Kapil Gupta: Conquering the Mind
This interview with Kapil Gupta was exclusively for my email list .
Highlights
Sincerity
Naval: People who ask for stock tips aren’t really serious about investing. People who ask for book recommendations aren’t serious about reading. People who ask, “What, what business should I build?” aren’t really serious about entrepreneurship.
How-To’s
Kapil: Take the person who “made it” and became world-class in whatever he did. If he went back and retraced his steps and did everything again the same way, but this time he did it by mimicking himself, he would fail.
Naval: I can’t watch Roger Federer play tennis and then swing the racket the same way. Nor will any description from him on how to swing the racket get me to swing it the right way. Then we go to intellectual efforts. We ask Warren Buffet why he invested in a company and he can try and create a mental construct as to how he thinks and how he invests in a company. But there are just as many details to Buffett’s activities, when he decides what to invest in and how he lives his life and how he thinks, as there are to Roger Federer’s body running around a tennis court, hitting a ball. At some level, the details are not transmissible. They’re not copyable.
Kapil: The things that you do greatest are the things that you know not how you do.
Truth
Naval: Society is a set of collective lies that we all believe so we can get along. It allows us to establish a lower common denominator consensus so we don’t all kill each other and we can cooperate. We have to maintain these shared fictions for society to function. But there’s a cost to that, and the cost is borne by the individual.
Naval: One of the ways in which I know that I am finding truths is that then problem is solved for good.
Freedom
Kapil: Any freedom that leads to the desire for more freedom is not freedom.
Kapil: Freedom comes from the understanding of where things come from, not the conscious attempt to end them.
Self-Improvement
Kapil: A human being becomes his environment. It is critical to savagely and surgically arrange one’s environment in accordance with where he wants to go.
Kapil: Looking for progress is essentially looking for pleasure. It is the pleasure of self-image, which says, “I’m in a better place now than I was before.”
Transcript
Submitted by
Anthony Garone
Naval: What’s interesting about talking to you, Kapil, is that you’re not for everybody. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. The things you think about and the way you speak really only applies to a very small set of people. This discussion is going to be unique in multiple ways and one of those is that it’s just not going to make sense for most people. It doesn’t mean that you should try and have it make sense to you. It’s not something to aspire to. It’s not some graduate level course. It just doesn’t have interest for most people. But again, it’s not advanced, it’s just different.
Another way in which this differs is that I’m nervous to have this conversation and normally I’m not that nervous about podcasts or conversations. In fact, I’m very confident about them. In this case I’m a little nervous because all the questions that I want to ask you and all the things that I want to discuss with you are intensely personal. If I’m not genuinely interested in the answer, then I’m not really asking the proper question, I’m just showing off for the audience. I’ve been working with you, Kapil, for years now. I forget how long, actually. It’s been quite a while and I’m not proud of that. [Laughter] It’s actually a failure, right? Because whatever I need to figure out, I should have figured out by now. Why do we still have to keep going over the same old ground? But the territory that you’re walking or the things that you’re interested in and your take on them is so unique that it takes time to even just understand the vocabulary and the grammar of how you speak and how you think and how you behave and how you view the world.
There are a couple of keywords we could start with. I’m going to start with the hardest one. It’s hard because it’s the most unique. It’s a word that you use over and over and I don’t think other people really understand what you’re saying. Even I still barely understand what you’re saying. I have some concept of it, but it’s a mental shift that is so important that I think it’s really important to understand and to examine carefully what you mean before we get into the rest. And that word is: prescriptions.
Let’s talk about prescriptions.
Kapil: Prescriptions are “how-tos.” They are hacks and they are techniques and methods, various methodologies to get somewhere. When you talk about something from the standpoint of a mechanical behavior–turning on a computer or riding a bicycle–prescriptions are useful. The problem is that whenever you venture into the realm of art in any form, be it in business or sports or even in the setting of finding peace in your life or freedom or arriving at enlightenment–all of these so-called spiritual pursuits–those things cannot be prescriptionized. If you attempt to prescriptionize them, what happens is: the prescription becomes the new god. You begin to try to live up to the prescription.
In the beginning, you had a place to go. “I want to go to X.” Then you introduce an intermediary: the prescription. “This is how you get to X.” Then what will happen is that your mind will begin to focus upon the intermediary and it will enter into a deal, which it never signed up for. That deal is that for the rest of your life you will attempt to satisfy the intermediary.
In all domains, you have many people who do great things. The Buddha attained enlightenment. You have Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods doing amazing things in golf. Elon Musk and various individuals who do great things in business. Even yourself. If you take what those people did and you write a book and say, “These people did X.” If you follow that, you will not become them. You will not!
Naval: I’ve found business biographies to be useless for building a great business. They’re good for inspiration. I can read Steve Jobs’ bio and be inspired, but I can’t be Steve Jobs. And if I want to be amazing at something, then I have to find my own way there. For mechanical things, how-tos work, but when you’re trying to to operate at the top of a field or when you’re trying to do something creative, how-tos don’t work beyond the most extreme basics. When you’re first starting something, it is actually a mechanical endeavor. You’re just figuring out how to drive a car, but when you’re trying to figure out how to race it around a track faster than anyone else, then all coaches and techniques and prescriptions have to fall by the wayside and you are at the edge of the art.
Kapil: That’s correct. Now the problem is conditioning. There’s only been one loudspeaker in a person’s ear for his entire life, then that is his norm and that is the only language that he knows. That paradigm of “how-to” is so embedded inside the culture. It is so deeply embedded inside the cortex of the human brain that the idea of omitting it, or the idea of even challenging its existence, is completely off-the-wall. It is so otherworldly and antithetical that it takes years to even get to the point where the idea of prescriptions being an impediment to whatever you seek begins to dawn.
Naval: People consider you to be a “spiritual guy” on Twitter. In my understanding, you’re not like that at all. Spirituality is a pointless word. It’s about utility. It’s something useful. Does it get you where you want to go? You’re always talking about extreme performance and that’s why your brand is Siddha Performance. It’s seeking performance, essentially, and seeking the truth that gets you to the highest performance in all things, whether it’s business or sports or peace of mind. This drive towards utility, reality, truth, performance–they somehow wander into spirituality. People interpret them in spiritual ways, but it feels like spirituality is so cluttered with nonsense that it gets lost. Your model makes sense if one realizes that it’s designed to go after extreme performance. If you want to be the best in the world at anything, you cannot follow prescription. If you want to be “okay” at it, then sure you can follow prescription. If you want to learn how to lose a pound a month and get in decent shape, then you can follow a calorie counting worksheet. But if you want to be a shredded bodybuilder or an olympic athlete, you’re not going to get there through how-tos. You’re going to have to create and forge your own path that is unique to you. Would that be a good way of putting it?
Kapil: Well, what I would add to that is that one does not have to want to become the greatest in the world. If you look at the lives of human beings, there’s intense struggle. The guy who works three jobs doesn’t want to work three jobs. He may not want to become Tiger Woods, but he wants to be beyond being forced to work three jobs. What keeps him working three jobs is prescriptions.
The futility of prescriptions does not just “harm” one who wants to become world-class. It gravely harms the one who simply doesn’t want to struggle.
Naval: The way I think about it in the business world is that hard work has very little to do with effectiveness. The grocery store owner or the person working at a restaurant might work 60-80 hours a week and that might be all Elon Musk is working, but Elon is making a lot more money because of his specific knowledge. Knowledge that cannot be taught, but can be learned on the job if you have a strong enough desire. Because Elon is doing the right things, he is far more effective in earning power and the right things (at least in business) can’t be taught because it’s a moving target. It can only give very vague principles that inspire people to head in the right direction, but I can’t teach you how to make money or trade the stock market. It’s like when people ask you for stock tips. No one who’s any good at stock trading gives actionable investment advice in a public forum because all the details are too hard to convey. I can always tell people who ask for stock tips are not really serious about investing. People who ask for book recommendations aren’t really serious about reading. People who ask, “What business should I build?” aren’t really serious about entrepreneurship. People who say, “What career path should I take?” are not really serious about their career. When someone’s asking for a how-to in anything, they aren’t actually that serious about it. If they were truly serious about it, they would figure it out. But, then that leaves the paradoxical question: “Well how do I figure it out?”
Kapil: Take the person who “made it” and become world-class in whatever he did. If he went back and retraced his steps and did everything again the same way, but this time he did it by mimicking himself, he would fail. Even he wouldn’t be able to do it. What has to be understood is that where greatness comes from is a very murky affair. It is nonlinear. It is unpredictable. Perhaps nature and the universe set it up this way that you have to jump in. And once you jump in the soup and you’re being bombarded from all sides and you live in confusion and you have no idea which way is up, if the obsession is there, then what happens is through messy process you find a way. You see light at the end of the tunnel. You forge a path through the jungle. That was not done according to a “how.” You were flailing the entire time. There was no “how” to flail. When you come out of the tunnel and someone asks you how you did it, you have no idea. The thing that’s almost laughable is when you ask a great athlete, “Can you show me how you did that?” They won’t go on and say, “I have no idea.” They will provide you with some semblance of an answer, which is a non-answer. And what they will do is, because there’s a gun pointed to their head and their back’s against the wall, they will create the highlights. When the human being who watches that follows the highlights, he misses. And the reason that he misses is that it’s all the small things.
Naval: I can’t watch Roger Federer play tennis and swing the racket the same way, nor will any description from him on how to swing the racket get me to swing the right way. Then we go to intellectual efforts. We start asking Warren Buffet why he invests in a company and there he can try and create a mental construct as to how he thinks and how he invests in the company, but there are just as many details to Warren Buffet’s activities when he decides what to invest in and how he lives his life and how he thinks as there are to Roger Federer’s body running around a tennis court hitting a ball. The details are not transmissible. They’re not copyable. You can be inspired to try it yourself, but without that sincerity, that obsession, you won’t get there.
Kapil: Not only are the details not transmissible, the detail’s not even knowable.
Naval: Ah, so Warren and Roger don’t even know it themselves.
Kapil: Absolutely not. No great artist knows. The things that you do greatest are the things that you know not how you do them.
Naval: I would argue that you’re not even there when you do them. You’re not consciously thinking about it. I find that when I’m speaking, I do best when I’m not thinking about what I’m going to say and I won’t even hear what I’m going to say until it comes out of my mouth.
Kapil: You become as surprised as the audience as to what you’re going to say. That is just pure. What does pure mean? Pure is not morality and pure is not good. There is not good or bad. That’s a whole other topic itself.
Naval: That’s actually the next topic I want to go to. That’s another set of assumptions that everybody has that to understand, you have to be left by the wayside. What we are doing here is we’re trying to focus on what is true and that means we’re going to speak as honestly as possible, which means that we’re going to be vulnerable, which means we’re going to say things that are socially unacceptable and we’re going to say things that are potentially surprising. It’s very difficult to speak truth in a public forum. Why is that?
Kapil: Because there’s an internal dialogue which says that a person wants the audience to understand.
Naval: There’s definitely that. There’s also a piece of it that society is a set of collective lies that we all believe in so we can get along. It allows us to establish lowest common denominator consensus so that we don’t all kill each other and we can cooperate. But there are these shared fictions that we have to maintain for that society to function, which is fine. There’s a cost to that and the cost is borne by the individual.
Kapil: It all comes back to DNA. Not genetic DNA. DNA in one’s sensibilities, the way that he is wired. For some people’s DNA, what society thinks is almost an insult. If we don’t discuss truth here, then what’s the point of having a conversation? Any compulsion that the audience should understand–and it doesn’t mean that I go out of my way to try to be arcane and abstract, but it isn’t about anyone understanding. It’s about speaking the truth.
Naval: Now that we’ve established that prescriptions don’t work and that we’re here to discover the truth and we’re looking past good and bad and right or writing, and we’re just trying to figure out the answer, let’s pick the first thing that we’re going to dive into. Freedom. What does “freedom” mean to you?
Kapil: Freedom is freedom from the mind. The only reason that any human being is not free is because of his mind. It is the mind which creates his tortures. It is the mind which creates his anxiety. It is the mind which creates his conflicts. It is the mind which creates his rules. All that he is confined by, all that he is imprisoned by, is the mind. Not anything else.
Naval: When I was young, I wanted freedom, but I wanted freedom in the sense that I didn’t want to be trapped inside the house. I wanted to live wherever I wanted. I wanted to be able to make money. I wanted to have a girlfriend. I wanted to go to a place where I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. That’s what I wanted. In my mind, freedom was just getting away from physical constraints, material constraints. I got all that stuff. I traveled the whole world. I ate all the food. I made all the money. I got all the things that I wanted in life.
Yet, the quality of my life did not change that much. The quality of my moment-to-moment experience didn’t change that much. That’s because I hadn’t changed that much. My internal experience was still very much the same. Every time I got something, I wanted the next thing and wanted the next thing and wanted the next thing. All the same pains, tortures, and miseries were still there. Maybe some were better. Obviously, it’s better to be rich than to be poor. It’s better to be healthy than to be sick. But beyond a certain point, my baseline level of peace had not changed that much.
Then I started making a transition to what you’re talking about. Realizing that a lot of these traps were in my mind. But you’ve just jumped all the way. You’re saying, “No, it’s all from the mind from the very beginning.”
Kapil: Yes, any freedom that leads to the desire for more freedom is not freedom. If there’s a bleed, you don’t clean the tributary vessels. You want to look at the source of the bleed. Even if it took someone thirty years to learn the source of the bleed, to learn the truth about what freedom really was, it would be far more effective to begin that journey at the very second as opposed to doing it piecemeal because that will take 900 years.
It is not abstract to say that freedom comes from the mind. What it is is revelatory. The belief is that anxiety and fears and pain arise from circumstance. That they arise from other people. As long as that belief is invested inside of someone, he will spend his life trying to change circumstance and that will be a monumental waste of life and you only get one. So, quite frankly, there isn’t enough time to go piecemeal. It is far better to not understand than it is to go piecemeal because then you’re going on a tributary and that tributary leads to other tributaries. Very soon, you’re way off course.
Naval: What we’re really talking about here is that all of the problems that we struggle with, we tend to externalize. We tend to solve them in the external world. There are certain ones that are practical in the external world: Do I have food? Do I have shelter? Those kinds of things. But beyond a certain basic level, a lot of the problems we’re trying to solve in the external world are actually internal problems. And even if we manage to solve the current manifestation in the external world, the new problem will just pop up tomorrow in the external world.
Kapil: Everyone’s looking for truth, whether they profess to look for truth or not. The evidence for that is that everyone is looking for a way out of their problems. If they weren’t, then there wouldn’t be 14,000 prescriptions on every single corner from the spirituality to self help. The very fact that those things exist and the very fact that they are populated by millions means that there’s an enormous appetite for relief from problems.
This relates back to prescriptions. No human being actually wants to be told what to do. There’s something within a human being which rejects the idea of being told what to do. Quite frankly, even when you do give prescriptions, most don’t follow it. And they will beg you for years to give the prescription and when you give it, they won’t do it. People look at that and say, “See? You’ve been given the prescription and you didn’t follow it. It’s your fault.” No it’s not. The fault is believing that that’s what they really wanted.
It’s not.
No one wants prescriptions. Freedom really is what everyone is looking for. It is just that they’ve been sold many lines. They’ve been sold many lies that it’s about meditating and it’s about practicing mindfulness and it’s about doing all of these things. None of those things are wrong. It’s all about the question. If your question is: “I’d like to feel better for 20 minutes a day. It gives me a sense of peace. What can I do?” There’s nothing wrong with that. If the question is: “I really want to have peace in my life. I don’t want to have problems every single day. My entire life spent putting out fires. I don’t want that anymore.” That’s a different question and those prescriptions are invalid for that.
Naval: So what is the most important question?
Kapil: I would begin with the one that’s most acute for a given individual. Now, broadly speaking, everyone’s problem is problems. Anxiety, fear, concern, worry, conflict, confusion…
Naval: This persistent, non-specific anxiety is probably the single most common human condition that most people are trying to get away from. The naive version is, “I have anxiety because I don’t have enough money, so I need to go make more money.” Then the slightly more sophisticated version is, “Boy, I wish I could just get over the anxiety of feeling like I don’t have enough because, practically speaking, I have enough but for some reason I’m still anxious, so I’d love to get rid of that anxiety.” What’s the next level after that?
Kapil: It’s a more fundamental level. The next level is: zero. The idea that someone should get rid of anxiety is the problem. The problem is not, “How do I get rid of anxiety?” The way is actually to learn where anxiety comes from. The people who have conquered anxiety are the ones who had a clear understanding of what it is and where it came from.
The solution to a problem is never the solution. It’s always the problem. The solution to any problem lies squarely deep within the problem. There are not two things. There’s only one. Everyone is taught to look for solutions and they believe that the solution is independent of the problem. But ingeniously, nature has hidden the problem inside the solution and maybe it did it because it wanted human beings to look inside the problem. The definition of the problem is the key.
Naval: Can you go through a specific example?
Kapil: Absolutely. So in the case of anxiety, a person asks, “How do I get rid of anxiety?” The problem isn’t that they have anxiety. The problem is that their anxiety will never end as long as they look for a solution to it. “Well, if I don’t find a solution, then I’m always going to have anxiety.” That’s correct.
The solution is to go backwards. It’s to look at what actually is the anxiety. Put a name on it. When does it arise? What part of the body does it arise in? In what situations does it arise? Know the face of anxiety, not run from it like a boogie man.
Naval: Is this something that’s solved on an individual basis?
Kapil: There’s no solving. It is simply the understanding: The solution to any problem lies in diving deep into the problem. The answer lies in the anxiety. Every single thing that I say is fraught with peril because the prescription givers have highjacked the English language. They’ve already attached an image to every single word that I use. When I say that you have to look into the anxiety, where that will go is (thanks to the spiritual jargon), “Oh, I must face my anxiety.” No. No you don’t. “Oh that means that I must watch my thoughts.” No. No you don’t.
Why?
Because if you do that you’ll be doing so prescriptively. You’ll simply become an automaton who sits there and watches his thoughts. And then you will say, “I’ve watched my thoughts. Nothing changed. I went into the anxiety. I faced it and nothing changed.” The prescription is so subtle that any attempt to follow it removes you from the solution. Even as you’re listening to my words, it isn’t about finding out what I’m telling you to do. It’s about understanding and through understanding, you can take your destiny in your own hands.
And even when I say that, I don’t mean to motivate you by telling you that you “can take your destiny into your own hands.” Forgive me. A thousand apologies. I have no interest in motivating you because if I motivate you, then you will get “Ra Ra!” and say, “Yes! I too will do that.” And you will fail. It is about very quiet, very serious examination of what actually is being said. Never just listen to the words.
People send me all these messages saying, “What does it mean? No prescriptions? That’s a prescription. Don’t follow prescriptions?” It’s not about prescriptions. Go into the source of why it was being said for yourself. It is never about the words, it’s about where they come from.
Naval: That’s what makes these conversations so difficult. Even inspiring other people is hard because if they’re inspired, inspiration doesn’t last. It fades. It’s like reading inspirational quotes or motivational posters. You spike up and then you crash back down. There are times where I’ve actually inspired people to go and start a business. And I regret it because if they’re not inspired naturally, they’re not going to be able to sustain it for a long period of time without me being around.
Kapil: Well it isn’t about them. I would say that the only real problem would not be whether their inspiration is sustained. The real problem would be if there’s a desire to inspire them. That’s the non-starter.
Naval: A desire on my part to inspire them?
Kapil: That’s right. There is no other. That’s another one. I can’t say two words without it being a whole other thing.
Naval: Let’s get into it. There is no other. I’ve said life is a single-player game. You’re just competing against yourself. You’re mostly arguing, having conflict with admiring, looking at yourself. You’re born alone. You die alone. How you interpret things is purely through you. How you view the world is purely through you. That’s what I mean by it. Perhaps you mean something deeper than that.
Kapil: “There is no other” means that there’s no problem outside of yourself and that all conflict is self-conflict. These things in which pain arises from a circumstance aren’t really caused by the circumstance. The circumstance does not cause pain, it reveals it. If someone’s intention is that “I wanted to inspire him,” that’s a problem. If the intention is that “I didn’t care to inspire him or not,” then that’s not a problem.
The problem arises in the individual because if he tried to inspire, then that came from a place of ego. Ego isn’t bad, but if a person tries to inspire someone, they’re really trying to attain significance in their own mind. That isn’t bad, either. The problem is it creates problems. That’s the “badness.” If you did not care whether you inspired or not, then you’d be free.
And freedom isn’t good either! It’s just that freedom does not create problems.
Naval: So a simple example: If I’m on Twitter and I send out a tweet and I do it to get compliments. I get a whole bunch of compliments. I like those. I go and click “like” on all the compliments. Then I get a few insults and the insults sting and I feel bad. It only takes one insult to cancel out dozens of compliments, moodwise–just the way the human mind is built.
After you’ve done this for a long enough time, you realize that it’s because I’m liking the compliments that the insults hit me. They’re hitting some deep fear that they might be true. If someone called me a hippopotamus, I don’t care. It’s not real. But if someone says, “Oh, you’re trying to play a fake guru,” that might hurt because sometimes I am trying to do that. And so if it reveals something about me, some conflict and some pain that already existed, then it hurts. Just by understanding how compliments puff me up, I can realize that insults bring me back down and the freedom comes from realizing that it’s not good or bad. I can continue to make that trade, but at least now I’m aware of why I feel bad when I see an insult.
Kapil: All of that would circle back to: “Do you really want to know? Are you the type of individual who really wants to know and understand where these things come from because you have a longing for getting over that for good?”
Naval: One doesn’t necessarily have to go through the understanding. It’s helpful to have these kinds of illusions because that’s how we function in society. You could argue society conditioned us in that way so we could be functional in normal society. But as you understand more of these things, one of the interesting things I’ve noticed is: as you peel the onion, it has to be done genuinely. Otherwise, it’s not real. Otherwise, it’s just another pleasure chase.
Kapil: Even “genuine” isn’t a rule. There’s no need to be genuine. That isn’t “good.” Like humility, it isn’t good to be humble. Nothing is “good.”
Naval: Yeah, if I’m engaging in self-improvement and I’m feeling good about it, then my mind will eventually be occupied with this new image of being this guy who’s good at self-improvement and I’ll just create another trap for myself.
Kapil: It’s all a shell game. That’s exactly right.
Naval: One thing I’ve noticed is that one of the ways in which I know that I am finding truths out is that problem is solved for good.
Kapil: That’s exactly right.
Naval: I don’t have to revisit that same problem again because that problem is solved for good. Both my internal state and my external state “improve.” They change. “Improve” is a big word, so it’s more “they change.” Internally, I’m quieter. Externally, my life is less complicated.
Kapil: You have brought up a seminal point, which is: it is not about the journey. It absolutely is about the destination. You want to get to the point where you don’t have it anymore. You aren’t looking for treatments, you’re looking for a cure. There is a destination. It isn’t about spending the next 90 years getting assaulted and then feeling better, getting assaulted then putting tiger balm on it. It is about wanting to get over it.
Destination and journeys–that’s another lie. It’s not about journeys. It’s about destinations. Destinations require journeys, but everything that you do in your life is defined by the destination. The moment that you leave your house every single day, you have a destination. And the destination creates the avenue.
Naval: This is one of the social lies where everyone says about the journey, the journey is the reward. Yeah, the journey is the thing that you’re actually one. That’s where you are right now. But if you don’t get to a destination, you sort of wasted your time.
Kapil: Well, if there was no destination, no one would begin any journey. If there was no compulsion to arrive anywhere, then no one would begin any kind of journey at all. It is just that most people’s destination is the prescription. Wearing the orange color robe, sitting in front of the incense, and having the self image that “I’m a yogi” and “I am meditating” and “I am doing all the spiritual things.”
That becomes a destination in itself: that I have achieved that self image where I view myself that way.
Naval: So what is a worthy destination?
Kapil: Oh, there is no “worthy.” It is not about enforcing rules. There are no rules. Rules should be avoided at all costs if one is sincere because wherever there’s a rule, there’s insincerity. Like stoicism, it’s a rule. It can’t go anywhere. It’s more self image creation.
Everything begins with the truth. What is the truth? The truth is that in a human being’s life, he has problems. That’s the truth. In a human being’s life, he has specific problems. Some problems that are more acute for him than for his neighbor. His most acute problems are his living reality. They’re not abstract. They’re not spiritual. They are in his face and he lives in that every single day. That is where it can begin.
Naval: So one begins very concretely with one’s own problems. There are real problems that everybody faces and if you have a genuine desire to solve these problems once and for all, the way through them is not to follow some routine or build up some image of the person who solves the problems. It’s to examine them for the truth no matter how unpopular or how untransmissible or unexplainable it might be. If you look for the truth and you find it, you’ll know you’ve found it when you’ve solved the problem.
Kapil: If you go back to zero for a second, zero is the understanding that problems can be solved forever. Society believes in journeys. Society believes in endless treatments forever. Practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, practice forever. When the whole game has been set up to practice forever, then there is no conclusion. There is no arrival of anything.
Naval: There’s a way for people to see that. If you look at how we think about spirituality and solving problems internally, it is considered to be, “Oh I’m just going to work on it forever. I’m going to see a therapist forever. I’m going to meditate forever. I’m going to read forever. I’m going to talk to a counselor or to a coach forever. I’m going to work on it. I’m on the path. I’m on the journey.” But if you go into a very practical thing, like making money, nobody says, “I’m going to work forever.” No, they’re like, “I want to make a pile of money.” Right? If I’m starting a company: “I want the company to be successful, I want the company to go public, or to get acquired, or generate so much cash flow that while I’m still alive, I can spend that cash.” In the money-making context, we’re extremely practical. We want to make that money while we’re still young enough and alive enough to spend it. But in the internal context, we get all spiritual and start talking about, “Maybe the next life, maybe in heaven or in hell, or my reincarnated life, or I’m just going to keep doing my self work, my self improvement until the day I die” and it’s considered acceptable to never arrive at a destination.
Kapil: There’s a very simple truth as to how to arrive at getting over your problems without having to lift a finger.
Naval: You’ve got my ears.
Kapil: It’s all about exposure. If a person sat on his couch for the next 50 years, his internal environment–from his mind to his brain, everything within him is a direct resonance–it’s like a tuning fork. It responds to the inputs. Same as a microphone. If that human is exposed to truth on a regular basis, his ears don’t even have to hear it consciously. Something inside of him will internalize that truth and that will become his new norm. A human being becomes his environment and that is why it’s absolutely critical to savagely and surgically arrange one’s environment in a way that is in accordance with where he wants to go.
No one does that.
If a person is exposed to truth on a regular basis–and not prescription. It’s gotta be straight truth. Then that becomes his norm. That becomes the way that he thinks. His brain begins to rewire itself. There isn’t a single amount of work that needs to be done. There isn’t a single amount of psychotherapy that needs to be done. No medications. The human body treats itself. It all depends upon the input. It is all about one thing and one thing only: exposure.
You become that which you are most consistently exposed to.
Naval: In a modern context, the people who are very interested in truth and in conquering the mind and internal freedom tend to coalesce on reading the same books, thinking about the same things, listen to the same podcasts, talk to the same people. Even though prescriptions don’t work and no book is going to make you conquer the mind and listening to any podcast is not going to give you internal freedom, eventually at some point, it does soak in. You’re attracted to what you want to be. And as you immerse yourself in it, you have no choice but to become that over time.
It’s like in wealth creation, if you want to start a company, you go to Silicon Valley or you go to a pool of entrepreneurs and you spend enough time around them. You hang around the tech business long enough and you’ll be in the tech business. You hang around a bunch of techies, you’ll be talking tech all day. So, we’re naturally drawn to certain things and immerse ourselves in them. It creates inevitability to the future.
Kapil: And to take it to the next level, it’s about titrating that environment because any environment from Silicon Valley to anywhere else, while it has the benefits, it will also have the detriments. It’s about titrating out all that is not wanted and titrating all that is. It can very much be fine-tuned, like a buffet.
Naval: I want to talk to you about a specific issue I’ve noticed with myself. I’ve known this for a while, but it’s just really bad. I don’t fully understand why it persists even though I see it. Every time I am figuring something out for myself and I’m going down a good path of figuring it out–as an example, I was reading something recently. It was resonating with me and every time I’d read a sentence, then I would get into thought about what that meant, how that applied, my own interpretation. It was going well. Naturally, I found myself in my mind’s eye lecturing it to other people. Teaching it to other people. This invariably happens with me. As soon as I start figuring something out or understanding it, I start turning it into a tweet or a podcast or some lecture to tell other people. I see this over and over again in my mind. Why is it that I keep converting everything into instruction for somebody else? Why does it not feel real unless I’m teaching someone else?
Kapil: Why does that matter?
Naval: So there’s two things that are wrong with that. One is of course the social thing, which is you should be humble and figure things out yourself and why are you telling everybody what to do? That’s the societal one. I care less about that. The one I care more about is: You can’t give society the raw truth on almost anything. The moment you have to turn it into something in your mind that is being taught to others, you’re actually weakening it. You’re introducing falsehoods and caveats. You’re not facing the raw truth, necessarily.
Kapil: But that doesn’t matter because the greatest desire always wins. If the desire to share it and to turn it into a teaching is there, it’s there. If you genuinely want to get over that, then the quickest way there is–guess what–to allow yourself to teach it because any suppression is regression.
Naval: It’s just more self conflict. It’s another “should” and it’s slowing things down. So just go right through it?
Kapil: Don’t even go through it. Just understand that if you do, then you do. The very fact that you caught yourself doing it is enough. There’s no need to do anymore. When fire burns, as long as it’s allowed to burn, it’ll eventually burn out.
Naval: I do not want to engage in self conflict. I’m now very aware that when two parts of my mind start fighting each other, there is this tendency that we all have to favor one versus the other. “Oh this is the good part and this is the bad part. This is the angel and this is the devil.”
Kapil: The “shoulds” and the “shouldn’ts” are pure poison. Never try to reel your mind in. Give it free reign. Your greatest weapon is the understanding and the awareness of where it’s going, not watching your thoughts like a mechanical automaton. It is just the understanding that you know where the mind is going and that you do see yourself doing this. That sight itself has already poked a hole in that behavior.
Naval: Let’s talk about using the mind to understand the mind because this is where spirituality gets very confusing. Some people believe that you’re failing if your mind is even running. They’re trying to suppress the mind. Others believe that there’s a right way the mind should work and a wrong work the mind should work. The right mind should suppress the wrong mind. That’s a classic–call it the Christian or the Jewish or the Muslim view. “These are good thoughts and these are bad thoughts.” Then there’s the self inquiry nature, which is a little bit of what you’re saying, which is the mind can be used to understand the mind but not necessarily interfere with it.
Kapil: That all depends upon: Where do you want to go? Without that, there is no conversation. And the reason why all these philosophies exist is because that question hasn’t been asked.
Naval: Right, they’re trying to accomplish different things.
Kapil: Everyone dives into the prescription. Everyone’s impetus for entering the game is the “should” and the “good” and the “bad” and the “should not.” That’s the impetus. The impetus has to be: Where do you want to go? Because the answer to that question will create the path.
Naval: So let’s say I choose “freedom.”
Kapil: Okay, if someone truly wants freedom, then the truth behind that is freedom from the mind. The idea of trying to understand the mind with the mind, that’s intellectual. It’s irrelevant. That’s just a mind-created phenomenon. Understanding is in a certain place and we’re not going to label it with any anatomy. We’re not going to call it “mind.” There is a capacity to understand. And whether that’s one part mind or two parts mind or zero parts mind, it’s irrelevant. That’ll just take you on another path. Forget it.
The understanding will come from a certain place. It’s almost like sincerity and genuineness and seriousness create this one organ.
So, freedom comes from the understanding of where things come from, not the conscious attempt to end them.
Naval: At least for me, the problem is, “Oh I’m more free than I used to be, so I’m making progress.”
Kapil: Looking for progress is essentially looking for pleasure. It is the pleasure of self image, which says, “I’m in a better place now than I was before and that’s why I get excited when I get some progress.” It is not about prescriptionizing and turning it into a rule that pleasure is bad. That isn’t truth. Truth is the understanding that the pursuit of all things in a human being’s life are motivated by pleasure.
Naval: Nothing wrong with that.
Kapil: Nothing wrong with it at all.
Naval: It’s a motivator, but is it effective if you’re trying to get to freedom?
Kapil: No, it’s a different path. And it isn’t a wrong one. Pleasure, you will always be on the lookout for when the ship will come in. As long as one is always on the lookout for when the ship will come in, his attention will necessarily be on the horizon.
Naval: So, it’s hard for me to have freedom when I’m recording little gains and I’m creating this image around this person who is recording gains and getting better that traps me–that image. I’m always thinking about that. I’m always experiencing that pleasure. Then there are setbacks. So if I suddenly get angry or unhappy or I don’t have my freedom for a moment or I think I don’t have my freedom, that pleasure gets withdrawn and I’m truly un-free. I’m trapped again.
Kapil: Yes, that is the game of the mind. You’re back in the mind. That’s why freedom really is beyond the mind. It is freedom from the mind. What you have just described is a game of the mind. Now, whatever game that is, whether it’s a spiritual game or a materialistic game doesn’t matter. As long as the mind has you captured playing a certain game, “it’s fine.” It “rests in harmony” knowing that it’s got you.
Naval: A friend of mine said that no technique of the mind will free you from the mind. But at the same time, we’re talking about approaching truth and understanding. Isn’t that just the mind again that’s doing the understanding? Or it’s something beyond the mind that is understanding?
Kapil: Where there is sincerity and where there is seriousness, that is its own instrument of examination.
Kapil Gupta:征服心灵
这次对 Kapil Gupta 的采访仅面向我的邮件列表。
精华摘录
真诚
Naval:问股票贴士的人并不是真的认真对待投资。问书单推荐的人并不是真的认真对待阅读。问”我应该做什么生意?“的人并不是真的认真对待创业。
操作指南
Kapil:拿一个在各自领域登顶、成为世界级的人来说。如果他倒回去、重新追溯自己的步伐、以完全相同的方式再做一遍,但这一次他是模仿自己做的,他会失败。
Naval:我没法看 Roger Federer 打网球然后以同样的方式挥拍。他任何关于如何挥拍的描述也没法让我正确地挥拍。然后我们转到智力活动。我们问 Warren Buffett 为什么投资了一家公司,他可以试图构建一个思维框架,来说明他是如何思考、如何投资一家公司的。但 Buffett 在决定投资什么、如何生活、如何思考方面的细节,和 Federer 的身体在网球场上奔跑、击球一样多。在某种层面上,这些细节是不可传递的。不可复制的。
Kapil:你做得最好的事情,正是那些你不知道自己是如何做到的事情。
真理
Naval:社会是一套我们共同相信的集体谎言,以便我们能相处。它让我们建立一个最低限度的共识,这样我们就不会互相残杀,可以合作。我们必须维持这些共同的虚构物,社会才能运转。但这有代价,而这个代价由个人承担。
Naval:我知道自己在接近真理的方式之一,就是问题被永久解决了。
自由
Kapil:任何导致对更多自由渴望的自由,不是自由。
Kapil:自由来自对事物根源的理解,而非刻意去终结它们。
自我提升
Kapil:一个人会成为他的环境。关键是要以残暴而精准的方式,根据自己的方向来安排自己的环境。
Kapil:寻求进步本质上是在寻求快感。那是自我形象的快感,它在说:“我现在比以前更好了。”
完整文稿
提交者:Anthony Garone
开场白
Naval:跟你对话有意思的地方,Kapil,在于你不是为所有人而说的。事实上恰恰相反。你思考的东西和你说话的方式,真的只适用于一小部分人。这次讨论在多个方面都很独特,其中之一就是它对大多数人来说根本不会有意义。这不意味着你应该试图让它对你有意义。这不是什么值得追求的东西。不是什么研究生级别的课程。它只是对大多数人来说没有吸引力。但再说一次,它不是高阶的,它只是不同。
这次对话不同的另一个方面是,我很紧张,通常我对播客或对话不会那么紧张。事实上,我对这些非常自信。这次我有点紧张,因为我想问你的一切、想和你讨论的一切,都是非常私人的。如果我不是真心对答案感兴趣,那我就不是在问一个恰当的问题,我只是在向观众炫耀。Kapil,我和你合作已经很多年了。我忘了多久了,实际上。已经挺久了,而我并不以此为傲。[笑声] 这其实是一种失败,对吧?因为无论我需要搞清楚什么,我早该搞清楚了。为什么我们还要一直在同样的老地方打转?但你行走的领域,或者你感兴趣的东西,以及你对此的见解如此独特,以至于光是理解你说话和思考的词汇和语法,理解你行为的方式和看待世界的方式,就需要时间。
处方
我们可以从几个关键词开始。我从最难的一个开始。它之所以难,是因为它最独特。这是一个你反复使用的词,我认为其他人并没有真正理解你在说什么。甚至我至今也只是勉强理解你在说什么。我对它有一些概念,但这是一个如此重要的思维转变,我认为在我们进入其他话题之前,真正重要的事情是理解并仔细审视你的意思。这个词就是:处方(prescriptions)。
我们来谈谈处方。
Kapil:处方就是”操作指南”。它们是窍门、技巧和方法,各种用来到达某处的方法论。当你从机械行为的角度谈论某件事时——打开电脑或骑自行车——处方是有用的。问题在于,每当你以任何形式涉足艺术的领域,无论是在商业、体育,甚至在生活中寻找平静或自由或开悟——所有这些所谓的灵性追求——这些东西都无法被处方化。如果你试图将它们处方化,发生的事情是:处方成了新的神。你开始试图达到处方的要求。
一开始,你有一个要去的地方。“我想去X。“然后你引入了一个中介:处方。“这是你到达X的方式。“接下来会发生的是,你的大脑将开始专注于这个中介,并会进入一笔交易,一笔它从未签署的交易。这笔交易就是,你的余生都将试图满足这个中介。
在所有领域中,都有做出伟大成就的人。佛陀获得了开悟。你有 Michael Jordan 和 Tiger Woods 在高尔夫中做出惊人的事情。Elon Musk 和各种在商业中做出伟大成就的个人。甚至你自己。如果你把这些人做的事情写成一本书,说”这些人做了X。“如果你照着做,你不会成为他们。你不会!
Naval:我发现商业传记对于建立伟大的企业毫无用处。它们可以用来获得启发。我可以读 Steve Jobs 的传记并受到启发,但我无法成为 Steve Jobs。如果我想在某件事上变得卓越,那我就必须找到自己的路。对于机械性的事情,操作指南是管用的,但当你试图在一个领域的顶端运作,或者当你试图做创造性的事情时,操作指南在最极端的基础层面之外就不起作用了。当你刚开始做一件事的时候,它其实是一项机械性的工作。你只是在学怎么开车,但当你试图弄清楚如何在赛道上比任何人都快地驾驶时,所有的教练、技巧和处方都必须退到一边,你就处于这门艺术的边缘。
Kapil:没错。现在的问题在于条件反射。一个人的耳边一辈子只有一个喇叭在响,那么那就是他的常态,那就是他唯一知道的语言。“操作指南”那个范式如此深植于文化之中。如此深植于人类大脑的皮层之中,以至于舍弃它的想法,甚至质疑其存在的想法,都是完全离谱的。它是如此超乎寻常、如此对立,以至于需要数年时间,才能到达这样一个阶段:你开始隐约意识到,处方恰恰是你所追求之物的障碍。
极致表现与处方的局限
Naval:人们在 Twitter 上觉得你是个”灵修之人”。但据我理解,你完全不是那种人。“灵修”是一个毫无意义的词。关键在于效用。它是一种有用的东西。它能不能把你带到你想去的地方?你一直在谈论极致表现,所以你的品牌才叫 Siddha Performance。本质上就是追求表现,追求那个能让你在所有事情上达到最高表现的真相——无论是商业、体育还是内心的平静。这种对效用、现实、真相、表现的驱动力——不知怎么就被人归入了灵修的范畴。人们用灵修的方式来解读它们,但灵修这个词已经被太多无意义的东西塞满了,真正的东西反而被淹没了。一旦意识到你的模型是为追求极致表现而设计的,它就完全说得通了。如果你想在任何事情上成为世界最强,你就不能遵循处方。如果你只是想”还行”就行,那当然可以遵循处方。如果你想学会一个月减一磅、让身材还过得去,那你可以照着计算卡路里的表格来。但如果你想成为一个体脂极低的健美选手或者奥运运动员,靠”操作指南”是到不了那里的。你必须自己创造和锻造出一条独属于你自己的路。这样说准确吗?
Kapil:嗯,我想补充的是,一个人并不一定非得想成为世界上最伟大的人。看看人们的生活,充满了艰辛的挣扎。那个打三份工的人并不想打三份工。他可能不想成为 Tiger Woods,但他想摆脱被迫打三份工的处境。而让他困在三份工里的,恰恰是处方。
处方的无效性不仅仅”损害”那些想成为世界级的人。它严重损害的,是那些只是不想挣扎求生的人。
努力与效能
Naval:在商业世界中,我的理解是,努力工作与效能之间几乎没有什么关系。杂货店老板或在餐厅工作的人可能一周工作 60 到 80 小时,Elon Musk 的工作时间可能也差不多,但 Elon 赚的钱多得多,因为他拥有特定的知识——那种无法被教授,但如果你欲望足够强烈,可以在实践中自行习得的知识。因为 Elon 做了正确的事情,他在赚钱能力上远远更高效,而那些正确的事情(至少在商业中)是无法被教授的,因为它是不断移动的靶子。它只能给出一些非常模糊的原则,启发人们朝正确的方向走,但我没法教你如何赚钱或炒股。就像人们问你股票建议一样。真正擅长股票交易的人不会在公开论坛上给出可操作的投资建议,因为所有的细节太难传达了。我总能判断出那些问股票建议的人并不是真的认真对待投资。问书单推荐的人并不是真的认真对待阅读。问”我该做什么生意?“的人并不是真的认真对待创业。问”我该走什么职业路径?“的人并不是真的认真对待自己的职业生涯。当一个人在任何事情上索要”操作指南”时,他其实并没有那么认真。如果他真的认真,他会自己去想办法。但这就留下了一个悖论式的问题:“那我该怎么去弄清楚呢?“
伟大的不可复制性
Kapil:拿那个在任何领域做到了世界级、“成功了”的人来说。如果他回去,回溯自己的脚步,用完全相同的方式把所有事再做一遍,但这一次他是模仿自己来做,他会失败。连他自己都做不到。需要理解的是,伟大从何而来,是一件非常模糊的事情。它是非线性的。它是不可预测的。也许自然和宇宙就是这样安排的——你必须跳进去。一旦你跳进那锅汤里,四面八方都在轰击你,你活在困惑之中,分不清上下,如果那份执念还在,那么会发生的是,通过一个混乱的过程,你找到了出路。你看到了隧道尽头的光。你在丛林中劈出了一条路。那不是按照某个”怎么做”完成的。你整个过程都在胡乱扑腾。扑腾本身就没有”怎么做”。当你从隧道里出来,有人问你是怎么做到的,你不知道。几乎可笑的是,当你问一位伟大的运动员,“你能给我展示一下你是怎么做到的吗?“他们不会坦白说”我也不知道”。他们会给你一个貌似答案的东西,实际上不是答案。而他们所做的,因为此刻就像有把枪指着他们的头、后背抵着墙,他们会创造出一些”精华片段”。当观看的人去追随那些精华片段时,他会错过。他之所以错过,是因为一切都在那些微小的细节里。
Naval:我没法看 Roger Federer 打网球就学会用同样的方式挥拍,他对如何挥拍的任何描述也无法让我以正确的方式挥拍。然后我们来看智力领域。我们去问 Warren Buffet 为什么投资一家公司,他可以试图构建一套心智模型来解释他如何思考、如何投资那家公司,但 Warren Buffet 在决定投资什么、如何生活、如何思考时的细节,和 Roger Federer 的身体在网球场上跑动击球时的细节一样多。这些细节是不可传达的。不可复制的。你可以受到启发去亲自尝试,但如果没有那份真诚、那份执念,你到不了那里。
Kapil:不仅细节不可传达,细节甚至是不可知的。
Naval:啊,也就是说 Warren 和 Roger 自己都不知道。
Kapil:绝对不知道。没有任何伟大的艺术家知道。你做得最伟大的事情,恰恰是你不知道自己是如何做到的那些事情。
Naval:我想说,当你做那些事情的时候,你甚至不在那里。你并没有有意识地思考它。我发现,当我说话的时候,我不去想我要说什么的时候说得最好,直到话从我嘴里说出来,我才会听到自己要说什么。
Kapil:你对自己将要说的话,跟观众一样感到惊讶。那就是纯粹的。纯粹是什么意思?纯粹不是道德,纯粹也不是善。没有好与坏。那是另一个完整的话题。
在公开场合说出真相
Naval:那其实正是我接下来想谈的话题。那又是一套所有人都持有的假设——要理解这一点,你必须把它们抛在路边。我们在这里做的事情,是努力聚焦于什么是真的,这意味着我们会尽可能诚实地说,这意味着我们会暴露脆弱,这意味着我们会说出社会不可接受的话,说出可能令人惊讶的话。在公开论坛中说出真相是非常困难的。为什么?
Kapil:因为内心有一个声音在说,一个人希望听众能听懂。
Naval:这确实存在。还有一部分原因,社会是一套我们共同相信的集体谎言,这样我们才能和平共处。它让我们能够建立最低限度的共识,这样我们不会互相残杀,可以合作。但为了维持社会的运转,我们需要维护这些共同的虚构叙事,这本身没问题。但这有代价,而这个代价是由个体来承受的。
Kapil:这一切归根结底是 DNA。不是基因意义上的 DNA。而是一个人禀性中的 DNA,他的内在连线方式。对某些人的 DNA 来说,社会的看法近乎一种侮辱。如果我们在这里不讨论真相,那对话还有什么意义?任何想让听众听懂的强迫感——这并不是说我会刻意去晦涩和抽象,但重点不是让任何人听懂。重点是说出真相。
自由的本质
Naval: 既然我们已经确立了处方不起作用,我们在这里是为了发现真相,我们超越了善与恶、对与错,只是试图找到答案,那我们就选第一个要深入探讨的话题。自由。“自由”对你来说意味着什么?
Kapil: 自由是从头脑中的自由。任何一个人之所以不自由,唯一的原因就是他的头脑。是头脑制造了他的折磨。是头脑制造了他的焦虑。是头脑制造了他的冲突。是头脑制造了他的规则。他所被束缚的一切,他所被囚禁的一切,都是头脑。不是别的什么。
Naval: 我年轻的时候想要自由,但我想要的自由是不想被困在房子里。我想住在任何我想住的地方。我想能赚到钱。我想有个女朋友。我想去一个可以随时随地做我想做的事情的地方。那就是我想要的。在我的认知中,自由就是摆脱物理上的束缚、物质上的束缚。那些东西我都得到了。我走遍了全世界。我尝遍了各种美食。我赚到了钱。我得到了生活中所有我想要的东西。
然而,我的生活质量并没有太大改变。我每一刻的体验质量并没有太大改变。那是因为我自己并没有太大改变。我的内在体验仍然大致相同。每当我得到一样东西,我就想要下一样,又想要下一样,又想要下一样。所有同样的痛苦、折磨和不幸仍然存在。也许有些有所好转。显然,富有比贫穷好。健康比生病好。但超过某个临界点之后,我内心的平静基准线并没有太大变化。
然后我开始转向你所谈论的方向。意识到很多陷阱其实在我头脑中。但你已经一步到位了。你说:“不,从一开始,这一切都来自头脑。”
Kapil: 是的,任何导致你渴望更多自由的自由,都不是自由。如果有一处出血,你不去清理支流血管。你要找到出血的源头。即使一个人花了三十年才找到出血的源头,才学到自由真正的含义,从当下这一秒开始那段旅程也远比零敲碎打地去做要有效得多,因为零敲碎打的方式要花九百年。
说自由来自头脑,这并不是抽象的。它是揭示性的。人们相信焦虑、恐惧和痛苦源于处境。相信它们来自他人。只要这种信念存在于一个人内心,他就会花一辈子去试图改变处境,那将是对生命巨大的浪费,而你只有一次生命。所以,坦率地说,根本没有时间去零敲碎打。不理解远比零敲碎打要好,因为那样你走上了支流,而支流又通向其他支流。很快,你就偏离了航道。
问题在外部还是内部
Naval: 我们在这里真正讨论的是,我们挣扎的所有问题,我们倾向于外化。我们倾向于在外部世界中解决它们。有一些问题确实可以在外部世界中得到实际解决:我有食物吗?我有住所吗?这类事情。但超过某个基本水平之后,我们在外部世界中试图解决的许多问题,其实是内部问题。而即使我们成功地解决了当前在外部世界中的表现,明天新的问题又会在外部世界中冒出来。
Kapil: 每个人都在寻找真相,不管他们是否声称自己在寻找真相。证据就是每个人都在寻找摆脱自己问题的方法。如果不是这样,那么每个街角就不会有从灵性到自助的 14,000 种处方。这些东西之所以存在,以及被数百万人趋之若鹜的事实本身,就说明人们对从问题中解脱有着巨大的渴求。
这就回到了处方的问题。没有一个人真正想要被告知该怎么做。人的内在有某种东西排斥被告知该怎么做这种想法。坦率地说,即使你真的给了处方,大多数人也不会照做。他们会求你多年给他们一个处方,而当你给了,他们又不去执行。人们看到这些会说:“你看?你拿到了处方却没有照做。是你的错。“不,不是的。错在相信那就是他们真正想要的。
不是的。
没有人想要处方。自由才是每个人真正在寻找的东西。只是他们被兜售了许多说辞。他们被兜售了许多谎言,说自由关乎冥想,关乎练习正念,关乎做所有这些事情。这些事情本身并没有错。关键在于你的问题是什么。如果你的问题是:“我想每天有 20 分钟感觉好一点。它给我一种平静感。我能做什么?“这没什么问题。如果问题是:“我真正想要在生活中拥有平静。我不想每天都面对问题。我不想把一生都花在救火上。我不想要这样的生活了。“那就是一个不同的问题,那些处方对它就无效了。
Naval: 那么最重要的问题是什么?
Kapil: 我会从一个具体个体最迫切的问题开始。总的来说,每个人的问题就是问题本身。焦虑、恐惧、忧虑、担心、冲突、困惑……
Naval: 这种持续的、非特异性的焦虑,大概是大多数人试图摆脱的最普遍的人类处境。最朴素的说法是:“我焦虑是因为我没有足够的钱,所以我需要去赚更多的钱。“然后稍微成熟一点的版本是:“唉,我真希望能摆脱那种’觉得不够’的焦虑,因为实际上我已经够了,但不知为何我仍然焦虑,所以我很想摆脱那种焦虑。“那再往下一层是什么?
焦虑的本质
Kapil: 是一个更根本的层面。下一层是:零。认为一个人应该摆脱焦虑,这本身就是问题。问题不是”我如何摆脱焦虑?“道路实际上是去了解焦虑从何而来。那些克服了焦虑的人,是那些清楚地理解了焦虑是什么、从何而来的人。
问题的解从来不是解。它永远是问题本身。任何问题的解法都深深地嵌在问题之中。并没有两个东西。只有一个。每个人都被教导去寻找解法,他们相信解法独立于问题而存在。但巧妙的是,自然把问题藏在了解法里面,也许它这样做是希望人类去审视问题本身。问题的定义就是钥匙。
Naval: 你能举一个具体的例子吗?
Kapil: 当然。以焦虑为例,一个人问:“我如何摆脱焦虑?“问题不在于他有焦虑。问题在于,只要他寻找焦虑的解法,他的焦虑就永远不会终止。“那如果我不去找解法,我就一直会有焦虑。“没错。
解法是往回走。是去审视焦虑实际上是什么。给它一个名字。它在什么时候出现?它出现在身体的哪个部位?在什么情境下出现?认识焦虑的面貌,而不是像对待妖怪一样逃避它。
Naval: 这是一个在个体层面逐个解决的问题吗?
Kapil: 没有什么解决不解决的。仅仅是这个理解:任何问题的答案都在于深入问题本身。答案就藏在焦虑之中。我说的每一句话都充满危险,因为那些开处方的人已经劫持了英语语言。他们已经给我使用的每一个词都附加了一幅画面。当我说你必须去审视焦虑时,结果会变成(多亏了那些灵修术语),“哦,我必须面对我的焦虑。“不,不,你不必。“哦,那就是说我必须观察我的念头。“不,不,你不必。
为什么?
因为如果你那样做,你就是在以处方化的方式行事。你只会变成一个坐在那里观察自己念头的自动机器。然后你会说:“我观察了我的念头。什么都没变。我进入了焦虑。我面对了它,什么都没变。“处方是如此微妙,以至于任何试图遵循它的努力都会让你远离答案。即使在你听我说话的时候,重点也不在于弄清楚我在告诉你做什么。而在于理解,通过理解,你可以把命运掌握在自己手中。
即使我这么说,我也不是要通过告诉你”可以把命运掌握在自己手中”来激励你。请原谅我。千般歉意。我对激励你没有兴趣,因为如果我激励了你,你就会像打了鸡血一样,说:“对!我也要那样做!“然后你会失败。这是一场非常安静的、非常严肃的对实际所说之物的审视。永远不要只听那些词语。
人们给我发各种各样的消息说:“这是什么意思?不要处方?那本身就是一个处方。不要遵循处方?“这不是关于处方不处方的。去探究那些话为什么被说出来的根源,为你自己去探究。永远不是关于词语,而是关于它们从何而来。
激励的局限
Naval: 这正是这些对话如此困难的原因。连激励别人都很难,因为如果他们被激励了,激励也不会持久。它会消退。就像读励志名言或励志海报。你飙升上去,然后又跌落下来。有好几次我确实激励了别人去创业。而我对此感到后悔,因为如果他们不是自然而然地被激发,在我不再身边的情况下,他们没法长时间维持下去。
Kapil: 嗯,这不是关于他们的问题。我会说,唯一真正的问题不在于他们的激励是否能持续。真正的问题在于是否存在想要激励他们的欲望。那才是从一开始就注定行不通的。
Naval: 是我想要激励他们的欲望?
Kapil: 没错。没有他人。这是又一个话题了。我说不了两句话它就变成一件完全不同的事了。
Naval: 让我们深入聊聊。没有他人。我说过人生是一场单人游戏。你只是在和自己竞争。你大部分时间在和自己争论、冲突、仰慕、审视自己。你独自出生。独自死去。你如何解读事物完全是通过你自己。你如何看待世界完全是通过你自己。这就是我的意思。也许你指的是比这更深层的东西。
Kapil: “没有他人”意味着你自己之外没有任何问题,所有的冲突都是自我冲突。那些因某种境况而产生痛苦的事情,其实并不是由境况造成的。境况不会制造痛苦,它只是揭示了痛苦。如果一个人的意图是”我想要激励他”,那就是一个问题。如果意图是”我不在乎是否激励了他”,那就不是问题。
问题出现在个人身上,因为如果他试图去激励别人,那源自自我。自我并不坏,但如果一个人试图激励别人,他们实际上是在试图在自己的内心获得重要性。这也不坏。问题是它会制造问题。这就是”坏”的地方。如果你不在乎自己是否激励了别人,那你就自由了。
而自由也不是什么”好”东西!只不过是自由不会制造问题而已。
赞美与侮辱
Naval: 举个简单的例子:如果我在 Twitter 上发了一条推文,目的是为了获得赞美。我收到了一大堆赞美。我喜欢这些。我去给所有赞美点”赞”。然后我收到几条侮辱,那些侮辱刺痛了我,我感觉很糟。只需要一条侮辱就能抵消几十条赞美,在情绪上——人脑就是这样构造的。
在你这样做足够长的时间之后,你意识到正是因为我在享受那些赞美,侮辱才会击中我。它们击中的是某种深层的恐惧——它们可能是真的。如果有人叫我河马,我不在乎。那不是真的。但如果有人说,“哦,你在装成一个假大师,“那可能会伤害到我,因为有时候我确实在试图那样做。所以如果它揭示了关于我的某些东西,某些已经存在的冲突和痛苦,那么它就会痛。只要理解了赞美是如何让我膨胀的,我就能认识到侮辱把我打了回来,而自由来自于认识到这既不好也不坏。我可以继续做这个交易,但至少我现在知道了我看到侮辱时为什么感觉糟糕。
Kapil: 所有这些都会归结到一个问题:“你是否真的想知道?你是否是那种真的想要了解这些东西从何而来的人,因为你渴望永远摆脱它们?“
剥洋葱
Naval: 人不一定非要经历这种理解过程。有这些幻觉是有帮助的,因为那是我们在社会中运作的方式。你可以说社会就是以这种方式条件化了我们,使我们能够在正常社会中运转。但随着你对这些东西理解得越多,我注意到一件有趣的事:当你剥洋葱的时候,必须是真心的。否则就不是真的。否则就只是另一种对快感的追逐。
Kapil: 连”真心”也不是一条规则。没有必要真心。那并不”好”。就像谦逊一样,谦卑并不好。没有什么东西是”好”的。
Naval: 对,如果我在进行自我提升并且对此感觉良好,那么我的头脑最终会被这种新形象占据——成为一个擅长自我提升的人——然后我只是为自己设下了另一个陷阱。
Kapil: 全都是一场换壳游戏(shell game)。完全正确。
Naval: 我注意到的一件事是,我知道自己发现了真相的方式之一,就是那个问题被永远解决了。
Kapil: 完全正确。
Naval: 我不需要再重新面对那个问题,因为那个问题被永远解决了。我的内在状态和外在状态都”改善了”。它们改变了。“改善”这个词太大了,所以更准确地说是”它们改变了”。内在,我更安静了。外在,我的生活没那么复杂了。
终点,而非旅程
Kapil: 你提出了一个关键性的观点:这不在于旅程。它绝对在于终点。你想到达那个不再拥有它的地方。你寻找的不是治疗,你寻找的是治愈。终点是存在的。这不是关于在接下来的 90 年里不断遭受打击然后感觉好一点,再遭受打击然后抹点万金油。这是关于想要彻底摆脱它。
终点和旅程——那是又一个谎言。不在于旅程。在于终点。终点需要旅程,但你生活中所做的一切都由终点来定义。你每天离开家门的那一刻,你都有一个目的地。是目的地创造了路径。
Naval: 这是那些社会性谎言之一,每个人都在谈论旅程,说旅程本身就是奖赏。是啊,旅程就是你实际正在经历的那个东西。那就是你此刻所在的位置。但如果你没有到达一个终点,你多少浪费了你的时间。
Kapil: 嗯,如果没有目的地,没有人会开始任何旅程。如果没有到达某个地方的强制冲动,那么没有人会开始任何形式的旅程。只是大多数人的目的地就是那张处方。穿上橘色袍子,坐在香炉前,拥有”我是一个瑜伽士”、“我在冥想”、“我在做一切灵性之事”的自我形象。
这本身就变成了一个目的地:我达到了那样的自我形象,我用那种方式看待自己。
Naval: 那什么才是一个值得追求的目的地?
Kapil: 哦,不存在什么”值得”。这不是关于执行规则。没有规则。如果一个人是真诚的,规则应该不惜一切代价被避免,因为哪里有规则,哪里就有不真诚。比如斯多葛主义,它就是一条规则。它走不到任何地方。它更多地是在制造自我形象。
一切始于真相
一切始于真相。真相是什么?真相是,在一个人的生命中,他有各种问题。这就是真相。在一个人的生命中,他有特定的各种问题。有些问题对他来说比对他邻居更为尖锐。他最尖锐的问题就是他活生生的现实。它们不是抽象的。它们不是灵性的。它们就在他面前,他每一天都活在其中。那才是可以开始的地方。
Naval: 所以一个人是从自己的问题非常具体地开始的。每个人都面临真实的问题,如果你有真心想要一劳永逸地解决这些问题的渴望,穿过它们的方式不是遵循某种例行程序或建立某种”解决问题之人”的形象。而是去审视其中的真相,不管它多么不受欢迎、多么不可传播或不可解释。如果你寻找真相并找到了它,当你解决了问题时,你就会知道你找到了它。
Kapil: 如果你回到零点片刻,零点就是对”问题可以被永远解决”这一点的理解。社会相信旅程。社会相信永无止境的治疗。练习、练习、练习、练习、练习、永远练习下去。当整个游戏被设定为永远练习时,就没有终结。没有任何东西的到达。
Naval: 有一种方式可以让人看到这一点。如果你看看我们如何看待灵性和内在地解决问题,它被认为是:“哦,我就是打算永远在这上面下功夫。我要永远看心理医生。我要永远冥想。我要永远阅读。我要永远和咨询师或教练谈话。我要一直在努力。我在路上。我在旅程中。“但如果你进入一个非常实际的事情,比如赚钱,没有人会说:“我要永远工作下去。“不,他们会说:“我想赚一大笔钱。“对吧?如果我创办一家公司:“我想让公司成功,我想让公司上市,或者被收购,或者产生足够的现金流,以至于在我还活着的时候,我能花掉那些现金。“在赚钱的语境下,我们极度务实。我们想在还足够年轻、足够有活力的时候就把钱赚到。但在内在的语境下,我们就变得充满灵性,开始谈论:“也许来世,也许在天堂或地狱,或者我转世的人生,或者我就一直做我的自我修炼、自我提升直到我死去的那一天”,而永远不到达目的地被认为是可接受的。
零努力地跨越问题
Kapil: 关于如何在不费吹灰之力的情况下跨越你的问题,有一个非常简单的真相。
Naval: 我洗耳恭听。
Kapil: 一切在于暴露。如果一个人在接下来的 50 年里坐在他的沙发上,他的内在环境——从他的心智到他的大脑,他内部的一切都是直接的共振——就像一个音叉。它对输入做出回应。和麦克风一样。如果那个人定期地暴露在真相之中,他的耳朵甚至不需要有意识地听到它。他内在的某种东西会吸收那个真相,那将成为他的新常态。一个人会变成他的环境,这就是为什么以野蛮而精准的方式安排自己的环境,使其与他想要到达的方向一致,是绝对关键的。
没有人这样做。
如果一个人定期地暴露在真相之中——而不是处方。必须是纯粹的真相。那么那就成为他的常态。那就成为他思考的方式。他的大脑开始重新连接自己。不需要做哪怕一丝一毫的努力。不需要做哪怕一丝一毫的心理治疗。不需要药物。人体自我疗愈。一切都取决于输入。一切只关乎一件事且仅此一件事:暴露。
你成为你最持续暴露于其中的那个东西。
Naval: 在现代语境下,那些对真相、对征服心智和内在自由非常感兴趣的人,往往会聚集在一起读同样的书,思考同样的事情,听同样的播客,和同样的人交谈。尽管处方不起作用,也没有哪本书能让你征服心智,听任何播客也不会给你内在自由,但最终在某个时刻,它确实会渗透进去。你被你想要成为的东西所吸引。而当你沉浸其中时,你别无选择,只能随着时间成为那个东西。
就像在财富创造中,如果你想创办公司,你去硅谷,或者你去一个创业者的圈子,你在他们周围花足够的时间。你在科技行业待得够久,你就会进入科技行业。你在一群科技人周围待着,你就会整天谈论科技。所以,我们自然而然地被某些东西吸引并沉浸其中。它为未来创造了必然性。
滴定你的环境
Kapil: 而将其提升到下一个层次,就在于滴定那个环境,因为任何环境——从硅谷到其他任何地方——虽然有其好处,也会有其弊端。关键在于把所有不想要的滴定出去,把所有想要的滴定进来。它可以非常精细地调节,就像自助餐一样。
Naval: 我想和你谈谈我注意到自己的一个具体问题。我了解这个已经有一段时间了,但它真的很糟糕。我不完全理解为什么即使我看到了它,它仍然持续存在。每当我为自己弄清楚某件事,并且正走在一条弄清楚它的好路上时——举个例子,我最近在读一些东西。它在与我产生共鸣,每当我读到一个句子,我就会陷入关于那意味着什么、如何应用、我自己的诠释的思考中。进展很好。自然而然地,我在内心视野中发现自己正在向别人讲授它。把它教给别人。这在我身上总是发生。一旦我开始弄清楚某件事或理解它,我就开始把它变成一条推文、一期播客或某种给别人听的讲座。我在脑海中一遍又一遍地看到这个画面。为什么我总是把一切转化为对别人的指导?为什么除非我在教别人,否则它就不感觉真实?
Kapil: 这为什么重要?
Naval: 这有两个问题。一个当然是社会层面的问题,就是你应该谦虚,自己把事情弄清楚,为什么要告诉所有人该怎么做?这是社会层面的那个。我不太在乎那个。我更在乎的是:你几乎无法把任何事情的赤裸真相交给社会。当你必须在脑海中把它变成被教给别人的东西的那一刻,你实际上是在削弱它。你在引入虚假和附加条件。你不一定在直面那赤裸的真相。
Kapil: 但那不重要,因为最强烈的渴望总会获胜。如果分享它、把它变成教学的渴望在那里,它就是在那里。如果你真心想跨越那个,那么最快的途径——你猜怎么着——就是允许自己去教它,因为任何压制都是倒退。
Naval: 这只是更多的自我冲突。这是又一个”应该”,而且它在拖慢一切。所以就径直穿过去?
Kapil: 甚至都不用穿过去。只要明白,如果你做了,那就是做了。你察觉到自己正在做的这个事实本身就已经足够了。不需要再做更多。当火燃烧的时候,只要允许它烧,它终究会烧尽。
Naval: 我不想陷入自我冲突。我现在非常清楚,当我头脑中的两个部分开始互相打架时,我们都有一种倾向,偏袒一方而压制另一方。“哦,这是好的部分,这是坏的部分。这是天使,这是魔鬼。”
Kapil: 那些”应该”和”不应该”纯粹是毒药。永远不要试图把你的心念拽回来。给它完全的自由。你最强大的武器是理解和觉察它正在走向哪里,而不是像机械自动机一样监视自己的念头。仅仅是这个理解——你知道心念正在走向哪里,而且你确实看见自己在这样做——这个看见本身就已经在那个行为上戳了一个洞。
用心念理解心念
Naval: 让我们聊聊”用心念来理解心念”这件事,因为这是灵性修行中最容易让人困惑的地方。有些人认为,只要你的心念还在运转,你就是失败的。他们试图压制心念。另一些人则认为心念有正确的运作方式和错误的运作方式。正确的心念应该压制错误的心念。这是一个经典的观点——可以称之为基督教的,或犹太教的,或伊斯兰教的观点。“这些是好的念头,这些是坏的念头。“然后还有一种自我探究的路径,跟你说的有一点像,就是心念可以用来理解心念,但不一定要去干预它。
Kapil: 这完全取决于:你想去哪里?没有这个问题,就没有对话可言。所有这些哲学之所以存在,就是因为那个问题没有被问出来。
Naval: 对,它们想要达成的是不同的事情。
Kapil: 每个人都一头扎进处方里。每个人进入这场游戏的驱动力都是”应该”、“好”、“坏”和”不应该”。那就是驱动力。驱动力必须是:你想去哪里?因为那个问题的答案会创造出路径。
Naval: 那假设我选择”自由”。
Kapil: 好,如果一个人真正想要自由,那么这背后的真相是——自由是免于心念的自由。试图用心念来理解心念这个想法,那是理智层面的。它无关紧要。那只是心念自己制造出来的现象。理解发生在某个地方,而我们不会用任何解剖学名词去标记它。我们不会叫它”心念”。存在一种理解的能力。至于它是一部分心念、两部分心念还是零部分心念,这不重要。那只会把你带向另一条路。忘掉它。
理解会从某个地方涌现出来。这几乎像是真诚、认真和严肃共同缔造了这样一个器官。
所以,自由来自于对事物从何而来的理解,而不是有意识地去终结它们。
追求进步的陷阱
Naval: 至少对我来说,问题是——“哦,我比以前更自由了,所以我在进步。”
Kapil: 寻找进步本质上就是在寻找快乐。这是自我形象带来的快乐,它在说,“我现在比以前处在一个更好的位置,所以当我取得一些进步时就会兴奋。“这不是要把它处方化、把它变成一条”快乐是坏的”规则。那不是真相。真相是理解:一个人生命中所有追求,都是由快乐驱动的。
Naval: 这没什么问题。
Kapil: 完全没有问题。
Naval: 它是一个驱动力,但如果你试图走向自由,它有效吗?
Kapil: 不,那是一条不同的路。而且它不是一条错的路。快乐,意味着你将始终在守望那艘船什么时候靠岸。只要一个人始终在守望那艘船什么时候靠岸,他的注意力就必然停留在地平线上。
Naval: 所以,当我在记录一点一点的小进展,并围绕这个记录进展、不断变好的人格创造出一个形象时,我就很难拥有自由——正是那个形象困住了我。我总是在想这些。我总是在体验那种快乐。然后会有挫折。如果我突然生气或不开心,或者我有一刻没有自由,或者我认为我没有自由,那种快乐就被抽走了,而我是真正的不自由。我又被困住了。
Kapil: 是的,那就是心念的游戏。你又回到了心念之中。这就是为什么自由真的是超越心念的。它是免于心念的自由。你刚才描述的,就是一场心念的游戏。至于那是什么样的游戏,不管是一场灵性的游戏还是一场物质的游戏,都无所谓。只要心念把你俘获在某个游戏里,它就”没事”了。它”安歇于和谐之中”,因为它知道它已经抓住了你。
Naval: 我的一个朋友说过,没有任何心念的技术能让你从心念中解脱出来。但同时,我们又在谈论接近真相和理解。那不就是心念在做的理解吗?还是说是某种超越心念的东西在理解?
Kapil: 哪里有真诚,哪里有认真,那里本身就是它自己的审视工具。
术语表
| 原文 | 中文 |
|---|---|
| highlights | 精华片段 |
| how-tos | 操作指南 |
| piecemeal | 零敲碎打(指逐步、分段地解决问题的方式) |
| prescriptionize | 处方化 |
| prescriptions | 处方(指方法、技巧、操作指南式的预设路径) |
| pure | 纯粹的 |
| tributary | 支流(比喻偏离主线的旁支路径) |
此文章由 AI 翻译(miaoyan_chunk_translate)