Happiness
A collection of all my episodes on happiness.
Live Long Enough and You’ll Become a Philosopher
This podcast is a practical philosophy of health, wealth and happiness
Naval: Let’s talk about why we’re doing this podcast. It’s really a discussion of highly practical philosophy.
Philosophy, as we normally think of it, is impractical. It’s abstract and obtuse—something written a long time ago in fancy language. We put it on a pedestal and it feels unapproachable. Sometimes it comes across like truisms.
The big problems are the old ones
But if you live long enough, you will become a philosopher yourself. You’ll have spent a lifetime solving the big problems in your life. The big problems are the old ones, the ones we’ve been trying to solve since the beginning: How do I stay happy? How do I become healthy? How do I become wealthy? How do I raise the family I want?
What one monkey can do, another can do
This podcast is about practical philosophy that has worked for us. What one monkey can do, another can. We want people to think, “If this person learned something that made them happier, healthier or wealthier, then I can do it too.” That’s what we focus on: a practical philosophy of health, wealth and happiness.
Nivi: If you summed it up in one word, it would be health : financial health, mental health and physical health.
Naval: Health is a state of well-being. Let’s get to a state of financial health where we’re not fearful day to day. That’s where we started, and we spent a lot of time on that. Let’s get to a state of physical health where we’re not suffering from afflictions, disease and addiction. Let’s get to a state of mental health where we’re relatively at peace and quite content with ourselves.
Happiness Without Material Comfort Is Playing on Hard Mode
It’s easier to fulfill your material desires than to renounce them
Naval: You can achieve happiness without financial wealth. Most of us recognize you’re not going to buy your way to happiness. But in modern times, you can buy your way out of common causes of unhappiness . Financial wealth can give you freedom and more time. It can give you peace.
Renouncing things is not an easy path to happiness
In olden times, one of the routes to finding peace was becoming a monk. You would renounce things—sex, shelter, money and other material attachments—and go off in the woods. You might find some peace after 30 years, when you’d finally gotten over the fact that you weren’t going to have these things. The truth is, most of them probably never got over it. There are lots of monks out there but there aren’t a lot of enlightened people.
It’s easier to fulfill your material needs than to renounce them
It was Osho who said, essentially: “ Every time I meet a prostitute, she wants to talk about God. And every time I meet a priest, he wants to talk about sex. ” Whatever you deny yourself will become your new prison.
Today it’s actually easier to fulfill your desire for material comfort than it is to renounce it. It’ll take you a lifetime to renounce material comfort, and it still might not work. But you can make some money and be materially successful in less than a lifetime.
You can achieve happiness without material comfort, and it probably would be a more lasting form of happiness. But that’s playing on hard mode.
When you’re sick, your desires run away
Physical health is the foundation of everything. If you don’t have your physical health, you have nothing. A Confucius saying I like: “A sick man only wants one thing, a healthy man wants 10,000 things.” When you’re sick, your desires run away. Without the ability to get up and function, you can’t turn into the desiring machine that you are.
Although physical health is the most important, I speak the least about it because it’s the area where I have the least specific knowledge. I am not self-actualized in that regard. I’m in OK shape and have an OK diet. I understand the theories of physical health, but I would feel fraudulent offering it to you unless I were a paragon of physical health myself.
I’ve gone from being unhappy to being very happy
In wealth, I’m much more self-actualized. And on the mental health side—finding happiness and peace—I’ve gone from being a mostly unhappy person to being very happy. That was deliberate. It was practiced and effort-based. It happened through realizations. Because I made progress, I can tell you what worked for me.
Happiness Is Not Science or Math
Happiness is more like poetry than algorithms
Naval: is an extremely loaded term. It means completely different things to different people. Everybody has strong preconceived notions of what happiness is and how they can attain it.
There are many types of happiness
I’m going to conflate happiness, pleasure, peace, joy, bliss, contentment, well-being and more. I don’t do it deliberately.
But at the same time, this is not math. We cannot clearly bound these words. They mean different things in different contexts to different people. So try and get into the spirit of what I’m saying, rather than getting hung up on specific words and details.
When some people talk about happiness, they’re really talking about pleasure or thrills. They might say, “I had a really good meal; therefore, I’m happy.” When other people are talking about happiness, they’re talking about a general state of contentment and well-being. Other people are referring to enlightenment, like a Buddha would have reached.
Many people take the point of view that there’s no such thing as happiness or that happiness is counterproductive—or that misery comes from pursuing happiness. There’s a lot of truth to these ideas; we’ll get into it.
Happiness is more like poetry than algorithms
I might say, “The way to be happy is X,” and people will respond, “Well, didn’t you just say happiness is a cause of misery?” This is not mathematics. You can’t link algorithms together.
This is more like poetry. If you read 50 poems by the same poet and try to map them out analytically and map words from one poem to another and see if it makes sense, you’ll miss the point. Don’t fixate on the words. Don’t even fixate on the sentences. Ponder the overall thought process and message.
Happiness Is a Skill You Can Develop
You’re not stuck at your current level of happiness
Naval: The first step to increasing your level of happiness is realizing you can. This is where a lot of people get tripped up. For the vast majority of people, some of their happiness—probably a lot more than they think—is in their control.
This step is not easy. You might be stuck on this for a long time. Many people believe that happiness cannot be developed or changed, so they devalue it. They say, “Well, I don’t want to be happy.”
Genetics is important, but it’s only half the picture
Genetics is important. It goes a long way in determining strength, athletic performance and intelligence. But your genetic set point is only about half of it. And happiness, or general contentment, is much more malleable than the other things.
It would be very hard for me to change my athletic performance dramatically purely by working out. I’m much more limited in that arena because of my genetics. But things like my temperament, outlook on life, how peaceful I am, how angry I get—these are much more in my control.
You’re not stuck at your level of happiness
So, happiness is a skill like nutrition and fitness. Happiness is a skill you identify and develop that slowly gives you results as you get better at it. It is not God-given. It’s not handed to you and now you’re stuck with it—though if you start with a high setting, by all means keep it.
Desire Is a Contract You Make to Be Unhappy
Happiness is returning to a state where nothing is missing
Naval: Desire’s a contract you make to be unhappy until you get what you want. You become disturbed because you want something. Then you work really hard to get it and are miserable in the meantime. Finally, when you get it, you revert to the state you were in before you had it. It’s not like you achieve some peak level of bliss that you stay on forever.
No single thing will make you happy forever
People hold onto a delusion that there’s something out there that will make them happy and fulfilled forever. No single thing can do that.
Enlightenment is something different. It seems to be a permanent solution; but we’re not going to explore that just yet. We’re just talking about common sense happiness.
Happiness is a process of understanding and self-discovery
There’s no single permanent solution to happiness. Rather, achieving happiness requires a process of understanding and self-discovery. It is a process of training yourself to see certain truths.
If obtaining things made us permanently happy, then the cavemen would have been miserable, and we would all be deliriously happy. Yet, net happiness per person is not going up and might even be going down. Modernity probably brings more unhappiness than the past.
So happiness is returning to the state where nothing is missing in this moment.
If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Happy?
You can increase your happiness without losing your drive
Naval: “Happiness is for stupid people.” That’s a common complaint I hear from smart overachievers. They think only dumb or lazy people can be happy. Entrepreneurs will say, “I don’t want to be happy because I want to be successful.” They worry that if they get too happy they’ll lose their desire and won’t work hard anymore.
Can you increase happiness without losing your drive?
Like everything else, there is some truth to this. Generally, the more intelligent you are, the more you can see behind the façade of everyday life being easy or safe. You see all the risks and downsides—the calamities that await us. You see the cynicism and manipulation behind so many things portrayed as being good for you or society. You become cynical, and you signal your intelligence through cynicism. Very smart people often communicate in purely cynical observations.
It’s OK to not want to be happy. But we’re going to explore whether you can increase your happiness without significantly lowering your drive or intellect.
Let’s take the first objection: “I’m not happy because I’m smart.” This is partially true. You are unhappy partially because you know and understand too much. You’ve been exposed to too much. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy and retain your intelligence.
Figuring out the truth will lead to happiness
But don’t get it backwards: You’re not smart because you’re unhappy; you’re unhappy because you’re smart. You can be happy and smart—it’s just going to take more work. The good news is, smart people are good at figuring out the truth. The more you dig into certain deep truths, the freer and more peaceful you will become. That peace will lead to happiness.
If you’re so smart, why aren’t you happy? I absolutely believe that is true. The beauty of being mentally high functioning in our society is that you can trade it for almost anything. If you’re smart, you can figure out how to be healthy within your genetic constraints and how to be wealthy within your environmental constraints.
If you’re smart, you can figure out how to be happy within your biological constraints. But your biological constraints are a lot larger than you might think.
The dynamic range of happiness is quite large
If you’ve ever gotten drunk or achieved an altered state of mind on psychedelic drugs or through meditation, breathing or other hypnotic techniques, you have experienced brief moments of happiness beyond what you feel on a typical day.
Of course, some of this is a fake, pleasure-driven happiness. But there’s truth to it; otherwise, you wouldn’t desire that state.
Achieving these brief states of happiness can show you how dynamic your range is—and that range can be quite large.
How do you nudge yourself in that direction on a perpetual basis, as opposed to visiting it by stunning your mind into submission and silence?
Being Unhappy Is Extremely Inefficient
A peaceful mind makes better decisions
Naval: Besides “I’m too smart for it,” the other objection is, “I don’t want it to lower my productivity. I don’t want to have less desire or less work ethic.”
Fact check on that is: True. The happier and more peaceful you are, the less likely you are to run out and change the world. At the same time, being unhappy is very inefficient. A peaceful person doesn’t have extraneous thoughts going through their head. If you’re a driven, unhappy person, your mind will be on 24/7.
Unhappy people don’t have good judgment
What are the consequences of this? You won’t sleep well. You’re much more likely to react with anger and dig yourself into a hole you have to dig out of. Your decisions are emotional and impetuous. You’re more likely to get caught in the busy trap—busy all the time and running from one thing to another because you can’t mentally prioritize.
When you don’t have peace of mind, it’s difficult to make judgments because you have too many threads going through your head. You don’t have time to devote to making those judgments.
There’s a tradeoff. If you become the Buddha tomorrow, it’s unlikely you’ll also launch rockets to the moon like Elon Musk. On the other hand, there are plenty of successful, optimistic scientists, innovators and other leaders—especially as they get older. Happy people aren’t always ineffective.
A peaceful mind makes better decisions
When I got happier in my own life, I became much more effective—even though I don’t work as hard as I used to. I’m able to form relationships with people who I would have kept at a distance earlier in my life, for whatever preconceived notions I held.
I make decisions much more clearly now, because I can see the long-term outcomes.I cut straight to the chase and don’t try and negotiate an extra 20% here or there—because I know that’s going to make me unhappy in the long-term, make the other person unhappy, and make the deal less stable.
I’ve become more productive even though I don’t work as hard, because I make better decisions.
Work the Least for It
Happy people don’t have to work as hard
Naval: The quality of our decisions is paramount in the modern age, because we’re all leveraged. You can be leveraged through code, community, media, capital, labor and other ways. If you’re smart, you leverage every decision you make.
If Warren Buffett makes the right decision 85% of the time and his competitors get it right 70% of the time, Buffett will win everything. That’s a source of his strength: good decision making. He makes one or two decisions a year. Most of the time he’s sitting around reading books, thinking, reading S-1s , playing bridge, traveling and golfing.
Obviously, hard work is not the solution. Good decision making and high leverage is the solution.
A peaceful mind makes better decisions
Having a peaceful mind, being a happier person, relying less on momentary pleasure and being calmer will give you the frame of mind to make better decisions. Being happy will actually increase your effectiveness. As long as the increase in effectiveness is higher than the reduction in drive, you’re well off.
Ask yourself: Would you rather be the best in the world by working the hardest for it or by working the least for it, because you worked the most intelligently?
Imagine you are the universal god. You are omniscient and omnipotent. You could change anything in the universe just by pushing a butterfly in one direction, because you know exactly how the particles will collide from there on out.
Omniscience is omnipotence. Knowledge is power . We can achieve happiness purely through knowledge, and that happiness will improve our decision making. That happiness will give us more time to read; make us more knowledgeable about how we operate and other people operate; make us more effective; and improve our judgment. It should also increase our earnings and the returns we need to be financially free.
The Modern Struggle Is Fighting Weaponized Addiction
Pursuing pleasure for its own sake creates addiction
Naval: On some very deep level, all pleasure creates its own offsetting pain and fear of loss. I recently tweeted, “ In an age of abundance, pursuing pleasure for its own sake creates addiction. ” I was upgrading a Miyamoto Musashi line, “Do not seek pleasure for its own sake.”
Musashi was a Japanese swordsman. In his time, pursuing pleasure meant a very different thing than it does today. He didn’t have unlimited processed food, Internet pornography, marijuana and alcohol available on demand.
Now that we’re in an age of abundance, we can easily fall into addiction if we pursue pleasure for its own sake. And that’s hard to get out of.
The modern struggle is really about individuals—disconnected from their tribe, religion and cultural networks—who are trying to stand up to all these addictions that have been weaponized: alcohol, drugs, pornography, processed foods, news media, Internet, social media and video games.
Addictions are fake work and fake play
Addictions let you engage in fake play and fake work. Before, you had to go socialize with friends; now, you can just get drunk with a bunch of strangers. Before, you had to go find a mate, create children and raise a family; now, you can just watch a lot of porn. Before, you had to hunt and climb trees to get fruit for a little bit of natural sweetness; now, you can buy all the gelato you want.
The modern struggle is standing up to these weaponized addictions. They give you small doses of pleasure, but they also desensitize you and expose you to the misery of their absence.
Breaking Addiction Is Socially Unacceptable
Addiction enables artificial relationships and activities
Naval: If you drink alcohol or take some kind of drug regularly, try the following thought experiment.
What events do you most look forward to? I’ll bet they’re the ones where you get to drink or do drugs. You look forward to dinnertime, an upcoming party or bar-hopping with friends.
To see how artificial it is, resolve to abstain from drinking or doing drugs the next time you go out. Now ask yourself how much you’re looking forward to that event. You’ll find: not at all.
This creates a conundrum. These sources of artificial pleasure eventually will desensitize me, bring misery when they’re gone and lead to addiction. But if I give them up, I’ll also be miserable because I’ll no longer socialize with my friends. I won’t go out, and I won’t have fun.
Breaking addiction requires a new lifestyle
Breaking addiction is very hard, because you have to break the physical addiction and you also have to change your lifestyle. You have to switch to a lifestyle in which you can be happy without that substance.
If I drink to be social and do that enough, I’ll find myself hanging out with people I wouldn’t spend time with otherwise. When I’m sober, I can’t tolerate these people, the topics we discuss or the venues we visit. I can only do it drunk.
Addiction holds together fake relationships and fake activities
These fake relationships and fake activities are held together by alcohol. If I stop drinking, I have to replace my friends and find new things to do. This is difficult and socially unacceptable.
I realized a while ago that it’s a problem to look forward to weekends and holidays. First, it takes the joy out of the everyday, because you’re living in the future and suffering the rest of time. Second, you have accepted a way of life in which most of your time is spent suffering.
Finding Peace from Mind
The mind should be a servant, not a master
Naval: Let’s talk about peace, and then we’ll talk about truth and how they relate to happiness.
When I say you want to be happy, what I’m actually saying is you want to find peace. We say peace of mind, but what we really want is peace from mind .
The mind goes quiet during the moments of greatest pleasure
During your moments of greatest pleasure—whether you’re doing a drug, having an orgasm, finding your edge kite-surfing, laughing with a friend or looking at an incredible sunset—your mind goes quiet. It calms down, and that voice in your head goes silent. You achieve a sense of awe, which you might also call beauty, bliss or joy.
We all seek this. We all chase it. Deep down, what we’re actually looking for is peace from mind.
Somewhere along the way, the mind became a master
I’m not making the mind out to be an enemy. It’s a very useful tool. But somewhere along the way, it became uncontrollable. The mind became the master rather than a servant.
Our mind evolved to be paranoid, fearful and angry. Humans are the most paranoid and angry creatures to ever walk the earth. We are apex predators who dominated the food chain by killing, subjugating or domesticating every other species on this planet. We did it through fear, violence and, of course, cooperation.
Nature is brutal. Turn on any nature documentary and you’ll see: A eats B; B eats C; C eats D; D eats E. Nature is red in tooth and claw. We are derived from violence and blood.
Our environment rewards pessimism and paranoia
Modern society’s a lot safer and more peaceful. It still makes sense to be careful, maintain some paranoia and occasionally to get angry—but not as much as we’re hardwired to do. It’s okay to dial it down.
The threat level is not as high as our genes think. If you were walking through the woods 1,000 years ago and heard something rustling in the bushes, you’d be right to be paranoid. Let’s say nine out of 10 times it’s a rabbit in the bushes, and one out of 10 times it’s a tiger. The optimist would catch a rabbit nine out of 10 times and get eaten by a tiger the 10th. The pessimist survives every time.
Our evolved nature rewards pessimism. But we live in much safer times, so we must find ways past that and work towards peace.
Happiness Is Peace in Motion
Peace is happiness at rest
Naval: In some ways, modern life is more hectic than prehistoric times. Our sources of stress are more chronic.
Let’s define stress. In physical terms, stress happens when something wants to be in two places at one time. If I apply pressure to both ends of an iron beam, I create stress on the beam because one part wants to be north and the other part wants to be south.
Stress is an inability to decide what’s important
In mental terms, stress is an inability to decide what’s important. You want two incompatible things at once. I want to relax, but I need to work. Now I’m under stress.
When you give up on something, it’s no longer stressful. When you accept that something’s out of your control, there’s no point in getting stressed about it.
The mind constantly creates stress, making you more paranoid or angry than situations warrant.
You want to find peace from mind. You aren’t turning off your brain. You can’t suppress the mind or force it to do anything. If I say, “Don’t think of a white elephant,” you’ll think of a white elephant. Rather, you want to develop tools so your mind can calm down on its own. Then, stress will go away naturally.
How do you do that? How do you end up with a more peaceful mind?
Peace is happiness at rest
Here’s a phrase I like: “Peace is happiness at rest; happiness is peace in motion.” Someone who’s peaceful at rest will end up happy when they do an activity. While a happy person sitting idle will be peaceful. The ultimate goal is not happiness , even though we use that term a lot. The goal is peace .
So the question becomes: How do you get to peace?
The first problem with attaining peace is that no activity will get you there. Fundamentally, peace is inactivity; it’s a sense that everything is fine.
If everything is fine, you’re not doing any physical or mental activity to change it. You’re also not wishing you were doing something to change it, because that creates stress.
You cannot work toward peace, only understanding
You cannot achieve peace directly or even work toward it. Rather, you can work toward understanding. There’s an old Sikh saying, “ The name of God is truth. ” When you understand certain things and they become a part of you, you naturally become a more peaceful person.
The Closer You Are to the Truth, the More Silent You Become Inside
Wise people are quiet
Naval: I put out this tweet a while back: “ The closer you are to the truth, the more silent you become inside .”
We intuitively know this. When someone is blabbing too much or being the court jester, you know they’re not at peace. You know Robin Williams was not peaceful inside.
Wisdom begets stoicism
We expect a wise person like a Lao Tzu or Socrates to be quiet—not because they’re trying to look wise, but because they’re internally quiet. We understand that peace and wisdom go together.
Kapil Gupta , who’s written far more on this topic than I have, said, “ Wisdom begets stoicism. Stoicism does not beget wisdom .” As you become wise, you naturally become stoic. You don’t become wise by being stoic. That’s reversing the cart and horse.
As an aside, one of my tweets the other day got incredibly misinterpreted. So many people failed that IQ test. I wrote, “ The smarter you get, the slower you read .” The speed reading crowd got triggered, and people said, “Well, Bill Gates reads 150 books per year.” Others said, “I read really slowly, so I must be smart.” They got it wrong. I said, “If A, then B.” That doesn’t mean, “If B, then A.”
Groups Search for Consensus, Individuals Search for Truth
What society wants for you isn’t what’s good for you
Naval: What’s considered to be true is fought over. Individuals search for truth but groups search for consensus —and society is the largest group. So the biggest problem we run into is this: What society wants for you is not always what’s good for you.
Even smart people go along with society’s lies
Even smart, critical thinkers go along with many of society’s truths, knowing deep down they are lies.
Here’s a simple example: “Money won’t make you happy” is a social truth, but it’s not an individual truth. Look at all the individuals trying to make money. They know money can remove a lot of sources of unhappiness and get them to a point where happiness is under their control. It becomes their choice, as opposed to being inflicted upon them by external forces.
That is just one of many lies society tells you.
Another one of society’s lies is that you send your kids to school for education. In fact, they get an hour of education a day and indoctrination the rest of the time. They’re taught at the speed of the slowest student, and they’re mostly taught subjects that are irrelevant or obsolete.
School is a combination of a bit of education, large doses of socialization and compliance training, and a massive dose of babysitting—which is helpful for parents who can’t take care of their kids at home. It also keeps young troublemakers off the street.
School does a lot of things, but education is just a tiny piece of it. Homeschooling stats clearly show this, and even unschooling stats are starting to show it.
Guilt is society training you to be your own warden
Society does not just lie to you. It programs you to beat yourself up when you transgress one of its truths. Guilt is society programming you so effectively that you become your own warden. Guilt is society’s voice speaking in your head .
Truth-seeking is a hard business. You essentially have to understand, with deep conviction, things that you’ve been programmed to misunderstand.
The Path to Peace Is Truth
When self-improvement fails, work on discovering the truth
Naval: The search for peace is really the search for truth. Try to see the advantage of understanding things by discovering the truth rather than by practice.
When you discover the truth, bad habits can disappear
Let’s say I’m trying to quit smoking. There are techniques I can try, but they’re always painful and difficult. Often, a moment will come when I see myself in a new way that allows the habit to disappear by itself. I get a diagnosis of lung cancer and understand I’m going to die, or I see a friend get in trouble with similar bad habits. When I see something clearly enough and understand it, the bad habit can dissolve by itself.
More broadly, I may see some facet of myself that I don’t like. Maybe I see it in a friend and then can’t unsee it to the point that we can no longer be friends.
Self-improvement is just a dressed up form of self-conflict
Seeing and understanding things leads to changes that practice and technique cannot achieve. When you’re following a technique, there’s always a gap between you and the thing you’re trying to achieve. There’s always repetition, struggle and conflict.
If we want peace, we have to give up on self-conflict. We even have to give up on self-improvement, because self-improvement is just a dressed up form of self-conflict. Instead, we need to use our natural curiosity to understand things better. Through understanding, we will naturally improve ourselves.
Once we truly understand the effects of unhealthy food on our bodies—when we see the extra weight we’re carrying, or we track the glucose spike and crash after eating too much sugar, or we see how caffeine hops us up and then crashes us—we automatically change for the better.
So, the path towards peace is truth.
幸福
关于幸福的所有节目的合集。
活得够久,你就会成为哲学家
这档播客是一套关于健康、财富和幸福的实用哲学。
Naval: 我们来聊聊为什么要做这档播客。它其实是一场关于高度实用哲学的讨论。
哲学,按照我们通常的理解,是不实用的。它是抽象而晦涩的——是很久以前用华丽语言写就的东西。我们把它供在高台上,觉得它遥不可及。有时候它听起来像是些不言自明的老生常谈。
但那些大问题是古老的
但如果你活得够久,你自己就会成为一个哲学家。你用了一生的时间去解决你生活中的大问题。大问题是古老的,是人类从一开始就一直在试图解决的: 我怎样才能保持快乐?我怎样才能变得健康?我怎样才能变得富有?我怎样才能养育我理想中的家庭?
一只猴子能做到的,另一只也能
这档播客讲的是对我们行之有效的实用哲学。一只猴子能做到的,另一只也能。我们希望人们会想:“如果这个人学到了让他更快乐、更健康或更富有的东西,那我也能做到。“这就是我们专注的:一套关于健康、财富和幸福的实用哲学。
Nivi: 如果用一个词来概括,那就是健康(health):财务健康、心理健康和身体健康。
Naval: 健康是一种安康的状态。让我们先达到一种财务上健康的状态,不再日常担惊受怕。这是我们的起点,我们也在这方面花了很多时间。让我们达到一种身体上健康的状态,不再受疾病、病痛和成瘾的折磨。让我们达到一种心理上健康的状态,相对平静,对自己相当知足。
没有物质舒适的幸福是在玩困难模式
满足物质欲望比放弃它们更容易
Naval: 你可以在没有财务财富的情况下获得幸福。我们大多数人认识到,你不可能用钱买到幸福。但在现代社会,你可以用钱摆脱常见的导致不幸福的原因。财务财富可以给你自由和更多时间。它可以给你平静。
放弃一切并非通往幸福的坦途
在古代,获得内心平静的途径之一是成为僧侣。你会放弃很多东西——性、住所、金钱和其他物质依附——然后遁入山林。也许三十年后你会找到一些平静,那时你终于接受了你不会再拥有这些东西的事实。事实是,他们中大多数人可能从未真正接受过。世上有很多僧侣,但开悟的人并不多。
满足物质需求比放弃它们更容易
Osho 曾说过,大意是:“每次我遇到妓女,她都想谈论上帝。而每次我遇到牧师,他都想谈论性。“凡是你禁止自己去拥有的东西,都会成为你新的牢笼。
如今,满足对物质舒适的欲望实际上比放弃它更容易。放弃物质舒适需要你花一辈子,而且可能还是做不到。但你可以赚到一些钱,在不到一辈子的时间里获得物质上的成功。
你可以在没有物质舒适的情况下获得幸福,而且那可能是一种更持久的幸福形式。但那是在玩困难模式。
当你生病时,欲望会失控
身体健康是一切的根基。如果你没有身体健康,你就一无所有。我喜欢孔子的一句话:“病夫只求一事,健者欲求万千。“当你生病时,欲望会失控。没有起身行动的能力,你无法成为那台本该是的欲望机器。
虽然身体健康最为重要,但我对它谈得最少,因为这是我最缺乏专业知识的领域。在这方面我没有自我实现。我身材还行,饮食也还行。我理解身体健康的理论,但如果我自己不是身体健康的典范,向你们传授这些我会觉得心虚。
我从不快乐变得非常快乐
在财富方面,我更接近自我实现。而在心理健康这一面——寻找幸福与平静——我已经从一个大部分时间不快乐的人变得非常快乐。这是刻意的。是通过练习和努力实现的。是通过一系列领悟达成的。因为我取得了进步,所以我可以告诉你什么对我有效。
幸福不是科学或数学
幸福更像是诗歌而非算法
Naval: 幸福是一个承载了太多含义的词。它对不同的人意味着完全不同的东西。每个人都对幸福是什么以及如何获得幸福有着强烈的先入之见。
幸福有很多种类型
我将把幸福、快乐、平静、喜悦、极乐、满足、安康等等混为一谈。我并非刻意如此。
但与此同时,这不是数学。我们无法清晰地界定这些词语。它们在不同情境下对不同的人意味着不同的东西。所以请试着体会我所说的精神,而不是纠结于具体的措辞和细节。
当一些人谈论幸福时,他们实际上在谈论快感或刺激。他们可能会说:“我吃了一顿特别好的饭;所以我很幸福。“当另一些人谈论幸福时,他们说的是一种普遍的满足和安康状态。还有的人指的是开悟,就像佛陀所达到的那种境界。
许多人持这样的观点:幸福这种东西根本不存在,或者追求幸福是适得其反的——又或者痛苦源于追求幸福。这些说法有相当多的道理;我们会深入讨论。
幸福更像是诗歌而非算法
我可能会说”获得幸福的方法是 X”,然后人们会回应说,“你不是刚说幸福是痛苦的根源吗?“这不是数学。你不能把算法串在一起。
这更像是诗歌。如果你读了同一位诗人的 50 首诗,然后试图用分析的方式把它们排列出来,把一首诗里的词语映射到另一首,看看是否说得通,你就会错过要点。不要执着于词语。甚至不要执着于句子。去沉思整体的思想脉络和传达的信息。
幸福是一种你可以培养的技能
你并非困在目前的幸福水平
Naval: 提升幸福水平的第一步是意识到你可以做到。很多人正是在这里绊倒的。对绝大多数人来说,他们的一部分幸福——可能远比他们以为的多得多——是掌控在自己手里的。
这一步并不容易。你可能会在这里卡很久。许多人认为幸福无法培养或改变,所以他们贬低了它的价值。他们会说,“嗯,我不想幸福。”
遗传很重要,但只占一半
遗传很重要。它在很大程度上决定了力量、运动表现和智力。但你的基因设定值只占大约一半。而且幸福,或者说普遍的满足感,比其他方面要容易改变得多。
想要纯粹通过锻炼来大幅改变我的运动表现,会非常困难。在这个领域我受限于遗传。但像我的性情、对人生的态度、我有多平静、我有多愤怒——这些都更在我的掌控之中。
你并非困在目前的幸福水平
所以,幸福是一门技能,就像营养和健身一样。幸福是你识别并加以培养的一种技能,随着你越做越好,它会慢慢给你回报。它不是天赐的。它不是交到你手上你就只能接受的东西——不过如果你一开始就有很高的设定值,那就请务必保持住。
欲望是你与自己签订的一份不快乐契约
幸福是回到一种什么都不缺的状态
Naval: 欲望是你与自己签订的一份不快乐契约——直到你得到想要的东西为止。你因为想要某样东西而心神不宁。然后你拼命去争取,在此过程中备受煎熬。最终,当你得到它时,你不过是回到了拥有它之前的状态。并不是说你达到了某个能永远停留的极乐巅峰。
没有任何单一的事物能让你永远幸福
人们抱有一种幻觉,认为外面存在某种东西,能让自己永远幸福、永远满足。没有任何单一的事物能做到这一点。
开悟是另一回事。它似乎是一个永久的解决方案;但我们暂时不去探讨它。我们这里只谈论常识层面的幸福。
幸福是一个理解与自我发现的过程
幸福没有一个单一的永久解决方案。相反,获得幸福需要一个理解与自我发现的过程。它是一个训练自己去看见某些真相的过程。
如果获得事物能让我们永久幸福,那洞穴人一定痛苦不堪,而我们每个人都该欣喜若狂。然而,人均净幸福值并没有在上升,甚至可能在下降。现代生活带来的不快乐大概比过去更多。
所以,幸福就是回到当下什么都不缺的状态。
你这么聪明,为什么不幸福?
你可以在不丧失驱动力的前提下提升幸福感
Naval: “幸福是给蠢人的。“这是我经常从聪明的成就者那里听到的抱怨。他们认为只有笨人或懒人才能幸福。企业家会说:“我不想幸福,因为我想成功。“他们担心一旦太幸福,就会失去欲望,不再努力工作。
你能在不丧失驱动力的前提下提升幸福感吗?
和所有事情一样,这里面有一定道理。一般来说,你越聪明,就越能看穿日常生活中看似轻松安全的那层表象。你看到了所有的风险和负面——那些等待我们的灾难。你看到了许多被包装成对你或社会有益的事物背后的愤世嫉俗和操控。你变得愤世嫉俗,并通过愤世嫉俗来彰显自己的聪明。非常聪明的人往往只用愤世嫉俗的观察来交流。
不想幸福也没关系。但我们将探讨的是,你是否能在不显著降低自己的驱动力或智力的前提下提升幸福感。
先看第一个反对理由:“我不幸福是因为我聪明。“这在部分程度上是对的。你不幸福,部分原因是你知道得太多、理解得太多。你接触得太多。但这并不意味着你不能在保持聪明的同时也获得幸福。
找到真相会通向幸福
但别搞反了:你不是因为不幸福才聪明;你是因为聪明才不幸福。你可以既幸福又聪明——只是需要付出更多努力。好消息是,聪明人擅长找到真相。你越是深入挖掘某些深层真相,就会变得越自由、越安宁。那种安宁会通向幸福。
如果你这么聪明,为什么不幸福?我完全相信这一点确实成立。在我们的社会中,心智高功能的美妙之处在于,你几乎可以用它换取任何东西。如果你聪明,你就能想清楚如何在自身基因约束的范围内保持健康,如何在自身环境约束的范围内获得财富。
如果你聪明,你就能想清楚如何在自身生物学约束的范围内获得幸福。但你的生物学约束比你想的要大得多。
幸福的动态范围相当大
如果你曾经喝醉过,或者通过迷幻药、冥想、呼吸法或其他催眠技巧进入过意识改变的状态,你就体验过超越日常感受的短暂幸福时刻。
当然,其中一部分是虚假的、由快感驱动的幸福。但其中也有真实的成分,否则你不会渴望那种状态。
达到这些短暂的幸福状态,可以向你展示你的动态范围有多大——而这个范围可以相当大。
你如何才能持续地把自己往那个方向推,而不是通过让大脑屈服和沉默来偶尔造访那种状态?
不幸福极其低效
Naval: 除了”我太聪明了所以不需要幸福”之外,另一个反对理由是:“我不想让它降低我的生产力。我不想减少欲望或工作动力。”
事实核查一下:确实如此。你越幸福、越安宁,就越不可能跑出去改变世界。但同时,不幸福是非常低效的。一个安宁的人脑子里不会有过多的杂念。如果你是一个充满干劲但不幸福的人,你的大脑会24小时不停运转。
不幸福的人判断力不好
这会带来什么后果?你会睡不好。你更容易愤怒地做出反应,把自己挖进一个坑里,然后再费力爬出来。你的决定是情绪化的、冲动的。你更可能陷入忙碌陷阱——永远在忙,从一件事奔向另一件事,因为你无法在心智上分清主次。
当你没有安宁的心境时,很难做出判断,因为太多线程同时穿过你的脑海。你没有时间专注于做出那些判断。
这里有一个权衡。如果你明天就成佛了,你不太可能同时像 Elon Musk 那样发射火箭去月球。但另一方面,有大量成功的、乐观的科学家、创新者和其他领袖——尤其是随着年龄增长之后。幸福的人并不总是低效的。
宁静的心智做出更好的决定
当我在自己的生活中变得更幸福时,我变得更高效了——尽管我不再像从前那样拼命工作。我能够与那些在早年生活中因为某种成见而刻意保持距离的人建立关系。
我现在做决定清晰得多,因为我能看到长期的结果。我直奔主题,不会试图在这里或那里多争取20%——因为我知道那从长远来看会让我不幸福,让对方不幸福,也让交易变得更不稳定。
我变得更有生产力了,尽管我不再那么拼命工作,因为我做出了更好的决定。
用最少的努力获得最好的结果
Naval: 在现代社会,我们决策的质量至关重要,因为我们每个人都有杠杆。你可以通过代码、社区、媒体、资本、劳动力和其他方式获得杠杆。如果你聪明,你会给每一个决定加上杠杆。
如果 Warren Buffett 85%的时候做出正确决定,而他的竞争对手70%的时候正确,Buffett 将赢得一切。这就是他力量的来源:优秀的决策能力。他一年只做一两个决策。大部分时间他坐在那里读书、思考、读 S-1,打桥牌、旅行、打高尔夫。
显然,拼命工作不是解决方案。好的决策加上高杠杆才是解决方案。
拥有宁静的心智,做一个更幸福的人,较少依赖一时的快感,更加沉稳——这些会给你提供做出更好决策的心境。幸福实际上会提升你的效能。只要效能的提升大于驱动力的下降,你就是划算的。
问问自己:你是想通过最努力地工作成为世界上最好的,还是想通过最聪明地工作、以最少的努力成为世界上最好的?
想象你是宇宙之神。你全知全能。你只需要推动一只蝴蝶朝某个方向飞,就能改变宇宙中的任何事物,因为你确切地知道从那以后粒子会如何碰撞。
全知即全能
全知即全能。知识就是力量。我们可以纯粹通过知识获得幸福,而那份幸福会改善我们的决策。那份幸福会给我们更多时间阅读;让我们更了解自己和他人的运作方式;使我们更高效;并提升我们的判断力。它也应当增加我们的收入和实现财务自由所需的回报。
现代人的挣扎:对抗被武器化的成瘾
纯粹追求快乐本身会导致成瘾
Naval:在某个非常深层的层面上,所有的快乐都会产生与之抵消的痛苦和对失去的恐惧。我最近发了一条推文:“在丰裕的时代,纯粹追求快乐本身会导致成瘾。” 这是对宫本武藏那句话的升级版:“不要为了快乐本身而追求快乐。”
武藏是一位日本剑客。在他的时代,追求快乐与今天的含义截然不同。他没有触手可及的无限量加工食品、网络色情、大麻和酒精。
既然我们身处丰裕时代,如果纯粹为了快乐本身去追求,很容易就会陷入成瘾。而一旦陷入,就很难走出来。
现代人的挣扎,本质上是个体——脱离了部落、宗教和文化网络——试图独自对抗所有这些被武器化的成瘾:酒精、毒品、色情、加工食品、新闻媒体、互联网、社交媒体和电子游戏。
成瘾是虚假的工作和虚假的娱乐
成瘾让你从事虚假的娱乐和虚假的工作。以前,你得出去和朋友社交;现在,你只需要和一群陌生人喝醉。以前,你得去找伴侣、生育后代、养家糊口;现在,你只需要看大量色情片。以前,你得打猎、爬树才能获得一点点天然甜味的果实;现在,你想买多少冰激凌就买多少。
现代人的挣扎就是对抗这些被武器化的成瘾。它们给你小剂量的快乐,但同时也使你变得迟钝,并让你暴露在它们缺席时的痛苦之中。
戒除成瘾在社会上不被接受
成瘾维持着虚假的关系和活动
Naval:如果你经常饮酒或服用某种药物,试试下面这个思想实验。
你最期待的活动是什么?我敢打赌,都是那些你能喝酒或用药的场合。你期待晚餐时间、即将到来的派对或和朋友去酒吧 hopping。
要看出这有多虚假,下次出门时下决心不喝酒也不用药物。然后问问自己你有多期待那个活动。你会发现:完全不期待。
这就造成了一个困境。这些虚假快乐的来源最终会使我变得迟钝,在它们消失时带来痛苦,并导致成瘾。但如果我放弃它们,我也会很痛苦,因为我不再和朋友社交了。我不会出门,也不会有任何乐趣。
戒除成瘾需要一种全新的生活方式
戒除成瘾非常困难,因为你既要打破身体上的成瘾,又要改变生活方式。你必须切换到一种没有那种物质也能获得快乐的生活方式。
如果我为了社交而喝酒,并且喝得足够多,我会发现自己花时间相处的人,清醒时我根本不愿与之来往。清醒时,我无法忍受这些人、我们讨论的话题或我们去的场所。我只能醉着做这些事。
成瘾维系着虚假的关系和虚假的活动
这些虚假的关系和虚假的活动是靠酒精维系在一起的。如果我停止饮酒,我就得换掉朋友,寻找新的事情去做。这很困难,而且在社会上不被接受。
我很久以前就意识到,期待周末和假期是一个问题。首先,它夺走了日常的快乐,因为你活在未来的期待中,其余时间都在煎熬。其次,你已经接受了一种大部分时间都在煎熬中度过的生存方式。
从心智中找到安宁
心智应该是仆人,而不是主人
Naval:让我们谈谈安宁,然后再谈谈真理,以及它们与幸福的关系。
当我说你想要幸福时,我实际在说的是你想要找到安宁。我们说”内心的安宁”(peace of mind),但我们真正想要的是”从心智中获得的安宁”(peace from mind)。
在最快乐的时刻,心智会安静下来
在你最快乐的时刻——无论你是在用药、达到高潮、在风筝冲浪中找到极限、和朋友大笑,还是看着令人惊叹的落日——你的心智都会安静下来。它平静下来,你脑海中的那个声音沉默了。你获得了一种敬畏感,你也可以称之为美、极乐或喜悦。
我们都在追寻这个。我们都在追逐它。在内心深处,我们真正寻找的是从心智中获得的安宁。
在某个阶段,心智变成了主人
我并不是把心智当作敌人。它是一个非常有用的工具。但在某个阶段,它变得无法控制了。心智变成了主人,而不是仆人。
我们的心智进化得偏执、恐惧、充满愤怒。人类是地球上行走过的最偏执、最愤怒的生物。我们是处于食物链顶端的掠食者,通过杀戮、征服或驯化这个星球上的所有其他物种而称霸。我们靠恐惧、暴力,当然还有合作做到了这一点。
大自然是残酷的。打开任何一部自然纪录片你都会看到:A 吃 B;B 吃 C;C 吃 D;D 吃 E。大自然是血腥的爪牙。我们源自暴力和鲜血。
我们的环境奖赏悲观和偏执
现代社会安全得多,也和平得多。保持谨慎、保留一些偏执、偶尔发怒——仍然是有意义的,但不需要像我们与生俱来的那么多。把它调低一些是没问题的。
威胁水平并没有我们的基因所认为的那么高。如果你一千年前走在树林里,听到灌木丛中有窸窣声,你偏执是对的。假设十次中有九次是灌木丛中的兔子,一次是老虎。乐观主义者十次中九次抓到兔子,第十次被老虎吃掉。悲观主义者每次都能存活下来。
我们进化而来的本性奖赏悲观。但我们生活在安全得多的时代,所以我们必须找到超越它的方式,走向安宁。
幸福是运动中的安宁
安宁是静止时的幸福
Naval:在某些方面,现代生活比史前时代更加繁忙。我们的压力来源更加持久。
让我们定义一下压力。在物理意义上,压力发生在某个东西同时想待在两个地方的时候。如果我对一根铁梁的两端施加压力,我就在铁梁上制造了应力,因为一部分想朝北,另一部分想朝南。
压力是无法决定什么才是重要的
在精神层面上,压力是无法决定什么才是重要的。你同时想要两件互不相容的事。我想放松,但需要工作。这时我就处于压力之中。
当你放弃某件事时,它就不再有压力了。当你接受某件事不在你的控制范围内时,为它焦虑就没有意义了。
心智不断制造压力,让你比实际情况更偏执或更愤怒。
你想要找到从心智中获得的安宁。你并不是要关闭大脑。你无法压制心智或强迫它做任何事。如果我说”不要想一头白象”,你就会想到一头白象。相反,你要培养一些工具,让你的心智能够自行平静下来。然后,压力会自然而然地消失。
你怎么做到这一点?你如何获得一个更安宁的心智?
安宁是静止时的幸福
有一句话我很喜欢:“安宁是静止时的幸福;幸福是运动中的安宁。” 一个在静止时安宁的人,在做事情时最终会感到幸福。而一个幸福的人闲坐时会感到安宁。最终的目标不是”幸福”,即使我们经常使用这个词。目标是”安宁”。
通向安宁的途径
那么问题就变成了:你如何获得安宁?
获得安宁的第一个难题在于,没有任何活动能让你抵达那里。从根本上说,安宁就是不活动;是一种一切都很好的感觉。
如果一切都很好,你就不会做任何身体或精神上的活动去改变它。你也不会希望自己正在做些什么来改变它,因为那会产生压力。
你无法朝着安宁努力,只能朝着理解努力
你无法直接获得安宁,甚至无法朝着它努力。相反,你可以朝着理解努力。有一句古老的锡克教格言:“神的名即是真理。“当你理解了某些事情,并且它们成为你的一部分时,你自然会成为一个更安宁的人。
越接近真相,内心越安静
智者是安静的
Naval:我前阵子发了一条推文:“你越接近真相,内心就越安静。”
我们凭直觉就知道这一点。当一个人喋喋不休或者在扮演小丑时,你知道他内心并不安宁。你知道 Robin Williams 内心并不安宁。
智慧孕育斯多葛
我们预期像老子或苏格拉底这样的智者是安静的——不是因为他们试图显得有智慧,而是因为他们内心安静。我们理解安宁与智慧相伴而行。
Kapil Gupta 在这个话题上比我写得多的多,他说过:“智慧孕育斯多葛。斯多葛不孕育智慧。“随着你变得有智慧,你自然会变得斯多葛。你不会因为表现得斯多葛就变得有智慧。那是本末倒置。
顺便说一句,我前几天发的一条推文被极大地误读了。那么多人没通过那场智商测试。我写道:“你越聪明,读得越慢。“速读那帮人被激怒了,有人说,“好吧,Bill Gates 一年读 150 本书。“还有人说,“我读得很慢,所以我一定很聪明。“他们搞错了。我说的是”如果 A,则 B”,那并不意味着”如果 B,则 A”。
群体寻求共识,个体寻求真相
社会对你的期望并非对你好的东西
Naval:什么是被认为是”真相”的,是被争夺的。个体寻求真相,但群体寻求共识——而社会是最大的群体。所以我们遇到的最大问题是:社会对你的期望并不总是对你好的。
即使是聪明人也会顺从社会的谎言
即使是聪明、有批判性思维的人也会顺从社会的许多”真相”,内心深处知道它们是谎言。
举一个简单的例子:“金钱不会让你幸福”是一个社会真相,但不是一个个人真相。看看所有在努力赚钱的个人。他们知道金钱可以消除许多不幸的来源,让他们达到一个幸福由自己掌控的境地。幸福变成了他们的选择,而不是被外力强加于他们。
这只是社会告诉你的众多谎言之一。
社会的另一个谎言是,你送孩子上学是为了接受教育。事实上,他们每天只接受一个小时的教育,其余时间都是灌输。他们以最慢学生的速度被教授,而且大多数被教授的科目要么无关紧要,要么已经过时。
学校是一小部分教育、大剂量的社会化与服从训练,以及大量的 babysitting 的组合——这对无法在家照顾孩子的父母很有帮助。它还能让那些年轻的捣蛋鬼远离街头。
学校做了很多事情,但教育只是其中很小的一部分。在家上学的统计数据清楚地表明了这一点,甚至 unschooling 的统计数据也开始显示这一点。
内疚是社会把你训练成自己的看守
社会不仅仅对你撒谎。它还给你编程,让你在违背它的”真相”时自我惩罚。内疚是社会对你编程得如此成功,以至于你成为了自己的看守。内疚是社会的声音在你脑中说话。
寻求真相是一门艰难的事业。你本质上必须带着深刻的信念,去理解那些你一直被编程去误解的东西。
安宁之路即是真相
当自我提升失败时,致力于发现真相
Naval:对安宁的寻找,其实是对真相的寻找。试着去看到通过发现真相来理解事物的优势,而不是通过练习。
当你发现真相时,坏习惯可以自行消失
假设我正在试图戒烟。我可以尝试一些技巧,但它们总是痛苦而艰难的。通常,会有一个时刻,我以一种全新的方式看待自己,让习惯自行消失。我被诊断出肺癌并理解自己即将死去,或者我看到一个朋友因类似的坏习惯而陷入困境。当我足够清晰地看到某件事并理解它时,坏习惯可以自行消解。
更广泛地说,我可能会看到自己某个不喜欢的方面。也许我在一个朋友身上看到了它,然后再也无法视而不见,以至于我们再也无法做朋友。
自我提升只是自我冲突的精致包装
看到和理解事物能带来练习和技巧无法实现的变化。当你遵循一种技巧时,你和你要达成的事物之间总是有一道鸿沟。总有重复、挣扎和冲突。
如果我们想要安宁,就必须放弃自我冲突。我们甚至必须放弃自我提升,因为自我提升只是自我冲突的一种精致包装。相反,我们需要运用天生的好奇心去更好地理解事物。通过理解,我们自然会提升自己。
一旦我们真正理解了不健康食物对身体的影响——当我们看到自己身上多出的体重,或者追踪到吃太多糖后血糖的飙升和骤降,或者看到咖啡因如何让我们亢奋然后又让我们崩溃——我们就会自动变得更好。
所以,通往安宁的道路就是真相。
术语表
| 原文 | 中文 |
|---|---|
| babysitting | babysitting(临时照看儿童,保留原文) |
| Bill Gates | Bill Gates(国际知名人物,常用中译名为比尔·盖茨,但鉴于文中语境保留原文更为统一) |
| Elon Musk | Elon Musk(国际知名人物,常用中译名为埃隆·马斯克,但鉴于文中语境保留原文更为统一) |
| Kapil Gupta | Kapil Gupta(人名,保留原文) |
| Lao Tzu | 老子 |
| Osho | 奥修(保留原文 Osho) |
| Robin Williams | Robin Williams(人名,保留原文) |
| S-1 | S-1(美国证券招股书文件,保留原文) |
| Socrates | 苏格拉底 |
| unschooling | unschooling(非学校教育理念,保留原文) |
| Warren Buffett | Warren Buffett(国际知名人物,常用中译名为沃伦·巴菲特,但鉴于文中语境保留原文更为统一) |
此文章由 AI 翻译(miaoyan_chunk_translate)