah, I’m not a psychologist. So, look, we all feel it. There’s a part of me right now that’s like I’m going to say the wrong thing and embarrass myself. Product managers, product leaders maybe more so because the role is so cross-functional and ill-defined. There’s always going to be an edge of the job that you aren’t as qualified as whoever you’re interacting with. It’s the nature of it. Look, we’re never going to be as good as an engineer, as good as a designer, as good … So there’s all these opportunities for that.
I find, certainly from client work, that there is a little bit of a softening and solidarity just knowing that. I’m just like, “Oh, you have that, too? Oh, I have that. Yeah, there’s some value to that.”
I think it’s important to pause here and say that there is the risk of dismissing or even maybe weaponizing imposter phenomenon against particular populations, particularly women, people of color of all genders, women of color especially, who are facing real external feedback and doubt about their abilities.
The environment is reinforcing and the source of a lot of this stuff, microaggressions, bias, real aggressions. And so, I think we always have to be careful in the helping professions to not dismiss it as a problem that just shifts the obligation to the person. So it’s like, “Oh, that’s just your imposter syndrome. Deal with it.” Well, it’s really easy to overlook all these systemic issues that are leading to that imposter syndrome.
So the leaders I work with, I think we have a special obligation both to confront our own inner dynamic, but also to recognize what our role is in the broader environment that might be contributing to some of this stuff. If you’re a leader, you have a special obligation to dismantle those, not when you’re meeting with your people, be like, “Ah, it’s just your imposter syndrome. You can work through it. Hire a coach,” but to be able to recognize, “Okay, wait, what signals are you getting? What issues are contributing to this? What’s our role in needing to change that?” So I think that’s worth pointing out.
By the way, there’s a great article in Harvard Business Review from a couple of years ago. I think the title was literally Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome. The two authors of that were Ruchika Tulshyan and Jodi-Ann Burey, if you’re curious and you want to go into more depth on that.
As coaches there, there’s all sorts of ways we’re trained to work with this. Oftentimes as an inner critic and inner voice, we all have voices, saboteurs. They’re often trying to help us, they have good intentions, but they’re developed to try to protect us in certain ways. So gaining awareness of those, just sort of like, “Oh, that is an inner critic. That’s what it’s trying to do.” There’s a self-distancing that’s valuable to that, really kind of …
I like to think of it a little bit as you got inner border directors, and there’s some noisy, chatty voices that every so often sit in the chairperson’s seat and start taking over. If you start to recognize, “Wait, no, I’m the chairperson. I don’t want to hear from you right now. We’ll hear from you later,” it starts to create some power and you start to notice when it’s happening.
We bypass inner critic sometimes as a classic coaching technique. It’s like, “Okay, I’m sounding that’s your inner critic is saying that. What if we just ask it to maybe step aside? Let’s keep talking here.”
You can befriend it. There’s a lot of practices and works just actually trying to understand what its motivations are. You can think of it as a board. Give this board member a new job, put it on a new committee, reassign it.
There’s oftentimes underlying belief systems. We talked before about my impression of what a real leader was and who they had to be. And so, hey, when all those second-guessing of me not being a real leader, of me not being qualified came from some of those underlying assumptions, that that was the only type of leader that was effective, was somebody that was slamming their fist out on the table.
Okay, so what if we redefine that? I’m too kind to be a leader. I’m not dominating, commanding enough. When you hear a client say that as a coach, you recognize, okay, there’s a connection being made here between what effective leadership is and isn’t. Let’s interrogate that connection. Is that connection actually true?
Again, it get backs to this question of you’re often responding to other styles, approaches you’ve seen. You’re comparing yourself to others. So this is the reactive mindset of I’m always comparing myself to that person, to that wave, that being, and seeing myself as lesser then. And so, the inner work of starting to see who I really am truly inside and less comparing myself to others.
But, yeah, imposter phenomenon, syndrome, whatever you want to call it, very common and very popular, I suppose. Although when I say popular, it’s like popular like a play.
Lenny: Right. Another inner critic tactic I’ve heard that I used for a bit that was helpful is to give your inner critic a name, like Jim. I mean like, “Jim, not right now. I don’t need you right now.” That kind of helps.
Ken Norton: Yeah. There is a whole school of coaching that I’ve worked with that’s called parts work or internal family systems. It comes from a psychologist named Richard Schwartz who determined this. It can be really, really powerful.
I’ll word my clients and we will give them names. We will imagine what they look like. They will interview these parts. If you’ve seen the Pixar movie Inside Out, this notion that like, hey, all these different parts show up in different ways. I’m going to put myself, the real me, the real self into the chairperson’s seat. When I hear these voices, I’m going to appreciate them from what they are and who they are. They’re not me. They’re parts of me.
There’s something really powerful in that, in that sense of like … Because, otherwise, they’re all me. So I just hear this voice telling me I’m an idiot and I’m a clown and I’m not qualified to be in this room. Then when you can start to go, “Oh, yeah, there it is. That’s Larry Loser. My big angry, irritating judge who’s, of course … Oh, yeah, Larry always shows up every time I do something new, because Larry doesn’t want me to challenge myself. So, of course, Larry’s going to pipe in. I’ve heard from Larry. I’m going to ask Larry to step aside. Let’s go.” Yeah, it can be very powerful.
Lenny: I love that. One last question about coaching. For folks that want to find a coach, do you have any advice of just how to find a coach, and then what are a couple questions you can ask to evaluate if they’re a good fit for you?
Ken Norton: Yeah, great question. So I think, like any helping profession, finding a therapist or really anyone who you’re going to have a deep and lasting relationship with, this sort of trust and authenticity is really important. I think we all, as coaches, recognize, and we feel this as well with clients, is it either has to be a fit or not. Sometimes it’s hard to put your finger on it. Sometimes you meet with someone and you’re like, “Yeah, it clicks. It feels right.” Sometimes you’re like, “Eh, it doesn’t,” and that’s okay. And so, all coaches worth their salt will offer a free session to understand that, engage that.
I always tell everyone in that session, if you don’t decide to work with me or I decide … We don’t need a reason. It’s fine. It’s just not a fit, and that’s okay. You don’t need to come up with bullet point reasons to let me down. It’s part of how it goes.
You might prefer certain people, certain gender, certain backgrounds. You may feel more comfortable or less comfortable with … Maybe you want an old guy like me. Maybe you want an old guy like me, and that’s fine. It has to feel right.
I would ask them to talk to you about what coaching is to them, because, again, it might combine some of these more mentory things. It might be more tactical. Some coaches are more structured, “Week one, we’re going to do this. Week two, we’re going to do this. Week … ” Others are more pure coaches like me, where, look, within the first five minutes, I’m going to ask you what you want to talk about today, because you’re bringing the agenda. So figure that out. Figure out what works for you.
Then I think there’s a lot of great places to go. Actually, specifically where to go, the International Coaching Federation is our governing body. So those of us that are credentialed coaches you’ll find there. Again, you don’t have to be credentialed, but that’ll be a great place to find people who are.
There are some matchmaking services, BetterUp, Torch, or some of the more accessible ones. There’s one called Prismaticco. It’s a little bit more higher end for more senior execs. Scale just put out a list of top coaches who work with product managers and product leaders, all sorts of great coaches. We can include that link. Lenny, I think you’re involved.
Lenny: Yeah. Congrats on winning one of their categories for best coach of … Which category was that?
Ken Norton: Product leaders. So, yeah, this was just a setup for you to say that. But thank you. But there’s tons of great coach, and different styles, different stages of careers. I think all those folks have work with or have worked with product folks.
And so, again, just talk to a few. Reach out to a few. Ask them. If you’re looking for more names, ask people who you admire, whose leadership styles you like and want to emulate, who they recommend, because oftentimes they have a better understanding of, hey, this is the type of coach that may want to work with, more of the emotional work, or this is the type of coach who actually maybe has a more compatible vision of what you’re looking for, because, look, all coaches are different. You can tell I’m a touchy-feely heart coach.
There are coaches who are … Sometimes people want a coach and they’re just like, “You grab that brass ring. We’re going to pound the table. I’m going to push you. I’m going to challenge you. I’m going to beat you up. I’m going to be more of a drill sergeant.” That’s a different style of coach that works with other people. That may be more what you’re looking for.
So I would just talk to a bunch, do some free sessions, get an opportunity to explore it. I coach people in the free session. So it’s not just like we’re talking. We’re going to talk about something. I’m going to coach you. You’re going to get a sense of what this looks like. Then come away and just ask yourself, what are your goals and where was there a fit? If there’s not, just keep looking.
Lenny: Amazing. That was very tactically helpful. I really appreciate all those resources. We’ll definitely link to all that in the description. I have just a couple questions I wanted to ask you outside of coaching, around some of your posts that you’ve written before we get to our exciting lightning round. One is around this idea of 10X versus 10%.
So you wrote this post about the importance of thinking 10X versus 10%. Truthfully, I actually had a post started, “10X versus 10%.” I was like, “Oh, this is going to be great.” Then I Googled, “Oh, Ken’s already written about it.” So I’m glad that you have written about it and written about it so well.
Ken Norton: Great minds think alike, as they say.
Lenny: Now I don’t have to write it. I’d love to just hear your general take on what this idea is and how to think about 10X or 10% bets.
Ken Norton: Again, I’m a great synthesizer of ideas. This isn’t my idea. This is a lot of … It came from some thinking at Google and some push. I think it’s really the sense that we think too small sometimes. You’ll see that as a theme for some of the other things I’ve written too. There needs to be a push. If you really want to have huge breakthrough innovation, you need to be able to try, you need to be able to fail. You need to be able to shoot for the moon is where this 10X comes from.
A lot of it is mindset, but a lot of it is also cultural. It’s creating environments where … And I had the great privilege of working at Google for 14 years. I felt like it was definitely an environment that I got to play in, of being willing to take big swings that might fail.
This doesn’t mean that the company could all be out of business tomorrow. But it’s like if you have a choice between trying something that could have a massive breakthrough, a massive change, and playing small ball where you’re going to get a bunch of 10% improvements, you are over time, if you’re willing to try, if you’re willing to fail, if you’re willing to push yourself, if you’re willing to think bigger, if you’re willing to create environments, great ideas come from places that are unexpected, you’ll achieve massive, massive breakthrough.
You can find the piece on my website, because I use examples from history, but it is a little bit of being brave and trying big things. If you look at all the great technology, the huge breakthrough innovations that we’ve had, the coronavirus vaccine, just this … Man, there is no small balling that. That was a big, big swing that there was no guarantee of success, but we were willing to try it. We were willing to fail knowing that failure was probably the more likely outcome in the chance that we would achieve something that would really have that level of breakthrough.
And so, I think it is what I always challenge leaders to do is create the environment where people can step in and bring those types of ideas, and not play it safe or not be like, “Ah, boy, that seems like a big one. If we bring that to the CEO, there’s no way they’ll take a chance. So let’s ramp down our expectations. Let’s bring this little idea in that is a little bit more guaranteed to work.”
And so, it is the obligation of leaders to create that environment for people to be able to innovate, because the ideas are out there. I use the example of Kodak. Kodak invented the digital camera. It wasn’t like, oh, people at Kodak were dumb. They didn’t know digital was coming. No, they literally invented the digital camera. There just wasn’t an environment created where the people who had that idea, who saw that potential, who saw that possibility could step up through the plate and try.
Lenny: Do you have any rules of thumb of how many of your ideas/resources should go into these big ideas versus incremental 10% bets, or is the general advice just like people aren’t thinking big enough, often enough, so you should always think a little bit bigger than you naturally will?
Ken Norton: I think it depends. I mean it depends on the company. If you work in R&D, in labs, maybe everything is in that category and you build a portfolio. If you’re a venture capital seed investor, or if you’re working at a research lab, it’s like you’re building a huge portfolio of these bets. You’re just assuming that maybe 99 of them will fail, but one will succeed and it’ll make it all worthwhile.
Most of us aren’t in those environments. We’re in places where we have real customers buying our products, wanting our products, using our products. We’re like, “Let’s bet the entire company own 50 things that may not work out.” It may not be right for you.
So I think it is a little bit of an approach. I think it needs to be thought of in a fractal way, though, because maybe at the company level, they’re thinking Google once upon a time had a 70-20-10 thing, whereas 70% is our core business. It’s the time we’re searching ads. 20% is adjacent business, and then 10% on crazy bets that may not be anything.
But I think that’s at the company level. At the individual level, at your team level, you might have your own way of thinking. You’re just like, okay, I’ve got 12 engineers on the team. We’re working on, at any time, a bunch of stuff that we know we have to do. This is a bunch of stuff that we hope is like 10%. Then we’re going to create some space for some innovation. Maybe it’s just one engineer every sprint, or it’s like a couple of times a year.
You create that type of space in your own little air bubble that isn’t necessarily at the portfolio level, to try things that may not work. But if they do, the payoff will be so substantial that it’ll make the whole thing worthwhile.
Lenny: Awesome. Very helpful. Next question is around I think your most popular post that you’ve ever written, and maybe the thing that put you on the radar of writing, is around how to hire a product manager. Maybe this is where you mentioned donuts the first time. Is that right, or no?
Ken Norton: It’s funny. I think that was later.
Lenny: Okay.
Ken Norton: Yeah, I think that was a talk that came after that.
Lenny: Okay, cool.
Ken Norton: Yeah, that was definitely the big one for me.
Lenny: So here’s the question, just to keep it simple, what’s one piece of advice that you would give people trying to hire a product manager? What’s the thing that you think is most maybe missed or useful?
Ken Norton: Yeah, I think the intangibles. So basically I wrote that originally as an email, that it was a copy pasta thing for me, where people kept coming to me and being like, “Hey, I think we’re going to try to hire a product manager or a company. Can you send over a sample job description?” I’d be like, “Yeah. Before we write the job description, let’s talk about what the job is, because I’m not sure we all mean the same thing.” And so, then I wrote that … It was in 2005, so this goes back … to try to define what the role actually is.
I actually feel like maybe the pendulum shifted way too far now where it’s the interview process is so structured. Everyone’s doing all these mock. They know exactly what questions they’re going to get. It’s SAT prep. Everyone’s ready. But we’ve missed out with can they do the job? Because it’s like they can pass the interview, but can they do the job?
And so, I think you have to be careful. This is particularly the case if you are a smaller company. You don’t have a huge apparatus of Google and Meta, where you’ve got interviewing monolith of getting persuaded into … Maybe this goes back a little bit to the science and the art. They passed all the technical questions. They do all this, they do all that. They do all that. But then you neglect to find out can this person show up and work with these engineers, these designers? Can they inspire them? Is this somebody that they want to follow? Do they have the right mindset for what this job entails? Do we even have an agreement on what their job is going to be?
The number of people you see earlier in their career will be like, “Well, I thought I was hiring for this, but it turns that’s not even product management,” or it was like, “I thought I was going to do this, but all they want me to do is build fee.” It’s like how’d that not come out in the group process? It’s like, well, I know how it didn’t come out because they answered a whole bunch of structured questions around … They did a programming exercise and they did a presentation and nobody stopped to ask.
And so, I think that’s really the big thing from an interviewer perspective. I think same thing goes for the candidate’s perspective. You are interviewing a potential employer. You’re interviewing a boss. You’re interviewing coworkers. What do you want? What do you care about? What is the type of place you want to be in? What do you not want to be in? How are you evaluating that? How are you asking those questions?
Yeah, salary matters, title. All that kind of stuff matters. But you’re interviewing a place to plop yourself into. How are you approaching that to make sure you’re making the right decision?
Lenny: Well, with that, we’ve reached our very exciting lightning round, where I’m going to ask you a few questions and whatever comes to mind, just give me an answer. That’s it. Very simple. Does that sound good?
Ken Norton: Yeah. Inner critic is raging right now.
Lenny: Oh, no. Real-time imposter syndrome.
Ken Norton: Here we go.
Lenny: [inaudible 01:08:49].
Ken Norton: Yeah.
Lenny: Okay. So question one, what are two or three books that you recommend most to other people?
Ken Norton: Oh, 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership. Definitely on that book. I’d just add books I’ve never recommended before. Probably Innovators Dilemma. It’s probably my number one favorite book for product managers and product leaders.
Lenny: Amazing. What’s a recent movie or TV show that you’ve liked?
Ken Norton: I love Ms. Marvel. My whole family were really enjoying it. I love all the MCU stuff. We just eat it up. Ms. Marvel has been amazing. Then watching Barry, which is crazy. It’s sort of like nothing else I think ever on TV. Then, over the last year, probably Severance. It’s my favorite program over the last … I’d say last year.
Lenny: Wow. Yeah. That is a trippy show. I’ve watched it all. We might be severed people, we don’t even know.
Ken Norton: You won’t even know.
Lenny: Okay. What is a favorite interview question that you like to ask folks when you interview them?
Ken Norton: Well, actually let me flip it because I just talked about interviewing as the interview … Maybe I’ll ask a favorite question for people who are being interviewed to ask the employer. Is that fair or is that turn the tables too much?
Lenny: I love it. Yes.
Ken Norton: I think a great question … Actually maybe I have a couple. I think one question that I love is how does the company define a product team? Because it answers so much. It says so much about culture, collaboration, decision-making, the role of product management. If there’s one question and you could figure out what is this culture like, it would be asking that.
I think another great question for candidates is to ask them to pick an example of something they’ve shipped recently and just talk about how it came to be. How did the bill become a law? Was it somebody in sales yelled and it got added to the backlog and it was the next thing? Is it a group of people together understanding customer user needs through discovery and ideating and trying some things and testing it? It says a lot about what it would be like to work there, particularly when it comes to empowerment and product culture. So those are probably two good questions.
Lenny: Those are really good questions. I’m going to steal them. Final question, who else in the industry do you respect as a thought leader? I imagine this list is very long, but what comes to mind?
Ken Norton: Well, this list is all of my fellow podcast guests on your podcast, Lenny, which is, speaking of imposter phenomenon, is just an incredible group of all the folks that I love and admire. I think, though, because … Maybe I’ll answer it a little bit outside of product, because I would worry that I would leave out too many great names.
In the realms of leadership, Amy Edmondson is somebody I really admire. She’s done a lot of the work on psychological safety. I really, really value her work, her contributions. There’s a guy named Tom Garrity, who has a newsletter about psychological safety. I think he’s collaborated with Amy before. It’s one of the best, not the best newsletter I received, Lenny, maybe the second best, about psychological safety for those of us that are wanting to create environments where people can really thrive and do their best.
In the coaching profession, I mean the coaching profession emerges from the humanist psychology traditions or the client-first work of … Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow are intellectual heroes of mine. They’re both dead. I don’t know if we’re supposed to talk about living people here, but definitely as I think about in my profession, they really set the stage and created the environment that coaching could even exist. So I’ll include them.
Lenny: Amazing. Ken, this was such a special episode, unlike any other podcast that I’ve had so far. I can’t wait for people to listen to it. Before I let you go, where can folks find you online if they want to reach out, learn more, and then how can listeners be helpful to you?
Ken Norton: Yeah, bringthedonuts.com is my home on the worldwide web. All my writing is there. You can get in contact with me there. I have a newsletter that I am occasionally send out, but you can find all the stuff that I’ve ever written and get in contact with me there.
The how to help be helpful question is a really easy one to answer, but that brings me a lot of joy, which is just keep being awesome product folks. You’re so much my tribe. You’re so close to my heart, all the work that you do, everything you bring into the world, the amazing products that we get to use that I’m sure you’re working on right now that we haven’t even seen yet, that you can’t wait to share with us, and the cultures and teams that you make better, so your very existence. So I would say you can be helpful to me by just keep doing what you’re doing.
Lenny: What an awesome answer. Thank you for being here, Ken.
Ken Norton: Thanks for having me, Lenny.
Lenny: That was awesome. Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed the chat, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast and, even better, leave a review, which helps a lot. You can also learn more at lennyspodcast.com. I’ll see you in the next episode.
Glossary
| English | 中文 |
|---|---|
| above the line | 线上 |
| Abraham Maslow | Abraham Maslow |
| Amy Edmondson | Amy Edmondson |
| authenticity | 真实性 |
| below the line | 线下 |
| BetterUp | BetterUp |
| brass ring | 最高处的环(brass ring) |
| Brené Brown | 布琳·布朗 |
| burnout | 倦怠 |
| Carl Rogers | Carl Rogers |
| copy pasta | 复制粘贴模板(copy pasta) |
| creative | 创造型 |
| Dare to Lead | 《敢于领导》 |
| Gilgamesh | 吉尔伽美什 |
| humanist psychology | 人本主义心理学(humanist psychology) |
| Immunity to Change | 《对改变的免疫》 |
| imposter phenomenon | 冒充者现象 |
| imposter syndrome | 冒充者综合征 |
| inner critic | 内在批判者 |
| Innovator’s Dilemma | 《创新者的窘境》(Innovator’s Dilemma) |
| integral | 整合型 |
| Internal Family Systems | 内在家庭系统(Internal Family Systems) |
| International Coaching Federation | 国际教练联合会(International Coaching Federation) |
| Larry Loser | Larry Loser |
| Mastering Leadership | 《掌握领导力》 |
| mentorship | 导师制 |
| microaggression | 微歧视 |
| mock | 模拟面试(mock) |
| parts work | 部分工作(parts work) |
| Prismatic | Prismatic |
| product leadership | 产品领导力 |
| psychological safety | 心理安全感(psychological safety) |
| reactive | 反应型 |
| Richard Schwartz | Richard Schwartz |
| saboteur | 破坏者 |
| SAT prep | SAT 备考 |
| soft skills | 软技能 |
| The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership | 《有意识领导的十五项承诺》 |
| Tom Garrity | Tom Garrity |
| Torch | Torch |
| unitive | 统一型 |
Reformatted by reformat_english.py
如何释放你的产品领导力 | Ken Norton,前谷歌
如何释放你的产品领导力 | Ken Norton,前谷歌
文字稿
Ken Norton: 我觉得产品管理令人兴奋的一点在于,从做产品管理的第一天起,你就是一个领导者。领导力无处不在,而这正是你的本职。你是一个领导者。你没有正式的职权,但你是一个领导者,人们期望你去领导。
Lenny: 在 Google 14年的职业生涯中,Ken Norton 领导产品团队打造了 Google Docs、Google Calendar、Google Maps,还在 Google Ventures 工作过一段时间。他参与打造的产品如今被超过三十亿人使用。
如今,Ken 是一位全职高管教练,专注于与产品领导者合作。在我们的对话中,我们讨论了主动型与被动型思维模式、为什么产品管理的艺术远比产品管理的科学重要得多、如何克服冒名顶替综合征、产品经理最常见的盲区、如何寻找教练以及如何判断一个教练是否适合你,以及更多话题。希望你喜欢这期与 Ken Norton 的对话。
欢迎 Ken Norton
Lenny: 欢迎来到播客,Ken。非常荣幸能邀请你。你在产品经理和产品管理圈子里是一位传奇人物。你的文章影响了很多人,包括我自己。至少可以说,这些年来你让科技公司买了不少甜甜圈。感谢你的到来。
Ken Norton: 谢谢,感谢邀请。我的感受也是一样的。我一直是你作品的忠实粉丝,感谢你为社区和这档出色的播客所做的一切。很荣幸也很兴奋来到这里。是的,我确实认为至少在一定程度上,这些年来大量甜甜圈的消耗与我有关。
Lenny: 你对人们总问甜甜圈的事感到厌烦吗?
Ken Norton: 我永远不会厌倦。回到大家还会线下见面的时候,人们会给我带甜甜圈,我从来没厌倦过,我身边能一起吃甜甜圈的同事也没厌倦过。所以,不,我永远不会对甜甜圈感到厌倦。
Lenny: 有人在 Twitter 上问,现在我们处于远程工作时代,有没有什么数字化的等效替代品来”带甜甜圈”?你对此有什么建议吗?
Ken Norton: 这是个好问题。我甚至不确定甜甜圈的实体等价物是否还是甜甜圈。我的意思是,当初我提出这个说法的时候,它其实是一个比喻,关于做一个仆人式领导者(servant leader),去做需要做的事,填补空白、弥合缝隙,做一切需要完成的事情。所以它并不一定非要是甜甜圈。
我之前确实在通讯刊物的读者中发起过这个讨论,大概是在疫情早期,收到了很多有趣的想法。那时候大家对 Zoom 欢乐酒会之类的活动可能还有更多耐心,现在那股耐心可能已经消耗殆尽了。我最喜欢的一个想法恰恰就是真正的甜甜圈。有一位产品经理给大家发了 DoorDash 的兑换码,为团队每个人找到了当地最好的甜甜圈店,然后发给他们一个码说:“点击这里,随时可以把甜甜圈送到你家。“所以,至少在一定程度上,甜甜圈的数字化等价物可能就是真正的甜甜圈。
Lenny: 去中心化的甜甜圈。
Ken Norton: 去中心化的甜甜圈,在区块链上。
Lenny: 天哪,我们别往那个方向聊了。
Ken Norton: 我不知道那是什么。
从工程师到教练的职业旅程
Lenny: 在这次对话之前,我翻阅了一下你的职业经历。你的职业生涯相当精彩。你最初是工程师,然后做了 NBC 某个部门的技术负责人(CTO),之后又去创业,接着在 Google 待了14年,做了大家可能都听说过的产品,比如 Google Docs、Google Calendar 和 Google Maps。你也写了很多文章。再后来,你成为了一名全职高管教练,专注于服务产品人。
关于你的职业生涯和一路上的收获,以及你的写作,我有太多问题想问。但我想把大部分时间用来聊聊教练工作以及你从中学到的东西。所以我开门见山先问两个问题:第一,高管教练到底做什么?你帮助人们解决什么类型的问题?一次会谈是什么样的?第二,你离开 Google 之后,是如何决定全职做教练的?
什么是高管教练
Ken Norton: 好问题。我觉得教练这个词确实有很多不同的含义,取决于你问谁。它在一定程度上取决于你是谁、你的风格和你的方法。有些人自称教练,做的更多是指导(mentoring)、给建议;另一些人可能更像我这边的风格,更多是同侪教练(peer coaching)。
对我来说,我把高管教练看作一种伙伴关系,或者说创造性伙伴关系。它的核心是帮助我的客户实现他们的目标、发挥他们的潜能——无论那对他们意味着什么。所以教练中一个很重要的前提是,成功的定义属于客户。我没有预设的议程,没有一套要传递、要教、要让对方学习的东西。根本上这完全取决于他们自己,这意味着每个客户都完全不同。他们有不同的方向想去往,有不同的障碍挡在路上。
我的教练实践,我教练的是完整的人。所以我们讨论什么、一起做什么,没有任何限制。不局限于产品,甚至不局限于工作,也不局限于领导力。无论他们想去哪里,无论”改变”和”转变”对他们意味着什么,我们都可以涉及。
作为教练,我们会把一系列工具带入对话中。最重要的,说实话,可能是倾听和好奇心、直觉、开放的心态,真正帮助他们挑战自己去以不同角度看待事物,帮助他们激发想象力,发现可能存在的深层信念,帮助他们连接需要连接的线索,也帮助他们解开那些看起来关联但实则不然的东西。这里面有大量的探索。
走进教练这个行当
这个过程很像爵士乐。我之前分享过对爵士乐的热爱,教练工作确实有一种即兴的特质。教练之所以真正有力,在于你开始时未必知道要去往哪里,而是跟随那个人的意义和改变所在的方向,跟随他们想去的地方。
关于什么把我带到了教练这个领域,这个问题其实挺有意思的。说实话,是因为我和自己的高管教练合作,开始弄清楚什么对我来说是重要的,我喜欢什么,我的价值观是什么,我的目的是什么,也开始发现我深深热爱与人建立连接,热爱帮助人们改变和成长。
当我作为管理者、作为产品领导者有机会做这些事情的时候,那些是我职业生涯中最有成就感的时刻。于是我开始梳理这些,想象如果我专门做这件事,会是什么样子。
这段旅程的另一部分是,在 Google 的那几年,我在 GV 工作,就是 Google Ventures,Google 的风险投资部门。我有机会与投资组合中的创始人和产品领导者合作。与此同时,我开始意识到给建议这件事的局限性。因为看起来,我可以和这些人见面,告诉他们我做了什么,告诉他们 Google 做了什么,那就能回答他们所有的问题。
你开始意识到,建议并没有你以为的那么有力。它有点像棉花糖。没什么营养。你会得到一个不错的糖分快感。双方都感觉很好,都很开心,但几周后、几个月后,其实什么也没有真正改变。
那是因为建议往往没有触及真正的问题。它往往并不相关。就像在 Google 对我们有效的方法,放到别的地方未必有效。甚至可能在 Google 本身也未必有效。我觉得在 Google 的有些年头,我们所做的不过是越帮越忙,我们大概应该都去找个海滩坐下来,公司反而会增长得更快。谁知道呢?
所以,正是这两根支柱——想弄清楚我在哪里能做我最喜欢的事,以及认识到成长更多不是来自建议和告诉别人该怎么做,而是帮助他们找到自己的路径、自己的方式——最终把我带到了”嘿,我想全职做这件事”的决定,从那以后我就一直在做这个。
Lenny: 你觉得人们一般在什么时候会来找你寻求建议和教练?你的客户通常是哪些人?
Ken Norton: 这个问题很好。总的来说,我的客户是资深产品领导者,不管你怎么定义这个角色。通常他们是首席产品官(CPO)、创业公司的产品副总裁,大科技公司则大多是总监级别及以上,也有一些 CEO 和其他 C-level 高管。我想基本上是任何认为自己处于产品领导力角色的人。
为什么人们会来找我
他们来找我,通常是因为遇到了一个职业里程碑或者走到了十字路口。可能是他们第一次担任 CPO。可能行业发生了变化,或者他们从大公司转到了创业公司,有一种”把我带到这里的,没法把我带到那里”的感觉。这往往是他们寻求教练的时候。
我觉得我的客户也非常善于自我反思,身边也不缺好的导师和顾问,生活中有各种各样可以帮助他们的人,但他们意识到,很多通向下一阶段的工作必须是内在的功课。这种转变不只是”我需要做什么”,同样也是”我是谁”。人们往往就是在这样的时刻来找我的。
Lenny: 你说你教练的方式是关于完整的人。我很好奇……这个问题可能没有标准答案,但当人们来寻求帮助和教练的时候,他们的障碍有多大比例是根植于日常生活,又有多少是关于技能、技术能力,以及更偏向产品领导力方面的?这样问能理解吗?
学开车的比喻
Ken Norton: 对,我想……好吧,也许我可以用我生活中的一个例子来解释。容我扯远一点,但我保证会绕回来。
Lenny: 来吧。
Ken Norton: 我们正在教我们 16 岁的儿子开车。他刚拿到了驾驶学习许可。你还记得自己学开车的时候吗,Lenny?
Lenny: 记得。
Ken Norton: 对。挺吓人的。我不知道你是否了解你父母当时是什么感受——
Lenny: 不太了解。
Ken Norton: ……从另一边来看,这是一段全新的旅程。看,他是个聪明的孩子,他会没问题的。但这让我回想起自己学开车的时候。实际上,我觉得也许更重要的是学开车之前的状态。你这样想——小时候,汽车就是带你去某个地方。你被绑在座椅上,等着,不耐烦地等着,然后你就到地方了。你根本不会意识到”驾驶”这个概念的存在。车就是开动了,你甚至不会去想这件事。
等你再长大一点,你开始产生好奇。你开始搞明白,哦,那个方向盘和这个有关系。你转动方向盘。也许你开始知道有踏板这回事。但看起来也真的很简单。就是上车、开走、到地方。也许等你再大一点,你甚至会有点小聪明,觉得看起来多容易啊,还开始跟你父母说,“看着不难嘛,我能行。”
现在你突然坐到了方向盘后面。这就是我儿子正在经历的。哇,跟你想的一样吗?是不是比想象的复杂得多?你得记得检查后视镜。转弯之前得先看清楚。你连那个标志是什么意思都不知道。你不知道那些标线是什么意思。铺天盖地的复杂性向你涌来,而你面对这个挑战的内在心态,已经不是你过去应对世界的方式所能适应的了。
也许用产品领导力的话来说,用产品术语来说,你周围的每个人对你的疏漏都有非常精辟的建议。“嘿,别忘了检查后视镜。“每个人都有一个框架。“啊,你知道 10 点和 2 点框架吗?""等等,什么是 10 点和 2 点框架?""哦,就是左手放在 10 点钟位置,右手放在 2 点钟位置。你缺的就是这个。这有一篇讲这个的很好的 Medium 文章。“然后你想,“问题是我没有适应周围世界的复杂性。”
所以,有意思的是,开车这件事——世界并没有变得更复杂。开车一直就是开车。但你在世界中的位置发生了变化,以至于你现在所需的内在意义建构和自我复杂度,要求你对内在操作系统进行一次彻底的重启,才能让你在那个位置上茁壮成长。
所以当你问到这个问题——其中多少是技能,多少是方法技巧,多少是学习,又有多少是内在成长——答案是两者兼有,但真正需要的转变,很大程度上在于你的内在自我如何建构意义、如何应对周围世界的要求,从而让你在这种心态转变中成功和茁壮成长。
技能当然重要,但到了这个阶段,你已经超越了单纯学习技能的阶段。掌握技能是一回事,而发展心理学家所说的”自我复杂度”(self-complexity)——即回应和适应环境变化的能力——则是另一回事。
我认为在我们的职业生涯中会经历很多次这样的转变。开车的例子很简单,实际上可能太简单了,因为对于我们这些从事产品工作的人来说,世界确实在变得越来越复杂。每天都有变化发生,迫使我们去回应和适应。产品领域甚至没有所谓的交通规则可言。
但我认为这就是我们正在讨论的问题——关于内在操作系统的问题:我如何培养重构它的能力,使自己在面对外部施加的要求时能够成功。
职业生涯的电子游戏比喻
Lenny: 这个比喻太精彩了,既让人感同身受,又有点扎心。这正好引出了我想聊的一个话题,也是我们录制前讨论过的——你在客户身上发现的一个比较大的突破点。这也是你花了很多时间打磨的一个概念,你发现它在帮助人们转变,尤其是转变领导力心态方面很有效。我很想听听你对此的思考。
Ken Norton: 确实,这可以顺接到这个话题。也许再打个比方,对听众来说可能更容易理解。如果把产品管理看作你的职业生涯,你从心态角度面临的挑战,某种程度上确实像职业生涯早期——你在学习打一款电子游戏。幸运的话会有教程,第一份工作是熟悉门道,有人在教你。你的经理可能会给你一些简单的小任务,你能完成,即使失败了后果也不严重。
我确实有这种感觉,我也和很多职业早期的从业者聊过。你感觉自己在学习游戏规则,摸索物理引擎,想刷高分。
你在游戏中越来越得心应手。你会失败,但你开始建立一种信心——失败后会从中学到东西,会变得更好。你变得非常擅长这款游戏。你获得晋升,获得奖励,解锁新关卡,教别人怎么玩。你开始觉得自己很了不起。
但突然之间,你被放到一个位置上,你意识到游戏的规则并不是非黑即白的。也许现在你的行动和看到得分之间有了很长的延迟。事情开始以意想不到的方式运转,物理引擎变得诡异,你到了一个漂浮在空中的关卡。我不知道该用什么比喻。
但你开始意识到发生了巨大的变化。最可怕的是,你环顾四周,每个人都看着你,仿佛你是这款游戏的设计师,而你一直以为自己是玩家。这就是进入领导角色时的感觉——又回到了那种”让我走到今天的东西,无法带我走向明天”的感受。
我与很多领导者合作过,有时这种落差带来了相当大的代价——也许是你的幸福感、健康、婚姻。会存在一种存在主义式的危机:“我不知道自己是否还热爱这件事。“也许会导致倦怠(burnout)。也许没那么严重,只是一种感觉——环顾四周,我需要成为某种样子,我需要解锁别的东西才能继续走这条路。由此而来的是一种被困住的感觉。
创造型与反应型领导力
我逐渐意识到,这其实是一个分水岭,指向一个领导力中非常基础的概念。我不是这个概念的提出者,它一次又一次地出现。它并不新鲜,听起来也会很熟悉。就像吉尔伽美什(Gilgamesh)的大洪水神话出现在世界各地的口述历史中一样,它并不新鲜。
Conscious Leadership Group 是我很欣赏的一个组织,他们称之为”线上”(above the line)与”线下”(below the line)。布琳·布朗(Brené Brown)称之为勇敢型(daring)与盔甲型(armored)领导力,或者智者(sage)与战士(warrior)。即使在体育领域,也有”为赢而战”(playing to win)与”为不输而战”(playing not to lose)之分。这个概念一再出现。Leadership Circle 称之为创造型(creative)与反应型(reactive),这也是我要采用的术语,我喜欢这个说法。
区别很简单。你是出于恐惧在回应世界——看到的是问题和威胁,想要证明自己是对的,想要被喜欢,采取的是一种向内收缩的姿态?还是出于开放、可能性、好奇心、热情、成长和使命感在回应世界?概念很简单,几乎所有人都能理解我的意思,它很直观。
但紧接着每个人都会说几句话。“听起来太棒了,我更想要那种状态”,或者”我确实有过那样的时刻”。但随之而来的通常是几个问题:“我不知道这是否行得通,听起来不太有效,这可能吗?“然后是,“怎么做到?”
关于是否有效这个问题,其实我们可以回答——是的,它确实更有效。Bob Anderson 和 Bill Adams 是两位管理学家,他们做了大量研究,撰写了大量文章,从你能想到的每一个维度考察了成功——包括领导力能力、收入、品牌、盈利能力等等——结果表明,是的,创造型领导力在所有维度上都与成功正相关,而反应型领导力则与成功负相关。所以,是的,它确实有效。
然而,根据他们的研究,大约 75% 的领导者主要在以反应型方式运作。也就是说,大多数领导者是从恐惧出发,在做出反应,看到的是问题和威胁。这是因为”怎么做到”这个问题太难回答了。它不是拨一下开关就能解决的。它回到了重新设计内在操作系统这个概念——你如何面对世界,你内心深处有哪些信念体系和假设在驱使你从那个地方运作。
Lenny: 能快速问个问题吗?为了厘清这两面的区别,处于反应型那一边有什么迹象?我想你提到的一点是,你会很在意别人怎么看你,努力确保他们喜欢你。还有什么能让听众意识到,“哦,也许我掉进了这个陷阱”?
Ken Norton: 没错,你抓住了关键——就是那种恐惧,那种从焦虑出发运作的状态。根据我们的心态和方法不同,表现形式也不同。我喜欢用”姿态”(postures)这个词,因为它似乎更容易让人产生共鸣——我们退入反应型模式的不同方式。恐惧和焦虑就是信号,你就是这样知道的。你会感觉”我在线下了”,满眼都是问题,看到的都是威胁。
我们的大脑天生就是这样运作的,所以这并没有错。这些大脑是在——我不知道——冰河时代被野兽追杀时学会这样做的。这是我们的常态。可能有不同的渴望和需求驱使你以这种方式运作。我们认为主要有三种这样的姿态。
每个人可能同时具有不止一种,所以这不是在贴标签,不是要把你装进一个盒子里。但很可能其中一种比其他更能引起你的共鸣。比如渴望被认可、渴望被爱、渴望别人喜欢你。这就是我职业生涯早期的状态。
Lenny: 我也是。
Ken Norton: 对,所以你算是心型的那种。有时也叫”趋向他人型”。很大程度上这跟我的环境有关。我入行做产品管理的时候,没人真正知道这个岗位是干什么的。我没有任何职权,大多数人如果想的话完全可以不理我。所以我不得不去迎合别人的期望,取悦他们,希望被接纳,寻求他们的认可。这就是我们所说的”顺从型”方式。
这之所以让人苦恼,是因为它其实效果很好,挺管用的。别人喜欢跟我合作。我会倾听他们,考虑每个人的需求,确保每个人都觉得自己被听到了。但到了某个阶段,我让渡了太多权力,以至于在目标感、执行力和决断力方面开始伤害到自己。
所以说,这些方式本身并不坏。它们背后通常有一些非常好的底层倾向。只是随着你职位越来越高,它开始产生代价。就像齿轮开始慢慢卡住一样。
另一种方式更多是需要证明自己正确、属于脑型的,保护自己的想法,有时被称为”远离型”——疏远、傲慢、批评、退缩到自己的想法和头脑中。还有一种你应该不会意外,就是更偏控制型的,“不听我的就走人”,独裁式,要对抗、要赢、要当第一、要卓越、要主导、要控制,这是另一种倾向。
通常其中一种对你来说很自然,而另一种则让你觉得难以置信地令人生厌,你简直无法想象以那种方式行事。这涉及到底层信念的部分。如果在我职业生涯早期,当你看到我那样被动、讨好别人的时候,有人告诉我:“你只要别再在意别人怎么想就行了,Ken。你得更强硬一点。”
确实有人这么对我说过。这在绩效评估中还挺常见的,非常常见。甚至我的下属都说:“你得学会反驳。“但我心里那个唯一的原型就是独裁型、控制型的那种人。我想的是:“我不想变成那样。那种人是个混蛋。那是法西斯。我不想当法西斯。我确实在乎别人。”
所以我们脑海中的很多范例和原型,其实同样是无效的反应型行为模式。也难怪我不想变成那样,因为那同样也不怎么有效。但对我来说,有一种重新定义的感悟……这也是教练式辅导之所以有力量的地方——它帮你看到那些让你一直依赖某些基本行为模式、无法放手的底层假设和信念是什么?
因为对我来说,答案不是”不再关心别人”。我不打算那样做。那是我的价值观,是我的一部分。而是把对他人的关心、共情、连接,用一种更有创造力的方式引导出来,让你从一个目标感和愿景出发去行动,而不是在反应、防御、保护和自己想要被认可。
从被喜欢到被信赖
对我来说,关键在于放下”需要被喜欢”的执念,把它重新定义为一种经过时间沉淀而产生的信赖。也就是说,不再是”我希望走出这个房间时每个人都喜欢我”,而是开始意识到我想成为这样的领导者——十年后人们会说:“我愿意毫不犹豫地再跟那个人共事。“这就是我突破的关键之一。
再说一遍,我在乎别人。这是天生的天赋,是底层的基础。但它需要被重新定义——重新定义它如何为我所用,如果这说得通的话。
Lenny: 假设有人就在第一种类型里……我绝对曾经就在那个类型里。我现在还是希望别人喜欢我,这方面可能还是有缺陷。但假设你是一个产品经理,你说:“天哪,我现在的行为方式就是这样。“听起来核心是不是就是一次心态的转变——从”我需要别人喜欢我”转变到你刚才说的”我要让他们随着时间推移逐渐信赖我”?这就是核心吗?我知道可能没那么简单,但现在处在这个类型里的人应该怎么做?
Ken Norton: 对,听起来很简单,对吧?这就是这件事难的地方——当你走完这段旅程之后再描述,它听起来总是很容易。就像你去问一个站在珠穆朗玛峰顶的人,他会说:“嗯,我就爬了这座山,就到这了。“你会想:“等等,这可没那么简单。“还是那句话,这非常因人而异。
我觉得首先要意识到,你得理解是什么在阻碍你。这也是我和客户做的很多工作——那些底层期望是什么?那些底层信念是什么?
我曾经相信自己的风格与做领导者是相矛盾的。我会说我当不了 CEO,因为我不够强硬,不够强大,不够有号召力,我镇不住场子。好,那么我对领导力所做的底层假设是什么?我脑海中有一个领导者原型,跟我的行事方式不兼容。
所以需要直面这个问题。好吧,是什么让你相信唯一类型的领导者就是那种发号施令的?也许我见过的大多是这种。也许我不相信还有可能成为另一种领导者。也许有一个内心批评者在说服我那不是我,因为这里涉及的是重新定义——对你来说,真诚的领导力需要什么?对我来说,以目标感去领导、果断决断、以愿景引领、同时让别人感到被带动、被倾听、被参与、为他人创造安全空间,那会是什么样的?这就是当时要回答的问题。
教练与反馈的力量
这需要有人来挑战我的观点。需要跟教练合作,让他问我问题,迫使我看到那些我以为必然成立的关联,其实并非必然。教练工作中有很多工具和评估方法。比如 360 度评估在这里非常有帮助,它会开始帮你理解——嘿,这些方面你在以主动型方式运作,这些方面你其实很有创造型,因为顺便说一句,大多数人都部分处于这段旅程中的某个位置。这是一个发展过程。
然后开始能够获得反馈——那种当你以不同方式做事时发现”这样其实更有效,而且代价没那么大”的成就感。我更快乐,更享受,看到它在起作用——这往往是整个过程的重要部分,因为内心深处有一种信念觉得”这行不通”。有很多次我在教练辅导中对客户说:“如果你那样做了呢?“他们说:“就是行不通的。“你会意识到内心有这样一套神经回路需要……这就是我说的那个需要重新调整的”操作系统”,让它开始去想象”如果行得通呢”以及”你怎么知道行不行得通”。
Lenny: 你刚才说的那个观点——你可以意识到自己可以通过很多不同的方式获得成功,而不必非得是某一种领导者原型——跟我的经历非常有共鸣。我其实请了几个月的执行教练,那可能是我最大的突破。我们做了优势测评,很多人都做过。她帮我看到的最重要的东西是:你可以通过你已有的优势来完成你想做的所有事情,而不必强迫自己去擅长那些其他的东西,因为达成同样目标的方式有很多种。
从反应型到创造型的职业转变
Ken Norton: 完全正确。一旦你开始理解这一点,你就能更好地找到适合自己的地方、环境和角色。我们谈话一开始,你问我是什么让我进入高管教练这个领域的。我会有这种感觉……我会把它描述为在职业生涯中飞得离太阳太近——我会带一个团队,管理一个小团队,我很享受,很热爱。然后突然间我的团队扩大了。我变得比我感到舒适的级别更资深。然后我觉得自己不再做”真正的”工作了。然后我就完全心烦意乱、很不满足。然后我就去找一个更小的团队,甚至不再做管理。这是一条非常曲折的反应型道路。就像每隔一段时间我会赶上一次浪潮,我知道在浪潮上的感觉,但我不知道浪潮的特征是什么。
然后通过教练辅导,我意识到我喜欢与人连接,我喜欢帮助别人成长,我喜欢帮助别人挑战自我,我喜欢帮助他人。然后我想,这些部分是什么?如果我把它们拆开来看呢?哦,原来这就是为什么我热爱管理那个五人团队,因为我能做很多这样的事。这就是为什么我讨厌管理一个三十五人的团队,因为没有时间做这些。然后你开始说,好吧,如果不是随机地在我的职业中曲折前行,而是真正提升”需要与人连接”、“想要帮助他人”这些需求呢?然后你会想,如果我走向帮助型职业会怎样?这只是一个重新框定的过程——从以某种外部看来符合某种成功定义的方式走过你的职业,转变为开始从内部定义成功。
这就是反应型与创造型思维方式的定义。反应型,让世界设定期望然后努力去满足它们;创造型,则是触及你真正、真实的使命感和愿景,然后用它来导航这个世界。
Lenny: 有意思的是,这其中很大一部分只是心态的问题。并不是要学习什么新技能作为领导者或产品经理,而是以不同的方式看待自己在世界中的位置。突然间你的职业就解锁了。你是这样认为的吗?
内在工作:心态转变的力量
Ken Norton: 完全如此。这就是为什么我认为过多关注技能、框架,在你发展这些能力的过程中可能是有限的,因为这是内在的工作。我们讨论的是——这一切都是我自己的事。
这其实是一种赋能。能够说”我想改变一些东西”,而这不需要去说服一大堆其他人,不需要卷入什么高管层面的……这一切都是我自己的事。但从另一个角度来说,这也让它变得更难,因为这一切都是你自己。在教练辅导中,一切都是关于你。就是关于——我是谁?什么对我来说是重要的?有哪些底层信念系统、内在声音在以我希望的方式挑战我?我的独特之处是什么……
我喜欢”真实性”这个词。就像你刚才说的,什么是属于我的真实的领导方式,然后如何以此为中心,而不是试图去适应别人对领导力的定义。你可能会意识到,我无法在这个地方或这种类型的公司以那种真实的方式领导,但我知道如何找到它,我会去找。
目标从外部定义到内部定义
Lenny: 你还有没有更多的例子,不管是某人发现了关于自己的什么,还是在其他方面的心态转变,类似于”我会从长期角度而不是当下考虑人员”那种?
Ken Norton: 有的。确实因人而异。当目标的定义从外部转向内部时,你就能察觉到这种转变。比如你和刚开始接受教练辅导的人交谈,你说:“你想要什么?“他们会说:“嗯,我想晋升到 VP。""为什么?""因为我想当 VP。""当 VP 有什么重要的?""因为……”最终答案是,因为那是存在的,那就是我应该做的事。
然后你开始注意到转变,它开始变成这样:“嗯,因为真正对我来说重要的是创造力。我想要生活中有更多创造力。我想要更多挑战他人的能力。“于是你开始感觉到,这更多是从内部来的,而不是从外部来的。这就是转变发生的地方。
每个人的旅程都不同。我认为坦率地说,这也是为什么教练辅导可能并不适合所有人。如果我们回到那个电子游戏的类比,如果你只是想找个人教你教程,让你学会怎么玩这个电子游戏,而旁边坐着我这样一个讨厌鬼,问”玩这个电子游戏对你来说什么很重要”,你会觉得”你能不能直接告诉我怎么拿手柄?你能停下来吗?”
所以它并不总是合适的。我认为很多时候,人们意识到自己已经获得了所有的建议、所有的框架、所有的规则、所有的技巧、所有的提示。他们学过了,掌握了,调整过了,优化过了,认识到了其中的不足,也做了定制化。但他们要达到下一个层次所需的涌现,将同样多地来自内部,甚至更多地来自内部而非外部。这就是转变发生的时刻。
教练与导师的区别
Lenny: 我想对于只是想获得具体操作建议的人来说,那叫导师制(mentorship),对吗?相对于教练辅导而言?
Ken Norton: 我想是的。这里的界限比较模糊,因为有很多做导师的人偶尔也会进入教练角色。也有很多管理者在需要时擅长做教练。所以技能涵盖的范围很广,但问题在于——你有多大程度上希望别人告诉你正确的方式,与你有多大程度上相信根本不存在所谓的正确方式?最终必须是你自己的方式。
这是一个不同的阶段,是职业生涯中不同旅程节点的状态。这也是为什么我倾向于和更多资深高管合作,因为他们不是来找我告诉他们怎么做这份工作的。他们已经学会了怎么做这份工作。只是有某种更深层次的东西需要突破。
Lenny: 对于那些想做这些工作但找不到教练、负担不起教练的人来说,你有没有什么可以自己做的事情,来帮助转变心态、做到你描述的这些?
教练的可获得性
Ken Norton: 这是一个很好的问题。我来告诉你教练行业的一个秘密:任何人都可以自称教练。这个行业非常民主化,这很好。没有守门人,没有门槛,也不需要考取五百个执照。
有大量优秀的教练,价格各异,可接触的程度也不同。所以如果你说”我请不起教练”,我可能会稍微质疑一下——你真的找过了吗?
另一件事是,你不需要找一个做过这个工作的教练。显然我自己做过这个工作,所以我在某种程度上是在拆自己的台。但教练接受过针对任何话题进行教练的训练。所以当我完成教练培训后,我可以就任何事情对你进行教练,其他人也可以。
有时候,找一个从未做过产品管理工作的教练甚至可能更有力量,因为这样就不会出现作弊——教练不会滑向顾问的角色。你可能会问”告诉我该怎么做”,对方会说”我不知道,我没做过这个工作。让我们回到你想要什么上来。“这反而可能是有益的。同样,你不需要教练做过你的工作。
所以我想说,教练非常强大。我真希望自己职业生涯早得多的时候就有一位教练。答案可能是教练比你以为的更容易获得。如果不是这样,我想我们在这里讨论的那些东西——对什么对你重要的内在理解、你的目标感、内心的好奇心——在任何年龄都可以培养。所以在职业生涯的任何时候都可以去审视自己,去思考什么对你重要。
我很喜欢做价值观方面的练习,比如”你的价值观是什么?不对。你真正的价值观是什么?“这是你自己可以做的事情,是你可以去追问的,可以去阅读、去理解的。
导师也可以很棒,尤其是那些不太试图告诉你正确做法、让你直接走他们老路的导师,而是那些带着好奇心、提出问题、在某些方面挑战你、让你可以和他们碰撞想法的导师。
优秀的管理者,尤其是最优秀的产品领导者,知道什么时候该戴上教练的帽子,什么时候适合戴,而且会明确地表达出来——“好,现在让我摘下管理者的帽子,戴上教练的帽子。你真正想做什么?什么对你重要?你的职业方向是什么?“所以我觉得你可以从各个地方获得教练式的帮助。
有很多自我教练可以做。说实话,这也是我接受大量教练培训的一个收获——开始教练自己,比如感受到一种情绪时,问自己教练式的问题。非常强大。这是你有教练时可以做的,没有教练时也可以做的,你可以去探索。
所以我觉得这一切的核心就是保持好奇心,想了解真正的你——内核里的你是谁,什么对你重要,什么对你有意义。这件事有没有教练都可以做。
推荐资源
Lenny: 有没有你推荐的资源,不管是关于价值观练习还是学习这些向自己提问的方法?如果一时想不起来,我们可以放在节目备注里。但有没有什么你建议大家去看看的?
Ken Norton: 有,有一些很好的书。也许我借这个机会推荐几本。
Lenny: 来吧。
Ken Norton: 我们可以在节目备注里放链接。布琳·布朗的《Dare to Lead》(敢于领导)是一本好书。她实际上在书里有一整个关于价值观的章节,直面自己的价值观。我喜欢她的方法,她的网站上也有一些免费资源。
我很喜欢 Conscious Leadership Group 在这个领域的工作。《The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership》(有意识领导的十五项承诺)这本书非常棒。你甚至不需要买书,他们的网站上有大量内容。Jim Dethmer、Diana Chapman 和 Kaley Warner Klemp 是那本书的合著者。书里讲的大部分就是我们一直在讨论的内容。线上和线下的区分就是他们提出来的,正好对应创造型与反应型的立场。这些都非常出色。
如果你想更深入地了解背后的管理科学——如果你像我一样对心理学和管理科学充满好奇——Bob Anderson 和 Bill Adams 的《Mastering Leadership》(掌握领导力)围绕创造型与反应型构建了一整套完整的整合体系。
剧透一下,他们识别出五个领导力层级,其中反应型是第二层,创造型是第三层。再往上就进入了 integral 和 unitive 阶段。如果你想解锁创造型之后的进阶阶段,书里有很多精彩内容,那些也是所有研究的来源。
从成人发展的角度,Robert Kegan 是成人阶段发展研究和意义构建领域的教父级人物,这些正是支撑我们讨论内容的底层理论。他有一本很好的书叫《Immunity to Change》(对改变的免疫),如果你对此感兴趣的话。
Lenny: 太好了,我们会在节目描述里放上所有这些链接,这样大家就不用到处搜索了。在转到其他话题之前,我还有几个关于教练的问题。一个是——你觉得产品人最常见的盲点是什么?大家最容易在什么地方给自己挖坑?
产品人最常见的盲点
Ken Norton: 哦,这个问题很好。我想第一类——我不确定它是否算一个具体问题,更像是一类问题——也是我觉得对职业生涯早期的人来说很有价值的一课——就是:高管们面对的所有挑战中,有多少归根到底是人的问题,而不是产品的问题。
设计产品、做优化、做用户发现和测试,这些确实有趣。但当你坐下来跟一位高管交谈时,谈的全是人。
那才是最难的部分。是关于说服他人,让一群人愿意协作,想办法应对棘手的个性,设定并清晰传达愿景,营造一个让大家能够合作、能够发挥的环境。
所以我认为这类盲点往往是:人们在面对这种情况时,才意识到自己从未有意识地把这当作一项需要培养的技能、需要提升的领域。
产品管理中一个让我觉得非常令人兴奋的地方是:从做产品管理的第一天起,你就是一位领导者。领导力无处不在,而这正是你的本职工作。你是一个领导者。你没有任何正式权力,但你是领导者。人们期望你去领导。
猜怎么着?做领导者最难的部分,恰恰是你不能仅仅依靠正式权力的时候。所以从第一天起,你就在练习领导力中最难的部分——因为你不是任何人的老板。你可以磨炼这些技能,培养这些直觉,越做越好。这样当有一天——如果这适合你——你成为别人的老板时,你已经有了可以倚仗的积累。
所以人的维度是产品管理中极其重要的一个方面。我发现的——这也可能算一类盲点——是人们直到被放在一个需要产生影响力的位置上时,才意识到自己没有发展出这些技能,没有培养出通过所有这些人来推动工作的能力,而这……
发展人际技能的方法
Lenny: 你实际上要怎么在这方面变得更好,或者说怎么发展这些技能呢?
Ken Norton: 我认为首先要认识到这是工作的一部分。这很重要。也许我成长的那个时代,人们经常把这些dismiss为”软技能”——觉得软技能是有用的,但不是你真正需要花功夫去提升的东西,不是你需要训练的,不是你需要……
这部分同样重要,它是同等的……我最近写了一篇文章,讲的是艺术与科学的关系。艺术指的是沟通、协作,以及那些更模糊、更柔软的技能,关于人的东西。这些东西应当被提升到同等重要、甚至随着时间推移变得更为重要的位置,与你所有的专业技能、技术、战术——比如管理backlog——这些你不得不做的事情同等看待。你应该像投资那些其他技能一样去投资这些能力。
所以,如果你跑去参加一个培训,学习某种技术性的dashboard分析方法,那你为什么不去参加一个培训,学习如何进行艰难对话呢?因为关于艰难对话的培训确实有很多非常出色的,或者去学学storytelling的训练。这些都是会在实际工作中发挥作用的非常重要的因素。
我的建议是,要真正意识到这些东西会非常重要,去练习它们、重视它们,不要觉得它们是以后才需要关注的,或者是一种干扰,或者不是工作真正的一部分。
Lenny: 我觉得人们之所以不做这方面的工作,原因就是它太难了。艰难对话本身就是”艰难”的。我们之前和 Trey Hass 也聊过这个。但就像一条经验法则——那些难做的事情,往往就是你应该去做的事情。它就像一个指南针,指向你该去做的方向。
Ken Norton: 完全同意。我们产品经理就是做难的事情的,这就是我们的本质。所以当某件事看起来很难,看起来软绵绵的,看起来很难用三步法则来概括的时候,它很可能就是真正重要的东西。这又回到了心态转变的问题上。这意味着你有机会重新调整自己内在的复杂性管理系统,去适应你现在看到的那个新的复杂性领域——因为这些东西确实让人感觉很模糊。而这恰恰是更需要你去把握它、抓住它、重视它、从中学习和成长的原因。
冒充者现象
Lenny: 说到困难和模糊的东西,我猜你指导的人面临的最大挑战之一、也是反复出现的主题之一,就是冒充者综合征,人们经历冒充者综合征。这绝对也是我经历过的,而且在这个播客上经常被提到。当你的客户感到冒充者综合征的时候,你通常建议他们怎么做?
Ken Norton: 这个问题问得好。心理学界的人总会纠正我,说应该叫”冒充者现象”,因为严格来说它不是一种功能障碍。所以我学会了用他们的术语。不过确实,几乎每个人在某个阶段都会经历它。研究也证实了这一点……它就是你怀疑自己的能力、觉得自己是个骗子、觉得自己不属于这里的那些时刻。
说起来挺有意思的,因为我现在审视自己内在的情绪状态,也有一点这种感觉,因为我内心有一部分在说:“你又不是一个受过训练的心理学家。” 当我说那番话的时候——虽然严格来说它确实是一种现象——但内心有个声音在说:“你在说什么?你根本不知道自己在说什么。你凭什么在这里……”
Lenny: 我们会在节目里加个免责声明的。
Ken Norton: 对,我不是心理学家。所以你看,我们都有这种感觉。我现在就有一部分在想自己会说错话、出丑。产品经理、产品领导者可能更容易如此,因为这个角色本身就是跨职能的、定义模糊的。工作中总会有某个边缘领域,你觉得自己不如和你对接的那个人有资格。这是角色的本质决定的。我们永远不会比工程师更懂工程,比设计师更懂设计……所以这些触发点无处不在。
我发现,当然是在指导客户的过程中,仅仅知道这一点就能带来一些缓和和共鸣。就是那种——“哦,你也有这种感觉?哦,我也有。” 这本身就是有价值的。
我觉得有必要在这里暂停一下,说一个问题:存在一种风险,就是我们会轻视、甚至可能将冒充者现象武器化,用来针对特定的群体——尤其是女性、各种性别的有色人种,以及有色人种女性,她们面临的是真实的、来自外部的反馈和对其能力的质疑。
环境在不断强化这些感受,这也是很多问题的来源——微歧视、偏见、真实的歧视行为。所以我认为,在助人行业中,我们始终需要谨慎,不能把它简单地dismiss为一个只需要让个人自己去解决的问题。如果说”哦,那只是你的冒充者综合征,自己处理一下吧”,那很容易忽视所有那些导致冒充者综合征的系统性问题。
所以我合作的那些领导者,我认为我们有特殊的责任——既要面对自己内在的动态,也要认识到我们在更广泛的环境中扮演的角色可能正在助长这些问题的产生。如果你是一个领导者,你有特殊的责任去拆解这些东西,而不是在和你的团队成员见面时说”哎,那只是你的冒充者综合征,你可以自己克服的,找个教练吧”,而是要能够认识到:“好,等一下,你接收到了什么信号?是什么问题在推动这一切?我们在其中需要改变什么?” 我认为这一点值得指出。
顺便提一下,几年前《哈佛商业评论》有一篇很好的文章,标题大概就叫《Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome》。两位作者是 Ruchika Tulshyan 和 Jodi-Ann Burey,如果你感兴趣想深入了解的话可以去看看。
内在批判者与自我对话
作为教练,我们有各种各样被训练过的方法来处理这个问题。很多时候我们把它看作内在批判者、内在的声音。我们都有各种声音,各种”破坏者”。它们往往试图帮助我们,出发点是好的,但它们的发展方式是为了在某些方面保护我们。所以获得对这些声音的觉察——就是那种”哦,这是一个内在批判者,它正在试图这样做”的认知——会产生一种有价值的自我抽离,真正的……
我喜欢这样想:你内心有一个董事会,有一些吵闹的、喋喋不休的声音,时不时地坐到主席的椅子上,开始接管局面。如果你开始意识到:“等等,不,我才是主席。我现在不想听你说话,以后再听你的。” 这就开始赋予你一些力量,你也会开始注意到它正在发生。
绕过内在批判者有时候是一种经典的教练技巧。就像:“好的,我听到这是你的内在批判者在说话。如果我们请它暂时退到一边呢?我们继续聊。”
你也可以和它做朋友。有很多实践和方法实际上是在试图理解它的动机是什么。你可以把它想象成一个董事会,给这个董事一个新的任务,把它放到一个新的委员会,重新分配它的角色。
内在批判者与教练技巧
Ken Norton: 背后往往有一些深层的信念系统。我们之前谈到过我对”真正的领导者应该是什么样的”这个问题的印象。所以,当那些自我怀疑——怀疑自己不是真正的领导者、不够资格——出现时,它们其实来自一些潜在假设,即认为唯一有效的领导方式就是那种拍桌子、强势出击的人。
那么,如果我们重新定义呢?“我太善良了,不适合当领导。我不够强势、不够有号召力。” 当你作为教练听到客户这样说时,你会意识到,好的,这里有一条关于”什么是有效领导、什么不是”的关联。让我们来审视这条关联。这条关联真的是对的吗?
说到底,这又回到了那个问题——你往往是在回应你所看到的其他风格和方法,你在把自己和别人比较。这就是反应型心态:我总是在拿自己和那个人、那股浪潮、那个存在比较,然后觉得自己不如人家。所以,内在的功课就是开始看见真正的自己是谁,减少与他人的比较。
不过,冒充者现象、冒充者综合征,随便你怎么叫,非常普遍,也很”流行”。不过当我说是”流行”的时候,它就像一部戏剧的流行。
Lenny: 对。我听说过的另一个应对内在批判者的技巧——我自己也用过一阵子,挺有帮助的——就是给你的内在批判者起个名字,比如叫 Jim。就像,“Jim,现在不行,我现在不需要你。“这样还挺管用的。
Ken Norton: 是的。我接触过一整个教练流派,叫做”部分工作”(parts work),或者叫内在家庭系统(Internal Family Systems)。它来自一位名叫 Richard Schwartz 的心理学家。这种方法可以非常非常强大。
我会和客户一起给这些部分起名字,想象它们长什么样,采访这些部分。如果你看过皮克斯的电影《头脑特工队》,就是那种感觉——嘿,这些不同的部分以不同的方式登场。我要把真正的我、真实的自我放到主席的座位上。当我听到这些声音时,我会欣赏它们本来的样子,认识它们是谁。它们不是我,它们是我的一部分。
这其中有一种很强大的力量,因为——否则的话,它们全都是”我”。我只是听到一个声音告诉我:我是个白痴,我是个小丑,我没资格坐在这间屋子里。然后当你能开始说,“哦,对,又来了。那是 Larry Loser。我那个又大又生气、烦人的法官,他……对,Larry 每次我做新事情的时候都会出现,因为 Larry 不希望我挑战自己。所以 Larry 当然要跳出来发言。我听到 Larry 说的了,我请 Larry 先退到一边。我们继续吧。” 是的,这可以非常强大。
如何找到适合你的教练
Lenny: 我很喜欢这个。最后一个关于教练的问题。对于那些想找教练的人,你有什么建议吗?怎么找到一位教练,然后可以问哪几个问题来评估他们是否适合你?
Ken Norton: 好问题。我觉得,就像任何助人行业一样——找心理治疗师,或者任何你要与之建立深度持久关系的人——信任和真实性真的很重要。作为教练,我们都有这样的感受,客户也有同感:要么合适,要么不合适。有时候很难说清楚为什么。有时候你和某人见面,会觉得,“对,来电了,感觉对了。” 有时候你会觉得,“嗯,不对,” 这完全没问题。所以,任何靠谱的教练都会提供一次免费对话,来了解这一点、感受这一点。
我总是在那次对话中告诉大家,如果你决定不和我合作,或者我决定不合作——我们不需要理由。没关系。就是不适合,这很正常。你不需要列出一堆理由来婉拒我。这就是这个过程的一部分。
你可能更偏好某些特定的人,特定的性别、特定的背景。你可能会对某些特质感到更舒适或更不舒适。也许你想要一个像我这样的老家伙,也许你确实想要一个像我这样的老家伙,这完全没问题。感觉必须是对的。
我会请他们跟你说说,对他们而言教练是什么,因为,同样地,它可能结合了一些更偏导师性质的元素,也可能更偏战术层面。有些教练更结构化:“第一周,我们做这个;第二周,我们做这个;第三周……” 另一些像我这样则是更纯粹的教练——听着,在前五分钟内我就会问你今天想聊什么,因为议程是你带来的。所以把这些搞清楚,搞清楚什么对你有效。
然后我觉得有很多很好的渠道可以去找。具体去哪里找的话,国际教练联合会(International Coaching Federation)是我们的管理机构。那些获得认证的教练你都能在那里找到。同样,你不一定非要找有认证的,但那会是一个找到认证教练的好地方。
还有一些匹配服务,BetterUp、Torch,以及一些更容易接触到的平台。还有一个叫 Prismatic 的,稍微高端一些,面向更资深的高管。Scale 刚刚发布了一份与产品经理和产品领导者合作的顶级教练名单,上面有各种优秀的教练。我们可以附上那个链接。Lenny,我记得你也参与了。
Lenny: 对。恭喜你赢得了他们其中一个类别的最佳教练奖——是哪个类别来着?
Ken Norton: 产品领导力。所以,是的,刚才就是专门设好让你说出这句话的。不过谢谢。不过那里有大量优秀的教练,风格不同,适合不同职业阶段。我觉得那些人都有和产品人合作的经验。
所以,同样地,多聊几位,联系几位,问问他们。如果你想要更多名字,去问问你钦佩的人,问问那些你欣赏其领导风格、想要效仿的人,看他们推荐谁。因为他们往往更了解,嘿,你可能需要的是这种类型的教练——更偏情感工作的,或者那种实际上更符合你需求的教练。因为,说到底,每个教练都不一样。你可以看得出来,我是一个感性的、走心的教练。
也有些教练是——有时候人们想要一个教练,就是那种”去抓住那个最高处的环。我们来拍桌子。我会推你、挑战你、鞭策你。我更像一个教官。” 那是一种不同风格的教练,适合不同的人。那可能更符合你在找的东西。
所以我会建议多聊几位,做一些免费体验,有机会探索一下。我在免费对话中也会做教练。所以不是光聊天——我们会聊一个话题,我会教练你,你会感受到这到底是怎么一回事。然后回过头来问问自己,你的目标是什么,哪里有契合感。如果没有,就继续找。
10X 与 10%
Lenny: 太棒了,这些非常实用的建议。我真的很感谢你分享的这些资源,我们一定会在简介里附上所有链接。在进入精彩的快问快答环节之前,我还有几个关于教练之外的问题想问你,围绕你之前写过的一些文章。其中一个是关于 10X 与 10% 的想法。
你写过一篇文章,讲的是 10X 思维与 10% 思维的重要性。说实话,我其实也起过一篇帖子的草稿,题目就叫”10X 与 10%“。我当时想,“这一定很棒。” 然后我一搜——哦,Ken 已经写过了。所以我很高兴你已经写了,而且写得那么好。
Ken Norton: 英雄所见略同嘛。
10X 与 10% 思维
Lenny: 这下我就不用写了。我很想听听你对这个想法的整体看法,以及如何思考 10X 或 10% 的押注。
Ken Norton: 再说一次,我是一个很擅长综合想法的人。这不是我的原创,它很大程度上来自 Google 的一些思考和实践。我认为核心在于,我们有时候想得太小了。你会在我写的其他东西中也看到这个主题。我们需要一种推动力。如果你真的想实现巨大的突破性创新,你需要敢于尝试,敢于失败。你需要敢于射月——这就是 10X 的来源。
很大程度上这是一种心态,但很大程度上也是一种文化。是去创造这样的环境……我非常有幸在 Google 工作了 14 年。我觉得那里确实给了我一个可以放手去玩的环境,可以愿意去做那些可能会失败的大胆尝试。
这并不意味着公司明天就会倒闭。而是说,如果你面前有一个选择——要么尝试可能带来巨大突破、巨大变革的事情,要么稳扎稳打地获得一堆 10% 的改进——假以时日,如果你愿意尝试,愿意失败,愿意挑战自我,愿意想得更大,愿意创造那样的环境——伟大的想法往往来自意想不到的地方——你就会实现巨大的突破。
你可以在我的网站上找到那篇文章,里面我引用了一些历史案例,但核心就是要勇敢,要去尝试大事情。如果你看看所有伟大的技术、那些巨大的突破性创新——比如冠状病毒疫苗——天哪,那不是什么稳扎稳打能做出来的。那是一次非常大的冒险,没有任何成功的保证,但我们愿意去尝试,愿意去面对失败,尽管失败很可能是更可能的结果,但我们仍然愿意去博那个真正实现突破性成就的机会。
所以,我经常挑战领导者去做的事情,就是创造一个让人们敢于站出来、敢于提出这类想法的环境,而不是求稳,不是说”哎,这个看起来太大了,如果我们把这个拿给 CEO,他们肯定不会冒险。那我们把期望降低一点,拿一个更有把握成功的小点子去吧。”
因此,领导者有义务为人们创造能够创新的环境,因为想法就在那里。我用柯达的例子。柯达发明了数码相机。并不是柯达的人蠢,不知道数字化时代要来了。不,他们确确实实发明了数码相机。只是当时没有创造出一个环境,让那些拥有这个想法、看到这种潜力和可能性的人能够站出来、放手去试。
Lenny: 你有没有什么经验法则,比如你的想法和资源中有多少应该投入到这些大想法中,又有多少应该投入到渐进式的 10% 押注中?还是说你的通用建议就是人们往往想得不够大、频率也不够高,所以应该总是比自己的本能再多想大一点?
Ken Norton: 我觉得要看情况。取决于公司。如果你在研发部门、实验室工作,也许所有的事情都属于那个类别,你需要构建一个投资组合。如果你是风险投资的种子投资者,或者在研究实验室工作,那你就是在构建一个由大量押注组成的投资组合。你默认 99 个可能会失败,但一个成功就够了,一切就都值了。
我们大多数人不在那样的环境中。我们在的地方有真实的客户在购买我们的产品、想要我们的产品、使用我们的产品。我们不能说”把整个公司押在 50 个可能行不通的事情上”。这可能不适合你。
所以我觉得这是一种思路上的问题。不过我认为需要以分形的方式来思考,因为在公司层面,也许他们有自己的分配方式——Google 曾经有一个 70-20-10 的做法:70% 是核心业务,就是搜索和广告的时间;20% 是相邻业务;然后 10% 押在那些可能什么都不是的疯狂想法上。
但那是公司层面的。在个人层面、在你的团队层面,你可能有自己的思考方式。你可能会想,好,我有 12 个工程师,我们任何时候都在做一堆确定要做的事情,一堆希望带来 10% 改进的事情。然后我们还要留出一些创新的空间。也许只是每个冲刺安排一个工程师,或者一年做几次。
你在自己的小环境中创造那样的空间——不一定是在投资组合层面——去尝试那些可能行不通的事情。但如果成功了,回报会非常可观,足以让一切变得值得。
如何招聘产品经理
Lenny: 太好了,非常有帮助。下一个问题是关于你写过的最受欢迎的帖子,也许也是让你在写作领域崭露头角的那篇文章——关于如何招聘产品经理。是不是也是在那个时候你第一次提到了甜甜圈?是这样吗,还是不是?
Ken Norton: 有意思,我觉得那是后来的事了。
Lenny: 好的。
Ken Norton: 对,我觉得那是那篇文章之后的一次演讲。
Lenny: 好的,酷。
Ken Norton: 那确实是我最重要的一篇文章。
Lenny: 那问题来了,简单来说,你对招聘产品经理的人有什么建议?你认为最容易被忽视、或者最有用的一点是什么?
Ken Norton: 我觉得是那些无形的东西。那篇文章最初其实是一封邮件,对我来说就是一个复制粘贴的模板。当时不断有人来找我,说”嘿,我们公司打算招一个产品经理,你能发一份示例职位描述过来吗?“我会说”好,在写职位描述之前,我们先聊聊这个职位到底是什么,因为我不确定我们说的是同一件事。“于是我写了那篇文章……那是 2005 年的事了,所以这要追溯到很久以前——目的是试图定义这个角色到底是什么。
我其实觉得现在钟摆可能摆得太远了——面试流程变得过于结构化。每个人都在做各种模拟,大家都知道会被问到什么问题。就像 SAT 备考一样,人人都准备好了。但我们忽略了一个问题:他们能不能胜任这份工作?因为他们能通过面试,但他们能真正做这份工作吗?
所以我觉得你需要小心。尤其是如果你是一家较小的公司,没有 Google、Meta 那样庞大的体系——那些面试巨头有一整套说服你进入流程的机制……也许这又回到了科学和艺术那个话题。他们通过了所有的技术问题,做了所有这些、那些。但你却忽略了去发现这个人能不能和这些工程师、设计师一起工作?能不能激励他们?是不是一个大家愿意追随的人?他们是否具备这份工作所需的正确心态?我们对他们的工作职责是否真正达成了共识?
面试者的视角
Ken Norton: 你会看到很多职业早期的人说,“我以为招进来是做这个的,结果那根本不是产品管理”,或者”我以为我会做这个,但他们只想让我建收费功能”。怎么会这样呢,面试流程里居然没发现?我知道为什么没发现——因为他们回答了一堆围绕结构化的问题,做了一个编程练习,做了一个演示展示,但没有人停下来问一句最基本的话。
所以我觉得从面试官的角度来看,这确实是最关键的一点。我觉得从候选人的角度也是一样的。你也在面试一个潜在的雇主,面试一个未来的老板,面试未来的同事。你想要什么?你在乎什么?你想在一个什么样的地方工作?你不想在一个什么样的地方?你怎么评估这些?你怎么问这些问题?
薪资当然重要,职级也重要。这些东西都很重要。但你在选择一个把自己安放进去的地方。你是怎么去确保自己做出正确决定的?
闪电问答环节
Lenny: 好了,接下来是我们非常精彩的闪电问答环节。我会问你几个问题,想到什么就回答什么,非常简单。准备好了吗?
Ken Norton: 好了。内在批判者正在疯狂发作。
Lenny: 哦不,实时冒充者综合征。
Ken Norton: 来吧。
Lenny: 第一个问题:你会最常向别人推荐的两三本书是什么?
Ken Norton: 《有意识领导的十五项承诺》,这本肯定要推荐。再加一些我以前没推荐过的。可能是《创新者的窘境》(Innovator’s Dilemma)。这大概是我给产品经理和产品领导力推荐的第一名。
Lenny: 太棒了。最近有喜欢的电影或电视剧吗?
Ken Norton: 我很喜欢《惊奇少女》(Ms. Marvel),我们全家都很喜欢。我喜欢所有漫威电影宇宙的东西,我们简直欲罢不能。《惊奇少女》非常精彩。然后在看《巴里》(Barry),这部剧太疯狂了,电视上大概从来没有过这样的东西。还有过去一年里,大概是《人生切割术》(Severance),这是去年……应该说过去一年我最喜欢的剧。
Lenny: 哇,对,那部剧太迷幻了。我全都看完了。我们可能就是被切割过的人,自己都不知道。
Ken Norton: 你根本不会知道的。
Lenny: 好,你在面试别人时最喜欢问的问题是什么?
Ken Norton: 实际上让我反过来回答吧,因为我刚才已经谈了作为面试官的面试……也许我来分享一个我喜欢让候选人去问雇主的问题。这样可以吗,还是说这太反客为主了?
Lenny: 我很喜欢,可以。
Ken Norton: 我觉得一个很好的问题……其实我有几个。我非常喜欢的一个问题是:这家公司怎么定义产品团队?因为它能揭示非常多的信息——文化、协作方式、决策方式、产品管理的角色定位。如果只能问一个问题来判断这家公司的文化是什么样的,问这个就够了。
我觉得另一个很好的问题是,让候选人举一个他们最近交付的产品例子,然后讲讲它是怎么来的。这个法案是怎么变成法律的?是销售那边有人大叫一声,然后就加进了待办列表变成了下一件事?还是一群人一起理解用户需求,进行探索、构思、尝试一些方案、测试验证?它能很大程度上告诉你在这家公司工作会是什么样,特别是在自主权和产品文化方面。所以这两个大概都是很好的问题。
Lenny: 这些问题真的很好,我要偷走了。最后一个问题:业内还有哪些你尊敬的思想领袖?我想这个名单会很长,但先想到什么说什么?
业内思想领袖
Ken Norton: 这个名单就是你播客上的所有嘉宾,Lenny。说到冒充者现象,这真的是一个令人难以置信的群体,都是我热爱和敬佩的人。不过,也许我会稍微跳出产品领域来回答,因为如果在产品领域内列举,我担心会遗漏太多优秀的名字。
在领导力领域,Amy Edmondson 是我非常敬佩的人。她在心理安全感(psychological safety)方面做了大量工作。我非常珍视她的研究和贡献。还有一位叫 Tom Garrity 的人,他有一个关于心理安全感的通讯。我觉得他之前和 Amy 合作过。Lenny,这是最好的——也许是第二好的——我订阅的通讯中最好的,是关于心理安全感的,非常适合那些想要创造让人们真正茁壮成长、发挥最佳水平的环境的人。
在教练行业,教练行业源于人本主义心理学(humanist psychology)传统,或者说是 Carl Rogers 和 Abraham Maslow 以客户为先的工作。他们两位都是我智识上的英雄。他们都已经去世了。我不知道这里是不是应该说在世的人,但毫无疑问,在我的专业领域里,他们真正奠定了基础,创造了教练行业得以存在的前提环境。所以我要把他们包括进来。
Lenny: 太棒了。Ken,这是一期非常特别的节目,和我之前做过的任何一期播客都不一样。我迫不及待想让大家听到。在结束之前,如果大家想联系你、了解更多,在网上哪里可以找到你?听众们怎样才能帮到你?
Ken Norton: bringthedonuts.com 是我在互联网上的家。我所有的文章都在那里,也可以通过那里联系我。我有一个通讯,偶尔会发一期,但你可以在那里找到我写过的所有东西,也可以联系我。
关于怎么帮到我这个问题,答案很简单,但确实给我带来很多快乐——那就是继续做优秀的产品人。你们就是我的部落,你们与我如此亲近——你们所做的一切,你们带进这个世界的一切,那些我们现在还用不到但你们正在打造的、迫不及待想与我们分享的惊艳产品,还有你们让文化和团队变得更好的努力——你们的存在本身就是如此。所以我说,你们只要继续做你们正在做的事,就是对我最大的帮助。
Lenny: 这个回答太棒了。谢谢你来到这里,Ken。
Ken Norton: 谢谢你邀请我,Lenny。
Lenny: 太精彩了。感谢收听。如果你喜欢这次对话,别忘了订阅播客,更好的是留下一条评论,这会帮助很大。你也可以在 lennyspodcast.com 了解更多。我们下期再见。
术语表
| 原文 | 中文 |
|---|---|
| above the line | 线上 |
| Abraham Maslow | Abraham Maslow |
| Amy Edmondson | Amy Edmondson |
| authenticity | 真实性 |
| below the line | 线下 |
| BetterUp | BetterUp |
| brass ring | 最高处的环(brass ring) |
| Brené Brown | 布琳·布朗 |
| burnout | 倦怠 |
| Carl Rogers | Carl Rogers |
| copy pasta | 复制粘贴模板(copy pasta) |
| creative | 创造型 |
| Dare to Lead | 《敢于领导》 |
| Gilgamesh | 吉尔伽美什 |
| humanist psychology | 人本主义心理学(humanist psychology) |
| Immunity to Change | 《对改变的免疫》 |
| imposter phenomenon | 冒充者现象 |
| imposter syndrome | 冒充者综合征 |
| inner critic | 内在批判者 |
| Innovator’s Dilemma | 《创新者的窘境》(Innovator’s Dilemma) |
| integral | 整合型 |
| Internal Family Systems | 内在家庭系统(Internal Family Systems) |
| International Coaching Federation | 国际教练联合会(International Coaching Federation) |
| Larry Loser | Larry Loser |
| Mastering Leadership | 《掌握领导力》 |
| mentorship | 导师制 |
| microaggression | 微歧视 |
| mock | 模拟面试(mock) |
| parts work | 部分工作(parts work) |
| Prismatic | Prismatic |
| product leadership | 产品领导力 |
| psychological safety | 心理安全感(psychological safety) |
| reactive | 反应型 |
| Richard Schwartz | Richard Schwartz |
| saboteur | 破坏者 |
| SAT prep | SAT 备考 |
| soft skills | 软技能 |
| The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership | 《有意识领导的十五项承诺》 |
| Tom Garrity | Tom Garrity |
| Torch | Torch |
| unitive | 统一型 |
此文档由 AI 分片翻译(translate_long_document)