复制你喜欢的东西
复制你喜欢的东西
2006年7月
当我在高中时,我花了很多时间模仿糟糕的作家。我们在英语课上学习的大多是小说,所以我认为那是写作的最高形式。
错误一。
似乎最受推崇的故事是那些人们以复杂方式受苦的故事。任何有趣或引人入胜的东西都理所当然地值得怀疑,除非它古老到难以理解,比如莎士比亚或乔叟。
错误二。
理想的媒介似乎是短篇小说,我后来了解到它生命周期相当短暂,大致与杂志出版的高峰期重合。但由于它们的大小使它们非常适合在高中课堂使用,我们读了很多,这给我们留下了短篇小说正在蓬勃发展的印象。
错误三。
因为它们如此之短,所以真的不需要发生什么;你只能展示一个随机截断的生活片段,这被认为是先进的。
错误四。
结果是我写了很多故事,其中什么都没发生,只是有人以看似深刻的方式不开心。
大学的大部分时间我是哲学专业的。我对发表在哲学期刊上的论文印象很深。它们的排版如此精美,语气令人着迷——时而随意,时而技术到缓冲区溢出。一个人会走在街上,突然模态性本身就会出现在他面前。我从没有真正理解这些论文,但我想我以后会抽时间更仔细地重读它们。在此期间,我尽力模仿它们。我现在可以看到,这是一个注定失败的努力,因为它们并没有真正说什么。例如,没有哲学家反驳过另一个,因为没有人说过足够确定的东西来反驳。不用说,我的模仿也没有说什么。
在研究生院,我仍然在浪费时间模仿错误的东西。当时有一种时髦的程序叫做专家系统,其核心是叫做推理引擎的东西。我看了看这些东西的功能,想”我可以用一千行代码写出那个。“然而,著名教授们正在写关于它们的书,创业公司正在以年薪一份的价格销售它们。多么好的机会,我想;这些令人印象深刻的东西对我来说似乎很容易;我一定很敏锐。错了。这只是一个时尚。教授们写的关于专家系统的书现在被忽略了。它们甚至不在通向任何有趣事物的道路上。而为它们支付如此之多费用的客户很大程度上是那些为螺丝刀和马桶座支付数千美元的政府机构。
如何避免模仿错误的东西?只模仿你真正喜欢的东西。这在所有三种情况下都会救了我。我不喜欢我们在英语课上必须读的短篇小说;我从哲学论文中学不到任何东西;我自己没有使用专家系统。我相信这些东西是好的,因为它们受到钦佩。
很难将你喜欢的东西和你印象深刻的东西分开。一个技巧是忽略包装。每当我在博物馆看到一幅令人印象深刻的画时,我会问自己:如果我在车库拍卖中发现它,脏兮兮的,没有画框,不知道是谁画的,我会为它付多少钱?如果你在博物馆里尝试这个实验,你会发现你会得到一些真正令人震惊的结果。不要因为这个数据点是异常值就忽略它。
找出你喜欢的东西的另一种方法是看看你作为有罪恶感的乐趣喜欢什么。人们喜欢的很多东西,特别是如果他们年轻而有雄心,他们喜欢主要是因为喜欢它们的美德感。99%读《尤利西斯》的人都在想”我正在读《尤利西斯》“。有罪恶感的乐趣至少是纯粹的。当你感觉不够有美德时,你读什么?当你读一本书时,你感到悲伤只剩下半本,而不是因为你已经读了一半而印象深刻,那是什么?那是你真正喜欢的东西。
即使当你发现真正好的东西来模仿时,还有另一个陷阱需要避免。小心地模仿使它们变得好的东西,而不是它们的缺陷。很容易被引入模仿缺陷,因为它们更容易看到,当然也更容易模仿。例如,十八和十九世纪的大多数画家使用棕色调的颜色。他们是在模仿文艺复兴时期的伟大画家,那些画在当时已经因为灰尘而变成棕色。那些画后来被清理了,显示出鲜艳的色彩;当然,他们的模仿者仍然是棕色的。
顺便说一句,是绘画治愈了我模仿错误东西的习惯。研究生院读到一半时,我决定尝试成为一名画家,艺术世界如此明显地腐败,以至于它挣断了轻信的缰绳。这些人使哲学教授看起来像数学家一样一丝不苟。显然,做好工作 xor 成为内部人士的选择如此明显,我被迫看到这种区别。在某种程度上,几乎每个领域都存在这种区别,但直到那时我设法避免面对它。
这是我从绘画中学到的最有价值的东西之一:你必须自己弄清楚什么是好的。你不能信任权威。他们在这件事上会对你说谎。
Copy What You Like
July 2006
When I was in high school I spent a lot of time imitating bad writers. What we studied in English classes was mostly fiction, so I assumed that was the highest form of writing. Mistake number one.
The stories that seemed to be most admired were ones in which people suffered in complicated ways. Anything funny or gripping was ipso facto suspect, unless it was old enough to be hard to understand, like Shakespeare or Chaucer. Mistake number two.
The ideal medium seemed the short story, which I’ve since learned had quite a brief life, roughly coincident with the peak of magazine publishing. But since their size made them perfect for use in high school classes, we read a lot of them, which gave us the impression the short story was flourishing. Mistake number three.
And because they were so short, nothing really had to happen; you could just show a randomly truncated slice of life, and that was considered advanced. Mistake number four.
The result was that I wrote a lot of stories in which nothing happened except that someone was unhappy in a way that seemed deep.
For most of college I was a philosophy major. I was very impressed by the papers published in philosophy journals. They were so beautifully typeset, and their tone was just captivating—alternately casual and buffer-overflowingly technical. A fellow would be walking along a street and suddenly modality qua modality would spring upon him. I didn’t ever quite understand these papers, but I figured I’d get around to that later, when I had time to reread them more closely. In the meantime I tried my best to imitate them. This was, I can now see, a doomed undertaking, because they weren’t really saying anything. No philosopher ever refuted another, for example, because no one said anything definite enough to refute. Needless to say, my imitations didn’t say anything either.
In grad school I was still wasting time imitating the wrong things. There was then a fashionable type of program called an expert system, at the core of which was something called an inference engine. I looked at what these things did and thought “I could write that in a thousand lines of code.” And yet eminent professors were writing books about them, and startups were selling them for a year’s salary a copy. What an opportunity, I thought; these impressive things seem easy to me; I must be pretty sharp. Wrong. It was simply a fad. The books the professors wrote about expert systems are now ignored. They were not even on a path to anything interesting. And the customers paying so much for them were largely the same government agencies that paid thousands for screwdrivers and toilet seats.
How do you avoid copying the wrong things? Copy only what you genuinely like. That would have saved me in all three cases. I didn’t enjoy the short stories we had to read in English classes; I didn’t learn anything from philosophy papers; I didn’t use expert systems myself. I believed these things were good because they were admired.
It can be hard to separate the things you like from the things you’re impressed with. One trick is to ignore presentation. Whenever I see a painting impressively hung in a museum, I ask myself: how much would I pay for this if I found it at a garage sale, dirty and frameless, and with no idea who painted it? If you walk around a museum trying this experiment, you’ll find you get some truly startling results. Don’t ignore this data point just because it’s an outlier.
Another way to figure out what you like is to look at what you enjoy as guilty pleasures. Many things people like, especially if they’re young and ambitious, they like largely for the feeling of virtue in liking them. 99% of people reading Ulysses are thinking “I’m reading Ulysses” as they do it. A guilty pleasure is at least a pure one. What do you read when you don’t feel up to being virtuous? What kind of book do you read and feel sad that there’s only half of it left, instead of being impressed that you’re half way through? That’s what you really like.
Even when you find genuinely good things to copy, there’s another pitfall to be avoided. Be careful to copy what makes them good, rather than their flaws. It’s easy to be drawn into imitating flaws, because they’re easier to see, and of course easier to copy too. For example, most painters in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries used brownish colors. They were imitating the great painters of the Renaissance, whose paintings by that time were brown with dirt. Those paintings have since been cleaned, revealing brilliant colors; their imitators are of course still brown.
It was painting, incidentally, that cured me of copying the wrong things. Halfway through grad school I decided I wanted to try being a painter, and the art world was so manifestly corrupt that it snapped the leash of credulity. These people made philosophy professors seem as scrupulous as mathematicians. It was so clearly a choice of doing good work xor being an insider that I was forced to see the distinction. It’s there to some degree in almost every field, but I had till then managed to avoid facing it.
That was one of the most valuable things I learned from painting: you have to figure out for yourself what’s good. You can’t trust authorities. They’ll lie to you on this one.